Chapter 3: 03: His Sweetness, King Kandy

You whip your head around in utter shock. 

        "Joy?? You never told me the mayor was a prince!" Your exasperated face seems to amuse both Twix and Hershe, meanwhile Min does the mannequin challenge and Joy looks at you with a sheepish smile.

        "My apologies my lady..! I thought the mayor informed you already..." Her eyes twinkle as she presses her index fingers together. Normally, you would've cringed whenever any TikTok girl did that, but Joy was so adorable that you could make an exception. 

        "Wait wait, so your actual title is Prince Twix? I kinda like Mayor Twix better though..." you look back at him.

        "Indeed," his golden eyes curve up in delight. "But you're free to call me whatever you desire, Miss [Name]."

You can tell everyone around you was amused, but now the puzzle pieces were finally falling in their places. So that was why he had such a fancy carriage and a ginormous mansion! 

Besides your dumbass realization, you also acknowledge that you're friends(?) with royalty! It might've been some mysterious candy prince, but you're still gonna flex to your hopefully existent friends once you get back to Earth. 

Then you make a connection.

If Mayor-Prince Twix was actually related to King Kandy, was Queen Frosty-the-snowman his mom? 

Evil stepmothers were always a thing in stories, but you hadn't really heard of evil mothers. You were curious in knowing his backstory but that could wait. Not gonna lie, this world was pretty fun but you were getting a little sick of it (and Min). Your first priority was still getting back to Earth in one piece. 

        "Wait so, I can actually meet the king in-person, right now?!" you exclaim, surprising Joy next to you. Twix chuckles at your excitement.

        "That's correct. The reason why I came back before sundown is because I was sent back by my father. He wants to meet you, Miss [Name]."

You clasp one of Joy's hands out of the blue, making her blush and also aggravating a white-haired male behind you. Thank god for her convincing you to change out of your sesame street PJs! If you went to see the king in those, you'd probably be sent back to the dungeon. 

        "'ight then. Lets skedaddle." 

---

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        "Why exactly did you join us?" Min raises an eyebrow while looking at the librarian. "This carriage may be big, but it's barely able to fit five people." 

        "Meeting Miss [Name] has changed me. The moment I saw her, I felt an instant connection." Hershe glances at you with his literal chocolate eyes. "Therefore, I must follow the lady of my dreams." 

        "Dude, we've known each other for ten minutes?" You ask, still holding onto Joy's hand. You were planning on letting go but she surprisingly has a tight grip. You don't mind though, pissing off Min and holding hands with a pretty lady was a win-win.

        "Fate operates separately from time, my dear." Hershe's silky, smooth voice makes his fancy impression almost believable. He looks out the carriage window while leaning against his palm. Twix, who's next to him, sighs.

        "We all know you were just bored from working your librarian shift, Hershe. You don't have to make outrageous excuses just to come with us." For the first time, you hear a hint of annoyance in the usually placid mayor. Joy suddenly squeezes your hand.

        "What I said weren't lies though. I’m dying to get to know Miss [Name] over there. A human arriving in Candy Land doesn't happen everyday, you guys are so boring~" Hershe's chocolate eyes dart over to yours. You quickly glance away, in hopes he didn't notice your staring. Unfortunately he does. Though before the librarian can tease you for it, your maid speaks up.

        "Master Hershe, with all respect, I agree with the mayor's words. In addition, it's a crime punishable by death to lie to royalty. Also, what if other customers come in and find you missing?" she frowns.

        "That won't be an issue, Miss Joy." He smirks and with a wave of his hand, the image of him working at the library appears like in a crystal ball. Except this time it was in thin air. "I've created an illusion of me that can perfectly communicate with others. The only flaw is that it can't interact with physical objects." 

Twix and Joy both sigh at the same time while Min vibes, eating a bag of gummy bears. You didn't know where he got it, but you hoped there weren't any humanized gummy bears in town.

