Chapter 225: You Aren't Emotional. You Are Just Overthinking

Xia Sha never knew her company building's rooftop would be 'their' place. She finds herself and Guan Xian keep getting back here as she rests her head on his shoulder. They share no words between them, just a calm and peaceful home of silence for a long time.

Xia Sha glance at Guan Xian's defined jaw, only to find him squinting his eyes to the sun. Xia Sha raised her eyebrow and followed his antic, only to hurt her eyes. She closed her eyelid and slipped behind his neck, finding comfort as she clings to him. 

Guan Xian's lips formed a faint smile as he suddenly lowered his gaze to Xia Sha. 

"Feeling better?" he whispers in a coaxing tone. Soft enough to tug something sweet inside Xia Sha's heart. 

"Hmm," Xia Sha mumbles in a disheartened tone. She didn't want to move from her comfortable position, clinging to Guan Xian like a baby koala. 

Guan Xian never knew Xia Sha could be this clingy. In a sort of masochistic way, he enjoys Xia Sha's attachment to him. He felt like Xia Sha is treating him like a giant teddy bear right now. 

"Want to talk about it?" he asked gently, placing his hand on Xia Sha's back and soothe her like a little kid. 

"Maybe? I don't understand. I just felt emotional lately. It drained me," Xia Sha sounds as what she claims, tired. She blinked in slow motion, smelling the fresh mint aroma from Guan Xian's suit. 

"Are you sure it's your emotion and not me?" A hint of playfulness colored Guan Xian's voice. The two of them broke into laughter when Xia Sha hit Guan Xian's back passionately. 

"This is not the time to laugh at your lewd question!" Xia Sha snaped in between her laughter. 

"You laugh anyway, you silly!" Guan Xian criticized Xia Sha as he wrinkles his nose.

A smile lingers on both of they face as they looked at each other. Xia Sha felt her sense of humor is getting dry the more she stays with Guan Xian. She would never understand how Guan Xian's brain works, but he keeps amuse her every time he talks. 

Suddenly Xia Sha wonders what will happen to her if their future child inherits Guan Xian's traits and personalities?! She could imagine a little daughter with Guan Xian's magnetic black-brown eyes smiling warmly to her as she said something that makes Xia Sha suffer a headache.

If those days come to her, Xia Sha knew she would be blessed and cursed at the same time. 

"What makes you smile so wide? Is that how you look when you think about me? If it's not, I'll get jealous," Guan Xian said with dimples indent on his cheek. His eyes reflecting hope as Xia Sha blinked her eyes and squinted her eyes upon him. 

"You wish!" Xia Sha rolls out her tongue. 

Guan Xian chuckles at her when Xia Sha suddenly does some stretching and lets the sun kiss her face. She looks more lively as she stood in front of Guan Xian, who sits on a hard ceramic chair. 

"Are you disappointed or relieved that it's only a fake alarm?" Xia Sha tilted her head. 

There is a change on the rooftops lately. The used to be space now filled with a vertical garden filled with rose. Guan Xian notices this change before. However, when Xia Sha stood among the roses, something stirred his heart. Her exceptionally red lips stood out among the roses petal in full bloom. Guan Xian couldn't move his gaze away from her face. 

"Would you get angry at me if I said I don't felt any of those feeling?" Guan Xian asked was answered by Xia Sha's silence and confused face. He took her delicate hand kissed Xia Sha's finger gently. 

"Am I Disappointed? Am I relieved? Why should I felt that way? I'm happy today with you, wasn't that's the only thing that matters?"

"But you could be happier if you fulfilled your expectation," Xia Sha mumbles, averting her gaze as she loses the courage to look at Guan Xian. 

Guan Xian touched her chin and made Xia Sha look back at his eyes. Smiles never leave his face as he suddenly knocks Xia Sha's porcelain-like forehead. 

"You aren't emotional. You are just overthinking. Take a deep breath and un-attach all your burdens. Try to imagine yourself in both conditions, and ask yourself, what do you want?" 

Try to drop all her burdens away, what she wants? 

Xia Sha bites her lower lips and looks at her reflection on her shiny heels. She thought it would be a difficult question to answer. It turns out she had always known the answer from the start. 

