Chapter 19: Chapter 17: Existence Reversion

“Then, I’m off….” I quietly muttered as I left the house. 

Today was just an ordinary day, nothing special. I’ll go to school, spend half a day on classes, and then go home to sleep or read. 

I don’t know why but… my heart feels heavier than usual. 

Of course, my heart always feels heavy because of the weight of my guilt, but today it feels like something was torn apart from me. 

Something precious… 

As far as I can tell, my entire book collection stands, and nothing I consider precious was taken away but… I just get that feeling for some reason. 

A reason that I don’t know. 

*** 

Lunch break had arrived, so I proceeded to sit in my usual spot on the stone stairs and watched Alisa while pretending I wasn’t. 

Again, she was hanging out with her friends, playing basketball, and having fun with them. I was jealous that they could smile that much without being worried. 

I wanted to join them, but I couldn’t just go up and ask. That kind of thing is impossible for me. 

I was afraid that they might say no. 

 

“̸͍͔͂̀̂͝W̶̥̝̓̉̒ͅe̷̙̯͋̏̈́̋l̷͍̖̑l̸̟̼̔͗͊́,̷͉̗͕̖̇̃ ̴͉͇͆̚ą̸̡͊ň̴̪̹ẏ̸̞͍̘͐̌̃w̴͓͕̜̐̀̿̏a̶̝̪̪̾̓͗y̷̡̥̻͌̄̍s̷̯̺͎͈̓̿̋̒ ̶̼̀͗͘͝d̸̛̯̳̞̈́͗́o̴͔̫͕̅͜n̶̯̾’̴̛̲́̄̃t̶̞̖͋͝ ̵̢͚̥͊͂h̴̰̻̙̳̏̏͛͠e̴̛͇̟̙͒͘s̷̛̤̈̔͑i̶̤̗̬̿͠t̵̲̺͌͌̒̚ͅa̶͇͍̬͂̍t̵̘̺́̋͝͠ẹ̵̆͒͑̚ ̸̳̺͎͉̊̍͂̈́ẗ̵̩̙̂̓o̸͕̰͕͂̍̀͗ ̴̦̯̔̍a̵̘͍̗̍̿́p̵̗̖͑̾̕͝p̴͙̙͂̐̆̚ȑ̵̫͂ỏ̸͎͑̕a̵͓̙̼͝c̶̢̜͓͑̇h̴͙̄̉͝ ̵͕̘̌m̵̘̓̀e̷͉̗̐ ̴̬̞͇̔̿̄͝a̸̗̼̋́͑̀ͅt̶̩̠̗͂ ̸̳͔̭͗͝a̴͓̠̩̾ň̵̨͎͊̍y̷̺͊̅̎͠ ̴͇͔̪̊t̷̛͖̀̏i̸̠̮͠ͅm̸̧̄͐ȩ̸͎̥̔̀̂̚,̴̖̮̰̆̈́̚ ̴̡̣̝̈́e̷̳͚͚̔͒̄v̵̮͇̩̹͊̾̂e̸̼̟̽̍ņ̵̥̔̄̆̚ ̴̭̱́i̵̬͑̽͆f̸̳̝͘ ̵̤̼̈́y̵̨̲̞̬̌̋̀o̵̞͆̑̇̚u̴̧̝̜̇͆̽ ̵̧̦̊̀͐͂d̸̤̎͝ŏ̴̯͂̔͜͝ͅṅ̵̲̥̿̎̕’̵̞̞͓͊̃̽t̶̞̑̀̈́ ̵̝͈̓̇ṉ̸͙̂e̵͚̥̎e̵̲̻̒̈͐̆ḓ̵͓̙̉̾̿͜ ̷͈̍̌̓s̸̭̜̤̐͆́ó̴̜̕͝m̵̩̂͆ḛ̴̦̼̻͗̋t̷̳̹͘͜h̷̙̦̤͐͆̈͜ḭ̶̭̟̏́̾ņ̸̭͆g̷̦͔͖̾̅ͅ,̵͙͖̗̑ ̶͔͓̀̉̂̽Į̶̯̒̌͑’̷͕̤̼̩͠l̶̪̐̓l̷̙͙̈́͂͒̂ ̵̬̟̥͊͊͌͠h̶͙̫͚͓͛̈́̿͝ą̸̼̬͛͋͛̒n̸͈̿̅g̶̳̜̓͋̓̅ ̸̲̯̩̙̓̊̀ô̴̡͈̯̈́̎͜ṵ̵́̐ẗ̴̖͠ ̶̱́̓̑w̵͚̋ì̶͔͋̅t̷̞͈͇͔̓ḧ̴̳͙́̇̑̃ ̵̥̝̇̈́̔y̶̘̝͙̔ǫ̵̀ü̵͙̉̀͗,̷̗̜͒͂͋ ̸̹͎̃I̶̥͉̼̐̈ ̸̟͕͛̕w̶̢̞̣̜̌o̷̡̰͒ṉ̶̟̮͠’̴̪̇̋̈́͋ţ̵͚̯͙̀̌̚̚ ̴̨̩̐̇ẻ̶̡͓̼̅ͅv̴̨̥̞͂͊̍ḙ̶́̿ṟ̵̻̥̟̓̐͋͒ ̷̧̧̤̼͊̃͊ṭ̵͒ͅȗ̴͕̩̤̪͌̾͐r̵̡͍̃̒̈͘n̴͓̈́́ ̵̫̗̋̎y̸̬̬͇͆o̷̗͔̿̇̅̋u̶͕͓̞̤̒̄̂̒ ̴̢͎͕̒̃d̵̠͉̈́̀̓̏ȯ̶̧̭̠̳͘͠w̴̛̼̭̓͋͘n̸͙̗̾͌͝,̵̹̃̈͆͠ ̵̬̼̜̒̿̿o̶̥̳͇̥̍͒k̸͔͕̈̎͜ͅa̵͖͒y̵͇̪̆?̸̣̀”̴̧̘̪̞͒̅̅ ̵̗̉̚͝