But speaking of royalty, the inside of the carriage was way more impressive than the outside. And despite what Min said, the carriage could easily fit more than five people. Heck, there was even a soda dispenser.

However, the rowdy gang you were with right now entertained you more than any soda dispenser could. Not gonna lie, you had to stifle more laughs than you could count since getting into the carriage. Mostly because you didn't want to get Hershe the satisfaction of you having laughed at his jokes. 

Though despite the occasional bickering, the ride to Candy Castle was pretty tranquil. You even took a quick nap before getting jolted awake because the carriage rode over some gumdrops. Hershe and Min were obviously amused by your  startled reaction. 

---

Eventually, you and the rest of the candy squad arrive in front of the palace. Since the carriage was covered from head to toe in priceless gems, the guards take once look before opening the gate. Rich privilege. 

Twix and Joy immediately push each of the carriage's doors open and step out. 

        "Miss [Name], take my-" 

        "Here my lady!" Joy accidentally interrupts the mayor, holding out her hand for you before he could. You glance from side to side, trying your best to ignore Twix to not make it awkward.

        "Err, thanks Joy!" 

        "Of course!"

Hershe snickers at the sight but immediately stops after Min glares at him. Talk about a Twix simp.

You can understand though, Twix was the superior candy bar after all.

---

Tipping the driver a few gold coins for dealing with the rowdy crowd, Twix takes the lead and everyone follows. You eye everything in absolute awe. Compared to the candy palace, Twix's mansion was like a dog house. You literally can't believe how huge it was.

And how much tax money they must've wasted from building it. 

        "I've only ever seen the King once in-person and that was from a distance away!" Joy chirps, "Forgive me if it's impudent, but I'm so excited to step foot in the castle and greet him!" 

        "You might be let down, Miss Joy." Twix gently cuts in. "My father...still hasn't recovered. It's the reason why I signed up to be mayor of Candy Land. He could no longer properly perform his duties as king, so I had to help." 

Your brows knit from learning this info.  Using up all your brainpower from your two brain cells, you remember Twix mentioning his father's health deteriorating after his mother left. Putting the pieces together, your best guess was that Queen Frost, Twix's mom, betrayed the candy land residents and was soon exiled. After losing his wife, King Kandy fell ill and thus was no longer able to properly rule.

What could've caused her to leave though? For such a bright and innocent-looking place that came straight out of a child's imagination, there was actual drama here?

        "...For a war that took place over ten years ago, the after effects sure are-" Hershe pauses "--miserable."

In a split second, the atmosphere sours.

Joy's cheerful expression darkens, Twix is lost in thought, Hershe's face becomes unreadable, and even the usually indifferent Min has a look of pain on his face.

You can only walk in silence and awkwardness, having no clue what the librarian was even talking about. You figure speaking up would only make it worse.

Thankfully, Twix breaks the silence by turning to you with a small smile. "Ah, that's right Miss [Name]. I've barely told you anything about Candy Land. My apologies." He trails off. "Some of my past...is a tad difficult to talk about. However, if you have any questions about it after our audience with the king, I'll try my best to answer."

Even though the whole situation you were in was the definition of a fever dream, you can't help but feel sympathy for the kind mayor who treated you with nothing but respect all this time.

---

Eventually, you and the rest of the gang arrive not at the throne room, but instead in front of a different door; the king's bedchambers. 

        "Everyone, please stay outside while [Name] and I speak to my father." Twix glances at Min, Hershe, and Joy. "It's not that our conversation is private or anything, but I don't want father to be overwhelmed by the sudden crowd." 

They all give their respective approvals to the mayor's words. Joy curtsies, Min nods, and Hershe smiles. You look back once last time before following Twix into the king's bedroom.

---

        "...My son, is that you?" a hoarse voice questions. You're standing in front of the door, peering at the large wooden bed that's covered by a thin curtain. Your eyes faintly make out a laying figure on the bed. The room smells like a mix of bubblegum and cotton candy.

