Chapter 3 – Mesosphere

March 19th, 2022

It was here that I stopped writing. And then, I made the decision for a change in methods.

Until this point, my methods were, how do I say, alike to simply putting down railway tracks on the ground. It worked well for what it was, but now that I’m here, a mountain lies ahead. A mountain too steep for a path to be built as is. Thus, I decided to dig a tunnel through.

If the concept called accuracy is to be understood as the same accuracy that evidence used in court must have, what I am writing is not at all aiming for accuracy. In fact, the result of my writing is absolutely inaccurate. My aim instead is faithfulness. Not to the truth however, but to me. In the sense that it is inaccurate, I am telling a lie.

Lies, when told, come back to bite you. That is true. Still, the lies I tell here will not betray me. Both the countless hidden lies, as well as the elaborate lies I wrote as metaphorical tunnels to pave the way; they are all loyal to me.

Now then, let us enter the tunnel. In this tunnel, I will become Hasegawa Yukari, the heartthrob prince.

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Hey there, Junko. It’s been a while.

It’s such a strange feeling to reunite with you in this manner. Why, before I knew it, I was no longer a human. Can you imagine my surprise?

I am not a human. I’m a stereotype. Just one of many in your head: a heartthrob prince. For now, anyway. I’m certain that as we pass through this tunnel, I will change into something else. Junko, I pray that you reach that point.

That’s enough for greetings, I’m afraid. The chief topic starts here.

You want me to explain the meaning of that key I handed over to you, “Why is the sky blue?”, am I right? Alright then, I’ll choose a good place to start.

Let’s see. Yes, it seems the best place to start would be the time right after my transfer. It was the 3pm, the 8th of January in 2009 at the classroom of Class 1 of the third years of Sama Seitaku Girls’ Private Academy—

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The two transfer students were so secretive that they kept even the reasons for their transfer a secret. At first, people thought it was a joke but eventually they started to understand that it was anything but. It was in such a situation that a the fellow third year from the crowd surrounding Mana and I said,

“Kinda weird, don’t you think?”

After a moment of silence, Mana replied,

“Who are you saying that to?”

And then, everyone went silent.

…What do you think about this exchange? It seems to be deceptively simple. Just a bit of a quarrel. Yet, for Mana, it had another separate meaning to it.

Think about the literal meaning of the words used in this exchange.

First, we have to ask what “weird” means. Weird means “not normal” but what is “normal”? “Average” has a mathematical definition. “Normal” on the other hand has no concrete requirements, does it? It doesn’t. That is why there is no logical way to judge what “normal” is. We can say that the average of the natural numbers 1 to 10 is 5.5, and that would be logically sound. However, if we were to say that humans normally live until they’re fifty, that would leave room for argument. The reality is that that statement is absolutely untrue in impoverished countries in Africa.

Now here’s a thought experiment: think of people who believe things like“if you have a healthy diet, you won’t get infected with AIDS” and “nobody was killed at the Auschwitz concentration camps”. They aren’t “normal”. If these people were to face you and insist “anyone who’s normal would have the same beliefs as I do”, what would you do? You’d be in a fix, I’m sure.

The conclusion of this thought experiment: Having people who are not “normal” force their idea of “normal” onto you is troublesome.

Now then, think about the line “Kinda weird, don’t you think?”. If you were to interpret it literally, it’s asking for agreement. Whose agreement? There’s no way it would be the “kinda weird” Mana. And that’s why Mana replied like that: “Who are you saying that to?”.

What’s that you say? It may be logical but there’s no way the other person understood all that? You’d be right. Even Mana herself didn’t attempt to make the other person understand her logic. A line like “Who are you saying that to?” would usually intimidate the listener into silence. Mana said that both because of her aforementioned logic, and because she was trying to cause the listener’s silence.

An intimidation doesn’t need logic? Well, even you felt it when you tried to say “Why is the sky blue?”, didn’t you? That unpleasantness that comes with saying something without thinking, something you don’t mean. Mana is extremely sensitive to those sorts of words, you see. She hates hearing them, hates saying them.