 

“Huh?” I uttered as if a lost memory tried to surface from the depths of my mind. 

What was… that? 

I thought, but I shrugged it off the moment after. 

***

After classes ended, I immediately headed home as usual. I walked through the crossing, through the small park, and eventually got home. 

Nothing out of the ordinary had happened. 

But, just like when I woke up this morning, it feels like a piece of me is still missing. I feel incomplete. 

No energy to do anything. 

No motivation to do something. 

After I changed out of my school uniform and into casual clothes, I dropped onto my bed, more tired than usual. 

“…” I sighed while staring at the ceiling. 

It was a Friday; no school on the weekends, so I could laze around all I wanted today without worrying about anything school related. 

Yesterday I thought I was just going to enjoy today, lay down in bed for half an hour before I go and read, enjoy myself watching anime, a lot of stuff. 

But now that today had come, it was as if I had drowned in a sea of depression. 

I literally couldn’t do anything today. 

Maybe this will go away tomorrow…. 

I thought as I closed my eyes and slept through the entire afternoon. 

***

Two days have passed since then, and it’s now Monday. 

Unfortunately, I couldn’t enjoy my weekends or Friday night as this empty feeling persisted. 

I didn’t have the energy to do anything but the basic stuff needed to function in my everyday life. 

Of course, no one at my house batted an eye at how I acted because it was the same as usual for them. 

Maybe, I’ll be able to feel at least something if I watch her. 

I thought as I headed to my usual spot during lunch break. 

I sat down on the stone floor slightly above the school soccer field; Alisa was currently chatting with her friends in the other corner as I started to watch her. 

 

I felt nothing. 

 

The sweetness I fed off by watching Alisa go about her day in school wasn’t flowing into my veins, nor could I even feel it. 