        "Yes father. I've come back with Miss [Name] as well.” Twix steps to the side and gestures you to come forth. Feeling a tad awkward, you walk up and immediately lower your head in respect.

        "Greetings, Your, er, Sweetness??" you take a guess at what honorifics they use for candy royalty. Luckily, Twix nor King Kandy corrects you. If they did, your brain would never allow you to live it down. "My name is [Name]. I woke up inside of Candy Land yesterday with amnesia. Um, I was hoping you would know how to get me back to my homeland, Earth." Your voice squeaks during the last part but Twix pats you on the back. 

        "My son-" the king coughs before raising a shaking hand. "-could you please come closer and remove the curtain...? I would like to see my visitors' faces." Twix's eyes widen. 

        "Are you sure father?"

        "Yes." 

        Hesitating for a moment, he reaches to pull it back.

And once he does, you catch a glimpse of the bedridden, senile king. Your heart aches with empathy at the sight. 

        "He....hello." You bow.

Your pictured image of what King Kandy couldn't be further from the truth. Instead of a dark brown, his hair and moustache was a dull pink. Twix must've gotten his genes from his mother then.

King Kandy didn't have many wrinkles but it was clear he was exhausted. Possibly the most tired man in the world. However, once his chocolate eyes met yours, you swore you could see light in them again. 

        "I see humans don't look that different to us candy people." He laughs hoarsely.

Twix smiles faintly and crouches down to his side, clasping his hand over the king's.

        "Father, how's your condition?" his earnest eyes focus at one point on the blanket, the spot where King Kandy's heart would be. You take note of that little detail. "...Is your heart any better today?"

With a gentle shake of his head, King Kandy breaks eye contact with his son. Even though it's a small gesture, you can see Twix deflate.

        "I see." his eyes look to you for a moment and then back at the king. "But Miss [Name] is here now! I saw light in your eyes when I mentioned her, father. I know I did. Please. . ." he pauses. ". . is there anyway we can help?" 

King Kandy is silent for a moment until he ultimately speaks:

        "...Maybe, my son." 

Twix's eyes dart up in surprise and sparkle. "Please father...! Tell us! What do we need to do to improve your condition?"

        "Twix. I ask that you don't be too surprised when you hear this, but I might know of a way to cure your mother's heart." 

All of a sudden, Twix freezes. You're not sure what's entirely happening but at the moment you can tell Twix is dealing with every emotion in the book. Relief, joy, anger, surprise, - his face shifts expressions several times before landing on one of disbelief.

        "H....how?” his voice croaks. “Wha- why didn't you tell me until now?" 

        "Because one of the conditions is..." King Kandy makes eye contact with you. "...a human. [Name], you're the first one here in decades. My last glimpse of one when was I was a little boy. I wish I could express how happy I am to see you, but that would be rude of me to do so. After all, you're trying to get back to your world aren't you?" 

Though you've only known this man for about ten minutes, his words instantly soothe your soul - as if everything's going to be okay.

        "Haha..." You scratch your cheek. "erm, Your Sweetness, how can I help you? The situation sounds, uh, pretty dire." Though you don't have the slightest clue of what's happening, you pull out all the fancy words in your vocabulary in order to not sound like an idiot.

        "While I long to see my wife again, I suspect carrying out this plan would be..." his eyes dim, "suicide. As a father, I will not sacrifice my son just to bring back the Queen." 

Your eyes widen. There's an uncomfortable silence in the air for a moment, and then Twix breaks it like a candy bar.

        "While that may be true, please tell us father!" his eyes become glossier than they were before, "You know what I long for more than anything is to see you healthy and full of life again. Bringing mother back will heal your cracked heart, I'm sure of it." You suddenly feel the urge to turn the door knob and skedaddle out. This convo was seeming a little too private for a random outsider such as you.