Words said without thought, unpleasant words. The line ”Kinda weird, don’t you think?” is also the same.  Saying something that you don’t even understand yourself. Those kinds of words are the type Mana despises. Vehemently so.

“Kinda weird, don’t you think?”: these words may not be very friendly, but if you forget the unpleasantness for a moment, you would see that it’s nothing but an expression of annoyance. It’s not such a heavy crime that you need to intimidate the other person for it. At that time, part of the reason why everyone went silent was surely because they couldn’t relate to Mana’s reaction. A difference in sensibilities, as they say.

Unpleasant words, a reply of “Who are you saying that to?”, and then the silence. This was something that I had seen repeat so many times that I was tired of it. The line “Who are you saying that to” is Mana’s signature line. The majority of people would go quiet immediately after hearing that signature line. I saw that happen at my former school.

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When it comes to “Who are you saying that to?”, we have to speak of the “pencil case incident”.

It happened when Mana and I just moved up to our second year of middle school. By then, Mana was already famous as a weirdo, whereas I was the heartthrob prince at said all-girls’ school. At the time, Mana and I were not yet friends and we were in different classes, so I heard the details of this incident through hearsay.

I’m not sure what triggered it but another second year, let’s call her A-ko, insulted Mana.

“What are you, a fucking idiot?”, said A-ko.

“Who are you saying that to?”, said Mana.

Most people would’ve shut up here. As you know, Mana has a strange intensity to her. However, the A-ko then was different.

“You, asshole.”, said A-ko.

“I see”, said Mana. She nodded, took the pencil case on her desk, and put it on top of her head.

Mana explained this action of hers to me after the incident. “An idiot can’t judge whether or not someone is an idiot. Therefore, instead of meaninglessly answering, I did what an idiot would do.” Of course, this is the logical part of it. The other reason she did it I’m sure you understand by now.

Unfortunately, at the time of the incident, Mana and A-ko were not alone. There were a few people in the audience. They were people who, because they had spent so long near Mana, understood the other meaning to her actions. They are the same ones who told me the story of this incident.

The audience probably told A-ko about the other reason for Mana’s actions. Of course, silently using their gazes and expressions. And so, A-ko didn’t bother to reply with words. She violently kicked a desk causing Mana to fall to the floor. A-ko was suspended.

A-ko wasn’t the type to get violent. She was simply misfortunate to have talked to Mana that day. Mana must eliminate unpleasant words. For the sake of that, she has no fear or qualms about the methods she uses. Absolutely none. I experienced that myself.

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That explanation took longer than I thought it would. My apologies. There’s only a bit more left: it’s when you say things like that that things start getting longer.

Still, from here on out, I hope you’ll forgive me even if it gets long. From here on out, I won’t be talking about hearsay or witness accounts, it’ll be my personal experience. 

“Why is it wrong to kill people?”

Mana looked away for a moment and answered,

“You. Who do you want to kill?”

This was my first time. My first time experiencing Mana’s “You.”

A year after the pencil case incident. It was the spring when we moved up to our third year of middle school. I had long been interested in Mana.

So I say, but it is not the type of interest you have, mind you. Unfortunately, same sex attraction isn’t something I can personally understand. I don’t have the ability to relate to those sorts of feelings, you see.

The creatures we call humans are ones that are able to be limitlessly cruel to things they cannot relate to. The reason I’m so engrossed in my role as a prince beloved by the girls around me is because I find the people who are drawn to that laughable. Oh, but I did enjoy receiving love letters. They say being in love turns you into a poet but if you were to ask me, it turns you into a comedian. Ah, I did read them in private of course. As Auberon Quin once said, “The fact is, I want to reflect a little on those beautiful words that have just been uttered. ‘Speaking,’ yes, that was the phrase, ‘speaking in the interests of the public.’ One cannot get the honey from such things without being alone for a little.” I have to agree. (2)

Toying with others. That is my illness.

“And why is that wrong?”. If I were to ask that to Mana, I wonder how she would answer. She probably wouldn’t say anything. These aren’t the type of words that Mana hates; they aren’t unpleasant words.

