Chapter 9: 2.3

Chapter 2: Great things are not done by impulse, but a series of small things brought together.

 

Part 3

 

 

I had thought of showing Senpai around the store since this was her first time here. However, as we entered the store, I was drawn in by a watercolor painting masterpieces collection and leafed through its pages, entranced, forgetting my original objective. I had never been interested in watercolors because the materials and techniques were different from those of oil painting I specialized in. But as I flipped through the pages, the thought of trying watercolor out didn’t seem so bad. The album was considerably heavy to carry back to Maimori, but I decided to buy it anyway. I then searched for Senpai. She appeared to me having a hard time choosing between two collections by Kawabe-sensei, her eyes darting from one to the other.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Hmm… I was wondering which to buy. But the more I think about it, the more troubled I become. Only if Yuri’s painting I saw in elementary school was in one of these, then I would certainly buy it without doubt. After all, my favorite painter is no one other than Yuri.”

 

For one day, I tried to forget about Yuri’s existence, to enjoy the exhibit without this bitterness spoiling it. Yet, why must I be reminded of how amazing her paintings were, paintings drawn by an elementary schooler that could change lives. In front of that spectacular talent, how do I hide my envy?

 

“That girl was a genius, a genius that doesn’t draw,” my voice trembled, “No… that refuses to draw. I hate it when you say that someone like her is even better than Kawabe-sensei who paints for living, or me who earnestly hone my skills every day.”

 

It was always the same. When I lashed out in resentment, it only sounded pathetic and regretful afterwards. Senpai, who bathed in the limelight and planned to enter the entertainment industry in Tokyo even with her country background, was undoubtedly someone from “that side”. She couldn’t understand my petty struggle, she would just snicker at me. 

 

“People who work so diligently that they could drown in their own blood don’t achieve their dreams. They just don’t. If every effort is rewarded, then no one would be crying,” I snorted.

 

Senpai said nothing back, but of course, what was there to say? That was the truth. That was precisely… That was precisely why I was struggling. That was why it was painful. 

 

“But… that kind of hardworking person isn’t bad, at least to me.”

 

I looked up, struck by her words, and noticed her gentle grip on my fingertips. There was no man whose heart didn’t skip a beat when his hand was entwined with the long and slender fingers of such a beautiful person.

 

“N-no, I wasn’t sulking. Stop treating me like a child.” My face might have reddened, or perhaps not, there was no way I would know.

 

“I’m not trying to comfort you either. I’m just doing it because I want to.”

 

Our eyes met for a long time. I had no idea what Senpai was thinking nor her intentions. However, I wasn’t here to do this with her. 

 

Remembering about that shy girl who would always reside in my heart, I gently withdrew my hands from hers. Senpai didn’t look displeased, but rather, she stared at me and asked.

 

“You were born and raised in Maimori? Yuri too?”

 

“Yes, that’s right. Yuri and I have been together since nursery school, and I’m sick of her. More than half of my youth is wasted on taking care of her.”

 

“Haha,” she smiled, “ that sounds like a lot of work. I’m going to Tokyo right after I graduate from high school, but how about you two?”

 

“I’m aiming for an art college in Tokyo too, but Yuri… I wonder what she’s going to do. I don’t think she can survive without me, but then I also feel like she would be just fine living alone on a deserted island…” 

 

‘I think she just can’t survive in the society,’ was what I was going to say when–

 

“By ‘Yuri’, do you mean Kashiwazaki Yuri-san?” 

 

Surprised by a low voice that could never be Senpai’s, I spun. There, a lanky man in black jacket was standing. Judging by how his hair was streaked by patches of gray, his age was probably a little over his fifties. No, not just any old man, I had seen him before. I had just seen him on a poster in front of the store, the artist hosting this very exhibition.

 

I asked in confidence, yet my voice came out in a shrill.

 

“You are…S-Shouhei Kawabe-sensei,… aren’t you!?”