        "...Very well." King Kandy's eyes soften. "But you must promise me you'll come back safe and sound, my son.” 

        "I promise."

His chocolate eyes dart to you, "and Twix, you must protect [Name] as well."

The mayor's eyes come in contact with yours and he gives you probably the sweetest smile in existence. 

        "Of course."

In a normal situation you’d be melting like a chocolate bar from that gesture, but at the moment, you only had questions you wanted to ask: like why exactly would Twix need to protect you? and where would you be going?

        ”Your Sweetness, excuse the interruption, but could you tell me what’s going on here?” you ask with a determined stare. You were going to do everything in your power to get back home, and while you felt bad for these candy people, your #1 priority was returning to Earth, not reuniting a broken family. “While I know this is a dire situation for you, my goal is to get back to my original world…I don’t want to risk my life and die before achieving that. If I'm able to get back home, please tell me how to do so.”

        “Miss [Name]-” Twix starts, surprised from your words. King Kandy closes his eyes for a brief moment.

        ”…I understand what you’re saying, child. You’re an outsider brought to this world without any explanation. Forgive me for getting ahead of myself, I owe you a proper explanation.” The king sighs. “You might want to sit down, since this story is quite lengthy.”

        ”Uh sure-!” you gently plop yourself down near the end of his bed, careful not to squish his toes or anything. Clearing his throat, King Kandy begins recounting what happened twelve years ago: 

You are reading story Candy Land | Various! Yandere x Fem! Reader at novel35.com

        “Over a decade ago, my wife, Queen Hazel, was pushed into Snowflake Lake, a lake notorious for being any candy’s worst nightmare. If you spent just five minutes in the water, your blood would be frozen solid - paralyzing you. Then you would sink deeper and deeper ‘til eventually, your body would crack into candy pieces from the pressure.”

You try to imagine that happening to Min, the person(?) you dislike the most right now. While you do feel a hint of satisfaction from it, you admit it's also a pretty gnarly sight.

        ”My wife…she emerged after three minutes and immediately collapsed afterwards. She would enter a three month coma, and when she awoke, her brown hair turned an icy blue, golden eyes transformed into a stormy sea, and. . .her heart covered in ice.” A miserable expression envelops King Kandy's face. Tears roll down his cheeks and his lips quiver. The mayor places a hand and gently rubs his back.

You feel like an evil bitch. Mostly because you indirectly made an old man cry and for some reason, this story reminded you of Frozen. Biting on your lip to contain any laughs, your brows furrow as you force yourself to stay silent and await the rest of the story.

        ”It’s alright father, I’ll continue on.” Twix wipes away the king’s tears and looks up at you with an unreadable expression. “At first we were overjoyed that mother was awake. We couldn’t care less if she looked different…but mother wasn’t herself anymore. While I wasn't treated that coldly, father's case was an exception. She was paranoid, verbally abusive, and quick to anger when talking to him, convinced he would replace her with a new wife soon as she was 'defective'." He pauses, "Mother used to be a kind, eloquent, and a responsible queen, but now she'd shut herself in her room. This went on for over two years.”

You place a hand on Twix’s shoulder, hoping to comfort him since you didn't know what to say. Emotional support was never your strong point.

He gives you a weak smile and opens his mouth again. “It didn’t help that the people would gossip about her all the time. Most were convinced she was no longer fit to rule, while a small minority stayed loyal to the queen.”

        “I see. But, um, what was the war Hershe mentioned while we were walking? He said it happened like a decade ago?” You had that question on your mind for a while and it felt good to finally ask it.

        “Don’t worry Miss [Name], I’ll get to that soon.” Twix gently says. “One day, Queen Hazel called a meeting in secret. She had successfully snuck out and with those still loyal to her, she conspired a plan one month from now to kill my father and take over the throne.”

Your eyes almost bulge out from shock.

What the hell. Falling in a cold asf lake for three minutes made her want to commit murder two years later?