Due to my chronic condition, Mana seemed to me to be a toy very much worth playing around with. Naïve people suffice most of the time, better to have them than no one, but it’s dull when that’s all I get. Getting a response like what happened in the pencil case incident would be much more exciting, no?

I thought so. And it just so happened that Mana and I became classmates in our third year of middle school. At the time, I was the heartthrob prince at our all girls’ school, and somewhat of a school celebrity. A topic as inoffensive as the weather; that’s what I was. Mana was, for lack of better words, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A topic you definitely couldn’t bring up in small talk, similar to politics and sex; that’s what Mana was.

Just how was she a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Well, I once asked her classmate when I was a second year.

“What kind of person is Etou Mana?”, I asked.

“Er…She’s usually quiet”, she said.

“Usually? Does that mean there are times when she isn’t?”

“I dunno, I think she’s always quiet…”

“Are you scared of her?”

“I dunno if I’d say ‘scared’ exactly”

Look, it’s like we were talking about sex. At least, that’s what I realised while we were talking. I had to struggle quite a bit to stop myself from laughing out loud.

Thus, the school celebrity made contact with the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

First, we had an ordinary period of getting to know each other. “The truth is I’ve always been a bit interested in getting to know you”, and the works. At the time, Mana smiled and replied, “Really? Thank you.” As you know, Mana is curt but she’s easy to talk to.

It was when about a month had passed, which I thought was long enough, that I tried asking her,

“Why is it wrong to kill people?”

Mana averted her eyes for a moment and then answered,

“You. Who do you want to kill?”

It was probably just as Mana had planned, and just as I had predicted: I was at a loss for words.

I wasn’t about to stop just because of that though. I was determined not to.

“Nobody, really.”

“I see, glad to hear it”

“Answer my question.”

“The answer is…this floor.”

Mana pointed at the floor of the classroom.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“The answer to that…is also this floor.”

Mana pointed once again at the classroom floor.

“I said what are you──”

This time Mana pointed silently at the floor. I was finally left with nothing to say.

That night, I was so frustrated that I didn’t sleep. It was worse than getting toyed with. Mana had no intentions of making fun of me; she was absolutely serious. The same seriousness you have when you see a fly on the wall and get ready to swat it. For Mana, unpleasant words were the same as flies. It sometimes happens right? While trying to swat at a fly, you accidentally knock over a table. That incident was that sort of accident.

Why was I so frustrated that I couldn’t sleep? You’re really putting me in a bind here. Just as I cannot relate to your same sex attraction, you won’t be able to relate to my frustration. This is also a difference in sensibilities, as they say. The assumption that all humans can come to understand each other is the height of hubris.

＊

Rather than explaining the difference in our sensibilities, I’ll talk about something we can both relate to. For example, the things we see are probably not all that different, I’m sure.

The Mana then had long hair but it wasn’t wavy nor was it dyed. It was when it was decided that she was going to be a Blessed One that she got her hair done so that it was wavy and brown. For the sake of standing out in stores, you see. Oh, by the way, our school’s uniform was a sailor uniform. It really matched the long black hair she had then.

Speaking of which, I myself have never grown my hair long even once. It felt like it would almost be like I was trying to appeal to men, and I hated that. I couldn’t help but be conscious of men. Wanting to be liked by men without being coquettish: is this feeling something you can understand?

Oops, let’s get back to Mana. Even then, she was short (ah, I guess it would be crazy if she shrunk). She felt conscious about her height. About the fact that she stopped growing once she became a third year. When I asked her if she wanted to be as tall as I was, she said “About average would be nice.”

This reply clearly reveals a certain side of Mana’s. Mana didn’t look to eccentric things as her ideal. She said she didn’t like her own name. Both “Etou” and “Mana” stood out too much, and she said she wished she had a name like “Hasegawa Yukari”(that’s me). I don’t think “Etou” is such a rare surname but apparently it was to her since there weren’t any readymade stamps of the name sold anywhere. “Mana” was a similar case. Now that I think about it, your name “Tachibana Junko” is a name that Mana would probably admire as well. Perhaps Mana chooses her friends by their names? Well, it doesn’t have to be directly related, but I think there’s some correlation there.