 

“Oh, I’m honored. Hmm.” His eyes found the album in Senpai’s hands. “I would be very happy if you buy it. There’s not much of it in circulation, a rare collection, so to speak. I’ll also sign it for you.” With that, he bent down to sign.

 

I felt defiant at the balant marketing, or maybe at this person in general, he somehow had the aura that made me feel so.

 

“Eh? W-wow!? Why are you here?” Senpai cried out.

 

“Why? It’s my exhibition in my hometown, you know? Today is the last day too, why wouldn’t I come to see how things are going? Now, why don’t you answer my question?”

 

If I recall, a few moments ago, he mentioned a familiar name.

 

“Y-you know her, Kashiwazaki Yuri?” I hesitated

 

“Oh, yes, of course. I mean, I am, you know, a fan of hers.” he professed.

 

Bombshell dropped, stupefied, my eyes met with Senpai.

 

“I was one of the judges for a drawing contest she entered in her eighth grade summer break. I was blown away, to admit. ‘It was not something that a teenager could draw; there was definitely a ghostwriter drawing for her.’ was what I thought.”

 

No matter how vexing it was, that piece was imprinted into my mind too. Finally persuaded to draw by the offered highschool recommendation, she spent one remaining week of the summer break painting. Probably using the theory of how something familiar tended to be drawn faster, she drew a self portrait. From the singular strand of hair to the texture of skin, every element was impeccably captured by her realistic painting technique.

 

The more time she spent, the more intricate the expression became. That was a painting that she spent one week of her summer break painting. No matter how hard she could have concentrated on the work, anyone would have a hard time believing that it was done in one week.

 

“I hadn’t been the judge the next year, but when I heard that she submitted another work, I just had to go. And when I saw it, a sigh escaped my lips… Ah, of course I sighed in admiration. It was magnificent. Though it was drawn in a completely different style, it was breathtaking all the same,” he admired, “With the unlimited potential she possesses, I can’t help but have high hopes for her.”

 

I couldn’t believe that even Shouhei Kawabe held her in such high esteem. This time, the second painting Kawabe-sensei mentione, was an abstract creature from the depths of the sea. Overflowing with uniqueness and individuality, Yuri’s drawing received tons of support and won for two consecutive years in a record breaking landslide. 

 

“Do you know the English word for genius?” asked Kawabe-sensei, fixing his gaze on me.

[TN:Original Japanese being “天才”, meaning prodigy/genius/talented]

 

“‘Genius’, right?”

 

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“Is that so? Then what about talent?”

[TN:Original Japanese being “才能”, meaning talent/ability]

 

“‘Talent’, I think…” I faltered.

 

‘Talent’, another word I hated, yet something yearned for more than anything. 

 

I was not that good at English, but I could understand that many words. However, Kawabe-sensei chortled as if I had given the wrong answer.

 

“I guess you could say that,” he said, “but I prefer the other word: ‘gift’. In other words, talent can be seen as a gift from god.”

 

“So you are saying that our skills are decided even before birth? No matter how much effort ordinary people put in, there’s no way to beat them?”

 

I could already imagine how Kawabe-sensei would react to my insolent remark. Still, from my point of view, these ‘talented people’ deserved to be snapped at.

 

“Well, how would I know? But there is a saying that a genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent effort. That is why I want to set Kashiwazaki-san in the right environment and guide her to the right path.” agreed Sensei.

 

Using that quote, Kawabe sensei skillfully evaded my question. With a fluid movement, he signed the album in his hands.

 

“Let alone plan about her future, I heard that she hasn’t even picked up her paintbrush, even though it’s her second year of high school already. From my speculation, I’d say her lack of motivation is due to a lack of stimulation,” he noted.

 

“…How did you know that Yuri hasn’t been painting?”

 

“Don’t look at me like that. There’s nothing sketchy about this. I am by no means a stalker of Kashiwazaki-san. I just asked Hiiragi-san about her career path a while ago. I heard that she does not seem to have any intention of going to an art college nor studying abroad. I know I am a complete stranger to her, but as someone who paints for living, and an old man who wants to see a bright future of the Japanese art world, I’m concerned about her future.”