You couldn’t believe your ears, mostly because imagining a murder happen in this sunshine, rainbows, and puppies land was extremely hard to picture. You had barely grasped the fact that there were living, breathing, and talking humanized candies, now you had to accept there was lore? Every second that ticked by made it increasingly obvious that you wouldn’t get home that easily.

        ”Holy--but wait, there’s no way she could’ve succeeded anyways. Queen Hazel only had a small amount of people on her side, how did she expect to storm the castle just with that?”

While you and the gang were walking through the palace, you spotted an abundant amount of guards, most of them holding actual guns while stationed in front of the king’s bedroom. Hell would’ve froze over before Queen Hazel could take out all of them. 

But Twix’s sad expression tells you all you need to know.

        "The day my mother woke up from her coma, she hid something from us. Something so, unexpected, that even the elder magicians of Candy Land were in shock."

        ”What was it?”

        "That she was able to use ice magic.” 

You bite your lip so hard that you taste blood. An image of Elsa being King Kandy’s wife appears for a split second in your head. Not now, [Name]. Don’t laugh unless you want to see Mickey Mouse again.

        ”Miss [Name] are you alright…?” Twix stares in shock. King Kandy, who was closing his eyes this entire time, opens them and looks directly at you.

        “Um haha, don’t worry about it! My lips were just so chapped that they started to bleed…y’know?” your horrendous excuse makes Twix look at you with a puzzled expression. “Anyways, umm your mother was able to use uh, ice magic?” you honestly felt terrible for almost laughing at a time like this. Looks like losing your memories made you into a bastard. 

        “...Yes. Apparently the lake had given her powers. In Candy Land, whether or not you have magic is determined the moment you're born, which is why my wife being an exception was a shock to everyone." King Kandy says.

        "Do you have magic then, Mayor-Prince Twix?" 

        "!" the caramel-scented man holds a gloved hand up to his mouth, trying to hold back his chuckle. "...Miss [Name], I know I said you could call me anything but..." you sheepishly grin, happy to have cheered him up a little.

        "Though to answer your question, I do. I was born with rare light magic, however it's not very strong."

Your eyes sparkle upon hearing this info. Wow. First Twix was a mayor and a prince, and now he has some rare type of magic? Talk about simp-worthy. You weren't thirsty enough to fall in love with a humanized chocolate bar though.

        "That's so cool!" he smiles at your compliment, reaching a finger towards your lips. You step back in surprise when a glow emits from it and suddenly, you’re no longer getting blood on the royal carpet. The light in Twix's eyes dance mischievously as he waits for your reaction, while you sit there, bamboozled as hell.

        "That was a small example of my magic, Miss [Name].”

        "Wow, um, thanks for healing me!" he beams and you make a mental note that Twix can heal any future paper cuts you get.

        "Back to our current topic, on the planned night, Queen Hazel's followers tried to storm the castle while she took out the guards in front of father's room. Using magic, she planned on freezing and shattering him into pieces."

        "But she obviously lost?" you look at King Kandy whose eyes were still closed. He was probably sleeping at this point but you couldn't blame him. Mans definitely needed a break. Out of all people, his own wife tried to murder him. "Otherwise we'd be, erm, standing in a room with your mom instead." 

        "Yes. Even with the reveal of her ice magic, most of the people and guards were on my father's side and eventually retook the castle and threw them all in the dungeon; including my mother. Yet one night, she used her powers to freeze any guards on watch and flee with the rest of her followers. By the next morning, we found hundreds of empty prison cells with frozen locks."

        "Holy. Where is she now then?”

Bitterness envelopes Twix's face as he walks over to a large, rustic map pinned against the wall. On the top of it reads 'The World of Candy Land'

His index finger is raised to the right side of the map, which is a stark contrast to the colorful left. On the right, you can only see frozen bodies of water and snow piled on top of mountains.