You called Mana beautiful. But, well, I’m not sure that’s true. It isn’t my intention to invalidate your opinion but I’d say your tastes are on the more subdued side. The only stand-out parts that could be called beautiful about her were her clear skin, small face, almond-shaped eyes, and properly-aligned teeth. That’s it, no? And that’s why at our previous school, nobody thought of Mana as beautiful. She didn’t have the looks to influence people through looks alone. The consensus was “plain”. If she were such a stand-out beauty, I wouldn’t have described her as a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”.

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“Trying to judge her by the number of things you found beautiful about her? There’s a limit to how simple you can be. It’s very unlike you”, I called out.

You are reading story You are to Me at novel35.com

“Oh, what a surprise that my Great Creator has made her entrance here. I had no intention of looking down on Mana, believe me. I do have every intention of holding those unable to recognise Mana’s beauty in disdain, but that’s not what you want me to talk about, is it?”

Yukari, the princely girl stereotype in my head, answered,

“Never mind other people. Explain what you think.”

“Huh, so you’re asking me what you couldn’t all those 22 years ago?”

That’s right. I never asked. I didn’t ask what Yukari thought of Mana. I couldn’t.

“Oh, it’s fine. I can’t go against my Creator. It’s just, I wish you had asked me outright. Something like “Do you like Mana?”. If it’s that, you already know the answer, no? It’s “No.”

I never asked that, and I didn’t know. This was just an inspired guess due to certain evidence.

“Is that what you yourself think?”

“Maybe, who knows how I truly feel?”

Right, Yukari could’ve been hiding her true feelings. She was someone who could definitely lie easily.

Without knowing what was behind it all, I could only recreate her actions and words.

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My true feelings? Great Creator, you trouble me so. Even you would laugh at the excuse that “even poor people have pure hearts”, no?

I’m sure that behind Mana’s words, there was probably more behind it. But I didn’t really care about that. I was more interested in her “You.” As I’m sure you are too.

Mana’s “You.”. It’s quick. Rather than using “You there” or “Yukari”(that’s me), “You.” is much faster. If she was always that fast, it’d be fine, but because she’d suddenly accelerate it was dangerous. It was almost as if she were pouncing on you.

That was probably part of Mana’s aim. As long as she could just get the other person to shut up, to never say those unpleasant words again, Mana was satisfied.

In essence, as long as they shut up, it was fine, so it’s not like she used “You.” all the time. The line “Who are you saying that to?” serves a similar purpose. There’s also, for instance, when I asked Mana, “What do humans live for?”. Mana, with a reluctant face, said,

“It’s better you don’t know”

“You know why?”

“That’s also something you’re better off not knowing.”

I was splendidly silenced by that.

(Oh right, this is a good example for her true feelings as well. Whether Mana knew the answer or not, in other words her true feelings, didn’t matter in this case. If I had said “I know you don’t know”, she would’ve replied “Then, don’t ask.” and it would be over.

If you think about it, this line “It’s better that you don’t know” is usable for any sort of question. But I only ever saw Mana use it this once. Mana’s favourite replies were, without question, “Who are you saying that to?” as well as combinations of “You.” and “who”.

All this talk about rare or favourite replies makes me sound awfully familiar, right? Well, that’s because I did something that made me become well acquainted with them all.

The first time I experience Mana’s “You.”, I was so frustrated I didn’t sleep that night. I vowed revenge. Although that does sound too poetic, it wasn’t far from the truth. An obsession without love is similar to the desire for revenge. As obsessed as I was with Mana, I didn’t look at Mana herself. I was only looking at myself. I mean, as you can see, I’m what people call a narcissist.

After my first time, I continued a polite friendship with Mana. And then sometimes, at intervals large enough so that I wouldn’t become hated, I would hurl unpleasant words at Mana while feigning ignorance.