 

Suppressing the urge to say ‘Getting out of your way to ask Hiiragi-sensei about Yuri, that’s quite stalkerish in itself’, I mulled over the fact that someone like Kawabe-sensei cared that much about a single highschool girl. Yuri, just how amazing could you be?

 

“I also asked the museum director to mail her tickets for the exhibition. Seems like she couldn’t come.” He shook his head. “I also mailed her my business card along with the tickets. Could you tell her that I am waiting to hear from her anytime and will spare no effort to help her with anything.”

 

With his hand placed on my shoulder, on his face a reassuring smile, I was even more offended.

 

“I’m not your messenger boy,” I growled, “I’m Komiya Sousuke and one day, I’ll be a painter.”

 

Kawabe-sensei’s expression didn’t falter. Just like that, he went to another room with his staff. 

 

With the album signed, Senpai had no choice but to buy it. After Senpai finished her purchase, we left the store.

 

“I knew it. It’s not just me, Yuri’s paintings are just that great, right?” marveled Senpai. All the while, she had been as silent as a Jizo statue. 

[TN: Jizo statues are real cuteeee… what a useless TN]

 

“Yeah… Even Kawabe-sensei, who sees lots of artwork, had taken a shine to her… Just like what you experienced, her paintings capture hearts,” I agreed.

 

Perhaps it was the aftereffect of Kawabe-sensei’s admiration that compelled me to reveal my honest feelings. I found myself praising her too.

 

“Pencils, paintbrushes, crayon, you name it… whatever you give her, what she returns are masterpieces. Bold yet delicate, with a sense of motion that seems to leap out from the canvas any moment…I’m charmed by her paintings. The first time I saw her painting… I was awestruck… It was as if my fate had been sealed…Uh, don’t tell her about this, okay?”

 

But that didn’t mean I approve of how she rested on her laurels and refused to make further effort. 

 

Oblivious of my dilemma, Senpai whispered in admiration, “You sure like Yuri al lot.”

 

“There’s no way. Never once have I had any romantic feelings for her.”

 

“Really? But you have an admiration sort of affection for her talent, don’t you?”

 

“Not that too! Definitely not!” I snapped.

 

Reflexively, I had aggressively dismissed like how I would do when Yuri teased. That I admired her skill as a painter– was a fact that I myself never wanted to admit.

 

Perhaps it was because I had snapped at her, Senpai’s eyes widened in surprise. Shoot. That was unnecessary, it would only make her even more suspicious about our relationship. I needed to be calm… but once riled up, emotions could not easily settle down. 

 

“S-sorry I snapped! It’s not that you had offended me, it’s more of a habit! I just can’t help it!” Even my apology sounded forceful. 

 

“You don’t have to apologize…So, what are we going to do next?”

 

I checked my watch. Despite it being winter, there was still plenty of time left before sunset.

 

According to my plans, I was to invite Senpai for dinner, discuss the impressions of the paintings we saw and decide on which direction to proceed for the Kouji Exhibition. If I could start working on it by tomorrow then that would be a plus.

 

“Well…” I hesitated, “You are quite busy, right? Then let’s go back to Maimori.”

 

But with that awkward exchange with Kawabe-sensei, how he had completely seen through my jealousy towards Yuri, I was in no mood to carry out the plan.

 

Unable to shake off the black haze in my chest, I parted with Senpai after we got back to Maimori. Legarthicly, I dragged myself home, and using my last ounce of strength, I heaved myself onto the bed. Was it immediately after, or was it a while, I didn’t know, but noticing my phone vibrating, I checked the message. 

 

[Art museum? How luckyyy. I want to go there too! Did you have fun?]

 

A message came from Utako. It was an innocent question, but it hit where it hurted. I clicked and the screen turned black. I closed my eyes.

 

I wondered if Yuri was having a good time doing stupid things and laughing like a fool while I toiled and suffered.

 

I couldn’t help it, but just the thought of her irked me. Just what kind of childhood friend I was…?

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