        "There. After escaping, my mother started a new kingdom in the coldest part of Candy Land called Frostine. She also renamed herself to  'Queen Frost' and established direct control over her followers who she fled with. It's said that she's frozen the hearts of all her people with ice in order to control them easier." Twix pauses. "Miss [Name], do you remember our first meeting?"

        "When I was in the jail cell...?" how could you ever forget your best pal, Mickey Mouse! The mayor nods.

        "And do you remember how I said you passed a test after I smelled you?"

        "Ooooo, yeah I do! I was gonna ask about it but I forgot." he chuckles. 

        "Allow me to explain why I did that. Over the years we've caught many of my mother's followers trying to sneak inside Candy Land by climbing the wall or ambushing our guards. Once we interrogate them, I always notice one peculiar thing about them: their scent."

        "What- did they smell like Belle Delphine's bath water or?"

        "Haha, not quite. Their scent can only be described as salty and cold. Even after taking showers, I noticed their smell didn't go away. After being plagued with this question for nights on end, I was granted access to visit Snowflake Lake to test my theory. And I found myself deemed correct. Snowflake Lake's scent matched those of Queen Frost's people." 

        "?" 

        "After slipping a truth serum in all of their meals, we found out that their hearts had all been frozen by my mother." Your eyes widen. 

        "That means-!" you recall Min's main concern from earlier. "Mayor Twix, you were trying to see if I was a spy sent by Queen Frost? And if I smelled salty and cold, you would've thought I was one?"

He smiles. "Precisely. I hope that answers your question about my strange action, Miss [Name]~" he turns back towards the map. "You see, the term 'Candy Land' was originally used to describe the entire world we candies live on. Now, it applies to all land except for Frostine."

You nod. On the outside, you have an analytical expression on your face. Meanwhile, on the inside, you're in awe as your two brain cells run around to barely keep your brain from getting deep fried.

Why, you groan, does this world have to be so complex? Can't the candy gods give you a break for once?

        "I...understand the situation a lot better now. Thank you." You lie out of your ass. Though you were better informed about Twix's family drama, you still barely had an idea of how to get home. Still, the mayor's soft smile makes the butterflies flutter in your stomach. You tell them to stop at once and to exit you a.s.a.p. or you would drag them out by force.

        "[Name]." You're jump scared by the king, who's suddenly awake.

        "Uh, yes, Your Sweetness?"

        "I'm afraid at the moment I do not have the answer to your main problem. My grandfather once kept a record of how the first human, Bob, returned back to Earth. However, when I tried to search for it a decade ago, I found nothing but ashes in a box. I suspect my wife burnt it on the night she fled from the dungeons. But if we're able to thaw her frozen heart, she might be able to tell you how to get home, child." While the news makes your heart beat in happiness, you bite your tongue, holding in your laughter with everything you got. 

        "I-I, pff, see-! That, that's great then!" your face turns the epitome of red.

Did you hear King Kandy correctly? Bob? The name of the first human in Candy Land was Bob? Who even names their child that?

You bite your lip, the friction of your teeth against it produces strange sounds as you fight for your life.

There were a few times prior where you felt like bursting into laughter, but right now was the moment where you knew, if you didn't release your giggles, you would end up rolling on the floor in tears of joy. "Plea- please excuse me!" quickly opening the door, you book it outside past Joy, Min, and Hershe - who all look up at you in bewilderment. 

        "My lady-! Where are you going?" Joy stands up from the seat, about to chase after you.

        "I'm just going to the bathroom! DON'T follow me! Unless you want your eyes to get poked out!" you scream a little too loudly as the guards look at you weirdly. The three candies stare down the hall in disbelief.

        "Miss [Name], if you're going to the bathroom, it's in the opposite direction!" Hershe exclaims, hands cupping around his mouth as a make-shift megaphone.

        "I'm going to a different one!" 

        "Told you she was weird." Min snorts, crossing his arms.

        "I can still hear you, you minty bitch!" 