Due to the need for gaps in between, I couldn’t test out as many as I could’ve otherwise. As you now know, Mana was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The average person would need quite some courage to simply cut ties with friends they were just friendly with yesterday; that is even more so true when said friend is someone influential like me. But that was something Mana could do easily. I have no doubt that the person who described Mana as “usually quiet” was afraid of that side of her that was capable of such things.

Shall I tell you some words that I said to Mana, words that I’m sure you’d be interested in?

“You should make sure the man looks better, no? That is, if you’re truly an intelligent woman.”

Now, I don’t want you thinking that I said this without reservation. Do consider: if I felt no resistance against any words, I wouldn’t be able to tell what words were unpleasant, now would I?

By the way, just like Mana’s replies, unpleasant words are also quite similar. Take the “truly” in the example I just gave; give it a long think. The phrase “true ramen” are harmless but the phrase “true Japanese person” is unpleasant. Now, why is that so?

Well, Mana’s response was,

“You. Who are you?”

Earlier, I had said that Mana’s “You.” was quite dangerous. However, seeing it like this really illustrates how much of a lady Mana was. “’A truly intelligent woman’? Okay but who the fuck asked you?”. If she were to use a line like that, it would’ve been certain that the other person would go silent.

“You. Who are you?” ─Dear Creator, you see, in my eyes, your first time was nothing more than the usual.

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Mana was trying to shut up the other person; that’s what the school heartthrob, the prince, Yukari said. But that was nothing more than a guess at what Mana’s “true feelings” were. In fact, she just decided for herself what Mana’s true feelings were.

I’m not trying to put Yukari down for being inconsistent. If a fifteen-year-old kid was always right about the things they said, they’d most probably be living in downright unfortunate circumstances. My problem lies not with her inconsistency but with her frivolousness. She so easily talks about Mana’s true feelings are; she so easily makes up her mind on what they are. I think that alone says enough about what type of person Yukari is.

Putting aside the other situations, I feel that that “It’s better you don’t know” was Mana talking about her own conclusion.

When I was doing my PhD, I spent a year at Berkeley. Around then, I made acquaintance with an old woman who lived in the neighbourhood and had a chat with her. As we engaged in small talk, she talked about how the world used to be and then she said,

“─Well, I say all that but at the time I was at a monastery.”

“A monastery? Were you a nun, ma’am?”

The old woman nodded and told me the name of a famous order of nuns.

I guessed the age at which she had returned to the secular life from the things she said, and determined that it was around the time she was at least middle-aged then.

“I see there must’ve been excruciating circumstances”, I said in a feeble attempt to cut the conversation short.

“Oh, not at all. I just had some people problems. The very mundane type of problem, mind you. Not anything that you need to worry your dear self over.

But well, it’s that sort of mundane thing that made me throw away my life’s devotion. It was forty years, you know. All the way from when I was fifteen to when I was fifty-five, I had devoted myself to life in the Order. But just like that, I no longer wanted to continue, could no longer continue, and cleanly threw it all away. What have I done until now? What’s important to me? I ask myself these questions every day even now.”

The way she talked so sure of herself reminded me of those televangelists. Just like it is in Japan, religion is not such a light topic at this country either.

“I may have returned to secular life but I haven’t lost my faith. Discovering yourself, asking questions, expressing doubts; rethinking things can be painful, but I’m certain it isn’t an evil. Yes, in fact, compared to when I was single-mindedly buried in my activities at the order, now I’m much more──”

Right then, she suddenly lost her televangelist-like articulate manner of speech and became silent. Her gaze wandered all over the place, as if she were looking for the words.

I too tried to find those words she was looking for. Perhaps for someone like her who still believed in the value of a monastic life, words like “piety” and “improvement” were not the right words.

Eventually, the old woman said,

“──Sorry, it’s hard to explain.”

I never asked her age but she must’ve at least been seventy. That thing that was “hard to explain” must’ve been those twenty or so years she had lived through.

Perhaps Mana’s answer of “It’s better you don’t know” was an answer for a way to live through that “hard to explain” thing the old woman experienced.