It was as if my mind suddenly decided that she wasn’t interesting anymore, that the desire to hang out with her disappeared. 

Ah, it’s not working. 

You are reading story Convoluted/Heart at novel35.com

 

As I kept my gaze steady on her, Alisa suddenly stood up and walked towards the exit of the soccer field. 

Noticing me in the middle, she stops in her tracks and calls out to me. “Are you okay, Iven?” 

“Uh, yeah, I’m okay,” I replied. 

“Oh, okay, just let me know if you need anything,” after that, she proceeded without even asking me if I wanted to hang with her. 

I guess that’s just how it is; she’s also got her own friends to deal with, so I probably shouldn’t trouble her much. 

I thought as I got up and exited the soccer field as well. 

 

"̶̠̖̎̈͌Y̴͈̗͔̥̪͎̝̊͂̉̾̃̊͂̓̅̈́͌̚̕o̴̳̬̫͖̖̞͍̘̭̫̒u̶̡̮̗̙̪̥̞̥͓̓̇̑̇̈̈́̋͌͆̎́̂̚͠ ̷̨̡̙̬̟̪͍͙̗̠͇̭̘͊̌̓̆̀͘k̸̨̢̢̛̤̱̼̦̖͙̺̋̾̎́͋͂̓̏̾̕̕̚͜n̶̡̧̡͔̟̤̯͕̠̊͂͒̒́́̔͒̍o̸̡͖̲̥͚̮̫̯͖̩̱͙̔̄̈̊͐́́͛̀̈́͊͊̕͜͝͝ẅ̵̛̳͙̙̫̺͓̹̱̩́̿́̃̅͊̏̈́͑͂,̶̯̙͉͍̥̞͈̈̓̕͝ ̴̧̛̰̙͍̥̉̌͂̊͋̋͛̂̌͐̒̔͠i̶̛̠͈̺̭̼̹̣̯̮̠͒̇͌̒̀̌̿͆̽͌͒̌͗̕f̶̨̛̗͓̜̰̞̠̟̝̎͗̎̇̒͊̄̔̽̊ ̶̧̛̺̪̤̟͕̼̎̂̉̏͗͛͛̈͛̕̚̕y̷͔͚̖͖͋̄̕͝͝͝ó̷͇̗̰͌͗̋̄̏͋u̷͍̗̳͈͚̰̹̭̤̣͚̫͐͂̋̈́͆̌͗̓̎́̈́̈́̚͘ͅ'̶̨̣̦̼̹̈̅͠ŗ̵̨̨̟͎̫̜̺͙͓̣͍̯̓́͗͑̍̓̋͆͗̑̎͝ȩ̶̢̘̫͉̰̯̜̱̾ͅ ̷̬̥̣̫̯̣̠̠̬̙̪͋̎̒͛̕ͅȁ̴͙͙͎̪̱͉̻͍͎̈́̃̓͘̚l̴̜͓͈͖͚̎̽̈́́͆̐̌͊̕ơ̸̼̯̈́̒͗̒̏̽͆̋͂̂̔̚͠͠n̸̟͔̬̞̦̰̭̘̲͈̑͜ẹ̶̡̧̫̺̻͖̭̥͍̱̗̃̒̋͋̇̑̆̋̈͝,̶̢̡̱͍̻͍͔̯̭̞͓̩̾̓̀͛̊͑̑̀̌͋̅̈́̕͜ ̶̫͖͇̭̙̲̝̞͈̟̓I̸̢̱̜̼̥̮̼͈̗̘̻̱̭̜̋́̈́͗̒̃̃͂͘'̵̛̮̙̻̠̯͇̤̝͍̹͙̤̍͆̃̌̃͜ͅl̸̛̻̺̘͕̲̰̿̆͊̌̃̉l̵͎̪̇͋̌͛̈́̈͛̽́̆̊̽ ̶̢̡̨̱̯̩̬̮͎̰͓̻͙̙̽͜ḩ̶̛̙̺͋̆̋̈́̏̔̊̈̕a̷͚͎͎̗̖͍̿n̷̙͓̬̘̗͔͕̍̊͗̇͐̽̔́͒g̷̨̠̫̻̼̙͛̽̋́̒́͑͝ ̴͍̦̺͉̻̟̠̣̺̅͑̒̓̔̿͜ö̴̧̺̜́̀̈́̓̿̽ụ̴̤̭̬̖̈́̐̀͌̀̈́̔͛̊̏͊t̷͎̟̒͋͌ ̸̣͈͚̜̝͈̯̿̑͐ẁ̶̨̳̗̱̻͈̗̮͚͕̥̔̓͐̾̀̕i̸̯̲͉̟̼̲̯̼̱̗̓̉̓̈́̔̈́̕ţ̵̣̳̬̑̌̌̈͌̓̌̚͝h̴̢͖̱͔̲̼̫̣̲̫̘̱͚̏̉͑̈́̄̉̂̂̃̊͊͂̍ ̶̨̼͔̮̻̫̫̹̦̪̖̝̋̀͗́͌́̈̇͗͐͗͜y̴̡̢̟̺͓͎͆͒̂̍̈o̴̢̨̖̩̻̙̜̠̅̽̊̽͋̉͗͐̂̀͘͘͝͠u̴͙̩̐̆̈́̕͝͝.̴͙̹̝͓̽͌̍̌̆"̴̭͕̬͍̳̘̻̪̹̘͌͛̄͜