As the white-haired knight rolls his eyes, Twix sticks his head out the door, brows furrowed in concern at the chaotic scene in front of him.

---

After laughing like a mad-man on the castle's balcony, you walk back to King Kandy's room in shame. You never thought you were an asshole that laughs during a sad anime backstory. Guess you were wrong.

        "Ah! Miss [Name]!" Twix calls out, in the middle of talking to Min who raises a brow at the sight of you. You awkwardly wave back, still ashamed of having bolted off out of the blue.

        "Sorry for randomly booking it," you avoid their eyes. "my bowels started hurting really badly." 

        "There's actually a latrine in the back inside my father's bedchambers." He smiles. "If you need to go next time, you're free to use it Miss [Name]."

        "Oh. Erm, ok. Thanks!" you smile awkwardly, still avoiding eye contact. Joy looks at you with a concerned expression.

        "Was your bowel pain because of today's breakfast, my lady?" 

        "Um, I guess?”

        "Then I'll inform the carriers to arrive as fast as they can!" she exclaims. "My lady's health comes first!" 

        "Thanks Joy…."

To your dismay, Hershe also joins in on talking about your nonexistent shit. 

        "My my, there's some books that instruct you on what sweets to eat so your feces are excreted smoothly. I could lend them to you if you want, Miss [Name]." 

        "No, I'm okay! Can we please talk about something else though?" your face heats up from everyone talking about your, quote on quote, trip to the bathroom. Min crosses his arms, leaning against the wall as he stares at you with an amused expression. Embarrassed, you cough. "...So what did I miss?"

        "My lord filled us in on the possibility of curing that wicked queen's heart. However, I doubt it'll work on that woman. After so many years, I wouldn't be surprised if her heart turned to ice.” Every word he mutters makes it increasingly obvious that Min despises her.

        "Min." Twix's voice makes the red-eyed knight freeze. "I understand how you feel, but please—she's still my mother." 

        "He has a point though, mayor." You all turn to look at Hershe, who's staring at Twix with a serious expression. "What if this remedy doesn't thaw the queen's heart? What happens? Do we sacrifice our lives for naught then?" 

        "We still have to try nonetheless Master Hershe!" Joy frowns. "If we succeed, then peace will return to the people of Candy Land..."

        ”And if we don’t?” 

You suddenly cut in the middle of the tension, holding up your hands. 

        “Whoa whoa, time out guys. Imma need a rollback. How exactly do we thaw the queen’s heart?”

Twix’s golden eyes make contact with yours. “My apologies Miss [Name]. In order to cure my mother, she must drink a liquid made from three main ingredients. First, we must crush the finest cocoa beans into a smooth powder, harvest the milk from the healthiest cows, and pour in sugar grinded from gold and stir until ready. Afterwards, we boil this mixture at approximately 9000℉ for thirty days straight, and then deliver this drink to my mother.”

You frown. “Wait...isn’t that basically hot chocolate? Besides boiling it for a whole ass month, this actually seems super simple! Is there a catch?”

        ”Ah, the recipe also requires...one teaspoon of human blood. Without this, no matter how hot it is, it won't thaw the queen's heart.” Mayor Twix says casually, as if the two of you are having a conversation about the top ten best sleeping positions, number one obviously being the fetal position.

You step back, eyes popping out and jaw touching the floor. Joy tries her best to push it back up.

        “Wait, you need a teaspoon of my blood?!” you did not expect to have to roleplay as a blood donor in Candy Land, where they probably had chocolate syrup instead of blood in their veins. But there was no way hot chocolate with a spoonful of human blood would taste bussin'.

        ”The recipe unfortunately calls for it, Miss [Name]. If it didn't, we would've been able to cure my mother years ago.”

        ”Oh. Okay. 'ight." You feel your brain cells vaporizing. "Um, weird question Mayor Twix, but have you ever read this book called Twilight?"

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