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A word to my Dear Creator: you created me at your own will and yet you accuse me of frivolity. Why, I won’t say that’s a bad thing but don’t you think you’re being inconsistent yourself? Jealousy is an ugly emotion, you know. Especially when it’s about something more than twenty years in the past.

Well then, let’s get to the heart of the matter, shall we? Let’s speak of that incident that drives you wild with envy even now. It’s finally time to speak about the meaning of “Why is the sky blue?”.

As you may remember, I said earlier that Mana was a proper lady. Well then, what kind of family do you think Mana’s was?  It would’ve been entertaining if she had the lineage of one of the Five Regent Houses of the Fujiwara clan, alas that was not the case. Her father was simply the second CEO of a small company. Her biological mother had already passed away and she had a stepmother by her father’s remarriage. I had met with them several times, because of that incident of course, and they were extremely sensible people. So much so that until that incident occurred, they simply chalked Mana up to being a difficult teenager.

The first time I met her parents was before the incident. Mana’s house was nearby mine and so I sometimes came over to hang out. That incident happened at Mana’s house, at Mana’s room.

It was autumn, you see. The Sunday after midterms. The season of clear blue skies and horses growing stout, as they say. On my way to Mana’s house, I searched for unpleasant words.

I couldn’t find any words that I was convinced would make Mana struggle for an answer. Since I’d been repeating this for half a year by then, I could more or less figure how Mana would respond. Considering I had been able to learn that through all the repetitions, now that I think about it, Mana had probably realised what I had been trying to do too.

When I finally thought up “Why is the sky blue?”, I wavered quite a bit. I had no idea whether Mana would take the bait. What if she just interprets it as me being poetic? But it was something fresh and I couldn’t tell how Mana would respond anyway.

If you think about it for a while, these words are quite poetic. I’m sure a scientist like you understands but an explanation like “it’s caused by the diffusion of light” is one that’s missing the heart of the matter. It’s begging the question.

The first of which is the question of what “blue” is. There’s the blue of the sky, the blue of the light from screens, the blue of lapis lazuli; these are all different colours, yet why is it that they are all categorised as “blue”?  The question, “Why is the sky blue?”, includes this categorisation problem as well. And yet, why is it that that categorisation problem is ignored and the answer “the diffusion of light” emerges directly instead?

See, isn’t it unpleasant? That is why I was certain that Mana would never say “it’s caused by the diffusion of light”. Well, you ask, what other ways are there to answer? I didn’t know. I simply thought it was a question worth trying on Mana.

Mana’s home was a regular apartment complex. She lived on the fourth storey of a seven-storey building. No matter the home, the entrance area reveals the personalities of its inhabitants. However, the entrance area at Mana’s home was like an office. You know how there’s those dark grey steel shelves used for keeping documents at offices? That’s what stood there at Mana’s home with pairs of shoes on it. Even the umbrella stand was one that felt like it would be right at home in a convenience store. It was a product full of a lack of personality.

By the way, when checking the entrance areas in people’s homes, the points of interest are the shoe rack and the umbrella stand. Designer brand umbrella stands are very much designer brand-like, and the umbrella stands of the countryside nouveau riche are very much fitting to the countryside nouveau riche. Umbrella stands are, even when it comes to those who don’t care much about the opinions of others, a natural reflection of the inhabitants’ personalities. Ah, that said, it’s hard for anyone to choose a shoe rack that reflects their personality. Give it a think: can you imagine a shoe rack that looks very designer or very nouveau riche? For most people, they end up settling on an inconsequentially plain one.  When you look at umbrella stands and shoe racks through this lens, you gain an understanding of the inhabitants of that house. The umbrella stands reveal the general personality of the inhabitants. The shoe racks reveal how important the inhabitants believe their personalities and interests to be.

I want you to imagine the entrance area of Mana’s home. I said earlier that Mana’s parents were extremely sensible people, did I not? I did not mean that they fit any type of sensible that commonly comes to mind. Being extremely sensible is in of itself unique. Most people are lacking in common sense.