 

***

“Haah…” I sighed. 

It was the next day yet again, but it was still the same. 

Suppose I had to define the difference between yesterday and today. In that case, tomorrow was a public holiday, which no one told me until I got home. 

I was staring outside the window from the second floor, watching all my cousins play around, including Alisa, while my parents and all the other adults were having a joyful time having a drinking party around a small bonfire. 

I wasn’t interested in joining my cousins… but simply curious about what was going on. 

I didn’t have anything else to do, so I thought I’d do this instead. 

“Ahh…” I groaned for reasons that I didn’t know. 

Was I actually interested in joining them? Was I really only just curious to see what they’re doing? 

I don’t know. 

“̴͎̲͖͓̜̜̱̻͈̙̆̎̂͛Ŝ̴͇͉̪̜̤͙͓͎̻͉͍̳̹̘̔̊̃̈́ę̶̢͕͚̺̹͎͔̞̫̖̥͕͈̿͋̾̑̀̇̅̈́̉͠ę̵̡͉̘̩̓̍̓,̴̟̭͈͐̈́̅̋̃̀͛͐̋͗̚ ̵͈̜͚̈́͜I̴̡̛͈̪͕̭̺̱̭̪̼̗̽̓͜ͅ ̶̗̻͇̹͓̯̟͚͎̫̘̟̲̘̄̈́̃͝ḵ̷̠̰̪͔͓͍̻̩͙̃͆̆͑̀n̴̢̢̛̥̺͚̙̭̼̼̟̹̖̺̤̈̇̄̇͐̈́̎̇̅̽͜͝ę̷̰̘̫͈̙̞̝̑̅͝͝͝ẁ̵̢̞̩͓̣̗̺͔͐̓̔̎͝ ̸͚͇͉̗̰̘̲̻͗̈͋̈̓̍̾͂̒̚͝ͅy̷̨̗͚̻̙̬̱͈̅̾̿͆̎̎͗͑̒͛̋̈́͘͝ͅơ̷̳̻̹̩̳͈̾̌͑͝ų̴̡̛̯̮̱̣̟̯̪̾̀̔͑́́͑̎̔̀͝ ̴̨̪̞̮͉̞̬̹͕̓̂̈̓͊̎̾͘a̴̝̓͛͒̔̿̐̓͒̈́̔͆͘c̴͚̳͓̤̘̟̙̖̲̲̾͒̀͐̍̓̎̅͘͜t̶̨̛̛̫̋̂̉́̏́̌͊͋̏̈́̑͊u̷̡̡̨̹̼̲̹̥̝͓̫̦̟̠͖̒̎̅͒a̴̘̜̙̰̓l̷̨̜̻̖̯̖̖͈͙̯̲̥̗͖͗͌̀͜͠͝ĺ̵̢̧̮̘͔̠̠̯͎͉̱̤̖͍̍͊̓̀̊̆̿͋̐́̎̈́̚͘ͅỹ̴̰̠̝͕͔̳̼̣̠͖͓̌̂͂̓̏̂̚͘͝ ̴̛̖̬͍͍̤̗̥̘̀̔̎̅͗̓͆͊̈́͒͘d̵̛͈̫̖̣̬̯̦̳̈́͋̈́̇̋̾͗̅̀̍͘͠o̶̦̗̓̈́͑̌͂̾n̷͔̝̹̞̥̪͔̥̥̣̠̎̓̈́̎̉́̽̈͋̄͘͝͠͝ͅ’̵̨̢̡̣̖̠̹̝̪̹̫͓̫̺͌̈́̐̏̌̈́̅̀̍̋̑̚͘͝ͅt̵̢̡̧̰̳͎̟͕̘̺̲͛̿̍̔̂͆͋̆̂͗́̽͊̾̕ͅ ̶̠͈͇̩̲̰̞̤́͊̈́̄w̸̨̧̡̜̹̣͉̞̥͙̼̫̫͇͑̌̈́̓͊̿̌̽͗̚͠a̴̰̦̟͉̠͗̈́̇̌̓͂͛̏͝ņ̴̛̖̥̣̘̱̼̪̀͘̕͜ͅt̸̻̳̹͉̗̼̼͇̮́͊̊̏͒̎͑͊̅̅̿̕ ̴̨͖̖̻̜̫͚̙̦͍̱̜̄̐͑́͌͜t̵̝̻̠̮̳̜̓́̇͌̑̏̇̏͋̃̕̚ớ̸̫̰̆,̸̳͇̋̀͛̏͊̽̿͋̉̔ ̶̨͔̦̳͈̰̫̳͊͌ͅs̵̨̱̰̋̽̆̅̀̆͊̃̋̓̈́͠o̴̗̎ ̷̤̉̎̐̆͐͠Ǐ̶̩̥̟̄̋͑̿͊́̀͒̕͝͝ ̴̧̧͉̼͚͔̣͒̓̃̈́͌̚͠͝k̴̺̦̱̭̤̮̂̋̐̋̓́̑͐͊̄̕͝͠e̸̟͖̒̇̀̃̌͂̚͠p̴̧̘͎̬̼̗͋͜ṭ̴̰̪͖̯̑͗͐̈́̇̓̀̾̀͝ ̷̥̩̖̭̻̻͍̫̬̲̺͕̫̾̎͊̃͛͒̑͠q̶͈̘͕̼̙̮̖̫͓̮̜̞͛̔̉̏̀́̿̇̃̍̐̊́͝͝ǔ̶̲̺̠̈́̔̔̋̀̏̚͝į̴͔͍̩̯͍̗̻̗̜̻͇͌̀̽̾̂͜e̵̛͖͉͂́͐͆̇t̷̨̛͕͖̲̬͉͔͕̫̻̗̼̯̽̈̂̽̎͆̊̋͂̕͝͝ͅͅ.̸̹̘̱̱͊̂̚”̶̛̖̤̦̝͓͇͎̲̗̝́͑̅̅̽͒̓̓̓ͅ ̴̡̛̩̙̞̮̩̦͓̦̤̽͂Ahh… it hurts. 

 

I couldn’t take it anymore. 

While everyone was still outside, I made my way to the first-floor kitchen, and once I got there, I pulled out a 12” inch chef’s knife from the wooden knife rack. 