"I don't want Kai Xin to suffer because of me. I don't want anyone I love to get hurt. I- I- I don't want things that happen to Kai Xin to happen to me. That is why I felt so anxious when, when things happen."

Xia Sha felt a lump of disgusting thoughts come out of her after she finishes her sentence. But then, the hollow it left started to get filled with guilt and shame. Her lashes are quivering as she lowered her gaze and muttered out, "I'm so selfish, right?" 

"No one ever prays for bad luck. But there is too much psycho wandering around these days. Don't be so hard at yourself, can you?" 

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"But part of the calamity happens because of me. I triggered all the dominoes to fall in places. I pressed the red bottom," Xia Sha cried out. 

She had a faint ache in her heart as if something is chasing her all along. And she had started to run out of breath. 

After hearing Xia Sha's words, he stared at her intensely before he said," But you are also one saving grace for your parents, your family, your friends, and for me." 

Xia Sha's orbs turned pensive before her tense shoulder dropped. She let loose and let Guan Xian took her hand and pulled her into his side. He locked Xia Sha's leg with his thighs as he looked up at her. 

"You've done great. Let it go. For once, don't live for your problem. Don't live for your family. Don't live for anyone but yourself. Stop staying in that grey area-"

BRAK!

Guan Xian hasn't finished his sentence when they hear someone open the door to the rooftops. A man wearing thick glasses look awkward as he tried to close the door as soon as his eyes met Guan Xian's. 

"S-Sorry, We didn't mean to bother. Please continue," the man stammered in nervousness when he steals a glance at Xia Sha. He got goosebumps after he closed the door and turn to his colleague.

"Why did you close the door again? Who's there?" 

"I don't think we could have lunch on rooftops today. Let's just ate at the cafeteria," the man rushed his colleague, who looks at him with a confused face. 

"Huh? what?" 

The man did not even dare to stay another minute longer on the rooftop. He rushes to the lift without bothering his friends. 

Guan Xian raised his eyebrow upon watching how scared the man look. He turned to Xia Sha and chuckles, "You and your thorny attitude."

Xia Sha scoffed when Guan Xian shook his head at her. 

"Let's go downstairs. I still need to go to work," Xia Sha said after wiggling her legs to escape from Guan Xian's tight. 

"As if," Guan Xian lazily let Xia Sha go and followed her from behind. 

He stayed in Xia Sha's office for another two hours before Tang Yu Bin urges him to come back to the office for a meeting. He looks reluctant as a frown stayed on his face for a long time. Xia Sha had to coax and hurry him to walk out of her office with kisses. 

But before he completely goes, Xia Sha tugs his sleeve and smiles brightly at him. Guan Xian raised his eyebrow and wait for her to deliver her words. 

"What?" he asked.

Xia Sha tiptoes on her toes and gives him a peck on his cheek as she said, "Thank you for your enlightenment. I've decided to let go and live my life for now." 

Guan Xian's eyes filled with gentleness as he raised his head and ruffled Xia Sha's head, "As expected from my smart baby girl." 

Xia Sha blushed as she nods her head and bid her goodbye to Guan Xian. She felt like a blossoming flower as she walks to her desk and calls Han Li through the office phone. 

"Han Li, can you help me send this document to Tang Yu Bin? Tell him it's top priorities for his boss," Xia Sha grinned as she passed the document to Han Li. 

"Of course, that's an easy case. I'll hang out with Tang Yu Bin tonight," Han Li murmured as he takes care of the file. 

Xia Sha had long accepted that his assistant slowly moves side to Guan Xian. She shook her head as she stood up and prepare to head out from the office. Han Li look confused as he asked, "Boss, don't you have a meeting with Mr.Xiao after this?" 

"Ah? Really? Can you cancel it? I have something more important I should do," Xia Sha took her handbag and looked at her reflection in the mirror. 

She walks away as soon as she looks decent. Leaving Han Li stunned by himself at the office. 

What just happen? Does Miss Xia forget her meeting and ditch from work? Is he still lives on the earth, or has he travel to another parallel?!

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