Chapter 181: Is Just A Perhaps

"Well, your argument is logical. I understand. But don't worry, Kai Xin, Zheng Shuang, and Xia Sha were almost like a sister to me. I would not possibly do anything to harm them. Not in the present, not in the future." 

For Zheng Shuang and Kai Xin, who missed the big drama at the airport, Ruan Jing Tian's answer seems like a normal-sweet-speech Ruan Jing Tian would casually say whenever someone questioned their relationship. 

But for Xiao Ni and Xia Sha, in particular, Ruan Jing Tian's answer sounds like a hidden give-up declaration. 

Xia Sha was almost like a sister to me. 

He wanted to point out that he would not cross the lines in their relationship. 

He would not do anything to harm them, Sounds like Ruan Jing Tian did not want to ruin the friendship he got among them. 

Xiao Ni suddenly felt pity rising for the second lead male of this story. The end of her eyebrow dropped as a frown appears on her face. 

Xia Sha, on the other hand, could not return the intense gaze of Ruan Jing Tian. She lowered her head to hide the emotion that stirred inside her. 

Words could not explain how her heart aches when Ruan Jing Tian put on his fake 'I'm Alright' face. They had been best friends since what? Probably since she learned about algebra. How could she missed the sadness and pleading on his face. 

She felt hallow expanded in her chest for him, but it's not like she could lie to herself and acted as if she could return his feeling. She didn't want to give Ruan Jing Tian hope and trampled it to the ground the very next second. 

She knew how painful it was. 

She could not possibly do that to him. 

But she does not feel okay to acted as if nothing ever happen on that day. Xia Sha thinks that she is obligated to at least give him an answer and closure. At least, that is what she could want to get if she ever stands on Ruan Jing Tian's positions. 

So gathering her strength and courage, Xia Sha looked up and finally talk to Ruan Jing Tian that night. 

"Ruan Jing Tian, accompany me to the convenience store downstairs. I forgot to buy a beer." 

*** 

The night was chilly at the Capital, but it's not as cold as winter days. 

Xia Sha felt sober once the wind blew through her face. She looked at her sides and turned to her back, where Ruan Jing Tian is silently staring at her. 

Soft smiles appear on her face. The strong-stroke eyeliner she drew on her eyes suddenly turned into a half-crescent moon. 

"What are you doing walking behind my back? Are you planning to kill me when I'm not looking?" Xia Sha tried to broke a joke to ease the atmosphere between them. 

Ruan Jing Tian, of course- did not laugh. It such a terrible joke, but a grin broke on his handsome face. 

The hazy street lamp enlightened every trait of Ruan Jing Tian's face. His sharp eyes turned soft under the yellow light. The shadow cast on half of his face, making his nose bridge look higher than usual. But nothing could beat those bad-boy smiles he had on his face. 

"Is that even a joke?" He titled his head and squinted his eyes. 

"Could you appreciate my attempt to be nice?" Xia Sha rolls her eyes before a giggle escapes from her mouth. 

Xia Sha's friendly gesture and giggles somehow pushed Ruan Jing Tian to catch up with her light step. They walked side by side to the convenience store on the apartment block. 

"Attempt to be nice? Come on! That sounds terrifying than doomsdays," Ruan Jing Tian pretended as if he is afraid of Xia Sha. 

Xia Sha's lips twitched. She expanded her arm to hit Ruan Jing Tian's back. However, she stopped in the midway when she sees Ruan Jing Tian close his eyes. He seems prepared to accept her barbaric action. 

Xia Sha pressed her lips into a hard line before she retracted her arms. 

"Ruan Jing Tian, you are my best friend. I don't want to lose you. Ever," she suddenly said. 

Ruan Jing Tian opens his eyes and stands in his straight posture in slow motion. Naturally, he is the person who will choose to avert his gaze and walked away when he knew he is about to hear something he does want to hear. 

But there is something in Xia Sha's eyes that he could not resist. It slowly bewitched him and began to control his mind. He could not look away, not even for a second. 

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"Xia Sha-" Ruan Jing Tian tried to call her name in the hope she could stop whatever she wanted to say. 

What is this?

Is this the end of their friendship?

How could he be so stupid and ruin everything like this?

Ruan Jing Tian slowly regretted being so stubborn at that time. He blames his heart for being too stupid for thinking that he still stands a chance. 

He should have listened to Xia Sha and go away the moment she said she wanted to be left alone. 

It just his heart could not stand watching her broke into pieces. Or maybe it's the urge to make his move while Guan Xian is not around. He thinks that perhaps if he stays longer on her side and lets her lean on his shoulder. 

Perhaps he could finally stay on her heart when Guan Xian stays right now. 

Perhaps he doesn't have to watch in the sides ways again. 

Is just a perhaps. Because in reality, Ruan Jing Tian needs to face the consequences that he cannot bear from the moment he realized he might have fallen in love with this amazing girl, Xia Sha. 

"Ruan Jing Tian, I'm sor-"

"Stop it. I beg you. Just don't say anything," Ruan Jing Tian begged, his eyes got redded without his notice. 

"Jing Tian," Xia Sha whispered her name. Her melodious voice carries a tone of sadness. 

"If you want to tell me that you can't recuperate my feeling. That is alright. I'm standing with my words before. I would not even try to cross that line ever again. But please don't throw our friendship away. I don't think I could live on without-" Ruan Jing Tian could not finish his words when he felt a soft skin pressed against his lips. 

Xia Sha blinked and finally smiled when Ruan Jing Tian went quiet with his words. 

"Silly! What nonsense are you spouting? Who could throw you away?" Xia Sha furrowed her eyebrow and said with a fake angry voice. 

"You had too much imagination! I could never possibly break years of our friendship like it never matters to me. Do I look like that type of person?" Xia Sha titled her head. 

"No," Ruan Jing Tian answer almost immediately. 

"Hm, you know I'm not that type of person. However, I do think we need to talk and a closure. Ruan Jing Tian, you know that I could not return your feeling for me, and I apologize for that. I'm thankful for all the time we spend together and all of the care and love you poured into our friendship. However-" 

"You said you would not break off our relationship like it never mattered before!" Ruan Jing Tian cut Xia Sha out of panic when she began to apologize. 

Xia Sha clicked her tongue when Ruan Jing Tian's impatience disturbed her speech. 

"Wei! I was giving you an option to broke this relationship if it's too hard for you! However, you need to remember that you promised Kai Xin and her baby. And Kai Xin is my best friend. You could not avoid me forever. So, I was thinking, that-"

"There is no need for that! I would not take that option!" Ruan Jing Tian cut off Xia Sha for the second time because he is anxious this time. 

Xia Sha sighed and looked at Ruan Jing Tian with an annoyed gaze. 

"If you had made your decision, why haven't you hug me yet? I am your best friend!" Xia Sha frowned and look at Ruan Jing Tian as if he is a disappointment. 

Ruan Jing Tian could not explain how his heartbeat at the moment. He does not understand the feeling that bursts inside his body. All he knew is that he felt happiness once he pulled her under his embrace. 

He is beyond grateful that he did not lose their friendship because of his stupidity! 

"Gosh! I thought I am going to lose my best friend," Xia Sha murmured in between their embrace, letting out the heavy burden she carried inside. 

Ruan Jing Tian is about to reply that she is being overconfident because he would always cling to her best friend even when she does not want him anymore. But the word just stuck on his throat when he saw a tall figure across his position. 

Pushing Xia Sha away from his chest, he gradually informed Xia Sha. 

"Xia Sha, that is-"

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