The moment after, I still only held it in my hand. 

I knew the next step was to stab straight into my heart, ending this selfish life, but I couldn’t exactly do it. 

Like when I attempted this before, I always ended up only holding the knife in my hand, aiming where it needed to go, and ultimately chickening out and returning the blade to its rack. 

But today is different, or I’ll try to make it different. I held the knife’s blade up and felt it through my clothes. 

I was going to do it. 

I was going to stab my heart and end all my pointless suffering. 

 

“̸̙͇̇̃̌́̚Y̴̧͇͙̝̻͖̝̞̺͇̭͔̰͛͐o̴̢̧͚̺̺̗̼̥͙̓̋͋͊̇ư̴͓̰͂̋̾̆̒͒̓̇̃̊̍ ̴̧̺̰̺͎͚̩̳͍̪̝͙̻͝͝w̵̨̨̮͓̯̙̼̪͔̦̖̖̺̕a̶̛̩̼̲̲͆̾̈́́̂͌̆͐̚͝ǹ̸̡͔̣̝̘͓̔̓̈́̽͐͌̊̑͋̆͗̕͜͝t̶̙̜͎̰̭̪͉́̆͆̅̌̅̏͝ ̶̺͍̯̞͌̉̾ͅț̶͚̟̤̠̈́̽̄o̷̡̧̪̪̘̞̅̿́̃̌̾̕̚͠ ̸̡̨̛͈͔̩͙̳̞͔̠͉̈́̇̋͐̈̽͑̒̚͘͜͝ͅͅh̸̻̼͎̪̭͎͚͖͙͇̣̘̔́̈́̐͒͆͘͝ą̵̢̹̠̰̗̰̣̤̜̣͉̉̾͛͗̆͋̈͐͘ṉ̷̡̡̪̖̞̪͓̮̗̗̦͓̏̽́̈́ͅg̷̨̧̗͓̙̥͚͈̙͍̗͂̑̽̀͐͝ ̵̡̨̱̥̯̭̘̞͖̉̈̃͒̍̽̂̈́̚ŏ̴̧͔͚̥͕͇͕͚̊̓̅̍ự̸̗̑͂̈́̓̍͂̏̊̾̍͋͠t̸̡̗̞̺̼͕̥͔̺̹̥̤̘͗̓̉̀̇͌̊͑͘͝͠ ̵̡̧̨̘̦̝̝͔̤̹͓͍̊̐̆͘͝ẉ̷̧̨̹́̽̃͝i̶̛̯̰̱̲̼̣̇̏̑̍̈̂̕̕t̷̩̩̠̯̜̻͈̑̓́̔̂͝h̴̨̯͎̹̝̪͚̺̝́̔̚͜ͅ ̴̱͕͓̠̪̩͎̝͑̊̉̓̅̄̄̐͆͆̎̉́̑͜m̴̢̛̞̖̀͋̒e̶̢̨̘̯̼̥̜̫̥͙̤̫̭͓͔͋̑͐͒͊̌̋,̸̣̫͗̉͝ ̴̧̞͙̹̽̑ŗ̸̛̛̘̹̮̞̜̝̱̺̱̤̪̞̪̆̌͗̃͒͒̀͌̈́̋̍͘͘i̵̧̩̠͈͔͎̠̦̽̏ͅģ̴̡̛̤̤̰̞̖̝̭̞̣̹͕̟͈͊̂͌̋͛̿̏͋͗̆̍̉͘͠ḩ̷͎̑̈̒͝͝ṱ̸̤̗͉̪̟̟͓̰̟̄̈́͒̆͝ͅ?