At first, I had thought that the use of that office rack as a shoe rack was a sign of interest in modern art. After greeting Mana’s mother and asking about the shoe rack, she said matter-of-factly,

“We used to use the type that had doors, but the humidity and smell was quite terrible. It was just our luck that my husband brought in a rack that his office no longer needed.”

It seems that in that home, personality and interests were absent.

After brief surprise, I thought of Mana and felt relieved. If Mana’s parents were nouveau riche from the countryside or sophisticated city people, her life would likely be torture.

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When Yukari──not the stereotype in my head, but the real Yukari──told me the story of the shoe rack, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react.  At my home, there was in fact a ‘designer shoe rack’. It was a two-step ladder which stood by having the legs open so they would cross to make an X-shape. We would place shoes on those very steps. The height was about equal to my own. Considering its capacity, it was meaninglessly big for a house that only had me and my dad in it. I guess these types of designer products aren’t the type you use to its full capacity anyway.  It was apparently the work of a famous designer, so the price was surely around that of a car.

At the time (even now), I hadn’t visited so many homes that I could talk much of the different entrances of different homes. If my house hadn’t had that shoe rack, I would’ve taken Yukari’s words at face value.

This is Yukari’s frivolity. Her words are frivolous and not to be trusted. And that is exactly why this tunnel can only be passed through her words. These frivolous and questionable words were exactly what I had experienced.

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O Creator of mine, you can be rather cruel. If you really thought that, I wish you had said it right then and there. Perhaps I came off as all-knowing.

More importantly, would your home’s shoe rack not be an example of what I had stated instead of an outlier? Your father is very particular and passionate about his hobbies. No, I apologise. Saying that an artist is ‘passionate about his hobbies’ sounds a bit rude. He’s passionate about his art; yes, that sounds right.

Oh right, there I go again making a detour. Let’s get back to the main topic. The story of that incident.

That day, it was day in autumn, the season of clear blue skies and horses growing stout. I went past that office-like entrance area, greeted Mana’s mother, and went into Mana’s room.

Mana’s room was──ah, you don’t need this explained. The room that you saw O Creator (or should I say “that you’ll see”?), was more or less the same as the one I saw. When I first saw that room, I was astonished by how empty it was. When I asked what her secret to keeping tidy was, she replied, “I throw away anything that isn’t absolutely necessary”. That “absolutely” was no exaggeration. She explained that when winter came, she’d throw away her winter clothes. To be accurate, it seems she didn’t dispose of them exactly but instead her mother auctioned them off online.

“What do you do in your free time?”, I asked.

“Stuff like playing games or reading books.”, Mana replied.

But there weren’t any video games to be found anywhere. There were only a few books aside from textbooks on the desk. Incidentally, Mana didn’t keep her books standing, she placed them flat on her desk. That must’ve been a clue that she didn’t have so many books that she needed to arrange them upright.

The only sitting places in Mana’s room was a single chair. There was nothing even resembling a sitting cushion so I had to take one from another room. In that desolate room, rather than the Mana at school, the small Mana sitting on a big sitting cushion was much more Mana-like──perhaps that’s weird to say. It felt right for her to be there. To put it another way, it felt out of place for Mana to be in school.

Right then, back to the day of the incident.

I had brought over the manga that Mana wanted to read. Mana was reading those, and I was playing the game that Mana had just bought.

Once I got a bit bored of the game, I put aside the controller and lied back letting my body stretch as I looked at the sky. I remembered the question I had thought up on the way here, and as I thought about it again, it seemed even more brilliant to me. If it’s this question, even that Mana will be at a loss at how to answer. I was so sure that I’d be able to enact my revenge that day.

With the certainty that Mana would not be able to answer, I asked her,

“Hey Mana, why is the sky blue?”

Reference

(2) ^ The Napoleon of Notting Hill (JP Title: The Strange Tale of New Napoleon). Auth.: G. K. Chesterton, Trans.: Takahashi Kouya, Narita Kumiko, Pub.: Shunjusha Publishing Company, 1984.

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