̶̨̢̤͖̖̱͓̙͔̻̩̜̦͖͐̀̀̂͋ ̴̠͓̩̮̫̞̭̊T̶̛̳͊̐͂̅͌̍̀̋͐h̴̛̪̊̊͑̉̏̌̈̄̄̽́̚a̸̞̻͍̝̙͖̙̭̯̩̭͊̀̽͌t̸̺̤͍̮͈͎͔̯̦̦̤̲̱͗͂́͐̚̕ͅ’̷̨̟̜̹͓̘̠̠̉̅̍̈́͛͜s̸̙̻͔̬͖̘̬̱̯̳̭͓͌̋̏̋̈́͠ͅ ̷̙̪́̏̀ͅw̵̼͉̮̰̔̑̒̽̾͛̃̈́ḥ̴̱̮̟̹͉̞͕̘͗͛̅̇̾ͅy̴̝̖̮̺̹͍̙̰͙̙͔͆͂͜ ̷̧̨̨̤̣̥̖̭͔̱̪̯̻̘͑d̴̢̥̱̘̖̖̖̮̭̝̤͔͇̤̳̾o̴̢͓̞͊͊̈́̅͗̅̈̅̃̂͌̈́̐n̶̰͈͔̏̇̃͂̂̎͐ͅ’̵̫̝̹͈̲͘t̷̜̭̿̋̆͂̏̈́̊ ̸̢̡̖̯̣̦̼̹̤̝̏j̶̡̢̡̣̼̹̩̠͓͓̟̘̰͑̊̓͜ǔ̴̡̢̡͎̈́̏̈͐ś̵̯̹̖͈̏̇̓̅̀̄̕͘͝t̶̹̘̀̓̅͒̉̐̋̉ ̴̧̡̡̤͔̺̱̼͇͔̝̠̯̳̓́͗̐́͛̍̾͗͐̕̕w̶̪̱̞̱̤̗̻̗̆́̾̈́̊̎͌͆̔̆͜ä̴͚͈̖̖͍́̈̒̊̅͋̓̏͊̃̕͝ţ̵̲̹̣̲͓̦̹͌̃̾͊͐͒̄̾̃̄̃̕̚͝͝c̴̨̡͎̖̺̖̹̼̙͂̍́̀̒̎̓͜͝͝ͅh̸̹̍̓̈͝ ̵̛̳̬͔̦̣͉̦̞̞̥̈́̽̂́͆̿̈́͂̋̿̌͠͠ṁ̸̻͕̞͇̱̰̼͓̗̪̻̍̑͂̍̐̅̓͗͗͜ẻ̵͍̑̎̊̋͐͝ͅ…̸̢̡̢̲͔̞̓̒͛̔͛͋́́͋͌̉̿͝.̶̢̯̞͎̙̺̦̺̞̻͊̓̂̓”̶̘̪͐͆̈́̉̓̋͂̏̓͆̚͘

 

“Why… can’t I still do it?” I muttered to myself as I returned the knife back to its rack. I thought I would actually do it today, but it ended the same as my other attempts. 

 

“…” Sighing at my pitiful attempt, I left the kitchen and entered the garage. 

Why did I go inside the garage? I don’t know. I haven’t been to the garage in a while, so I thought to check it out for a change of pace. 

Opening the door and lights, I was greeted by a messy garage with random stuff laid down all over. A couch, some tools, bicycles, and other random stuff. 

“̴̙͕͉͖̘̻̋̽́͋͝Y̷̨̧̟̼̳͝ö̸̩̥́̏͘u̸̠͈̤͕̦̕ ̵̩͕̋̎̋̈̌̃̾n̵͚̱͊̄̌̓̅́̏ę̵̀͑̿̅̒̀͠ḕ̴̛̪̌̊͐ͅḋ̸̡̝̙̖̐̾͋̌̿͜ ̶̘̮͍̋̊̑͊͐͘t̶͉̹̣̐̀̿o̸̺̙̞̅̅͆͑́ ̶̬̳̗̻͇̠̭̑̓͗w̴̘̳͈̓̕͝o̵̫͉̮̎̃̆͝r̷͕̓̇̀̆̋̉͠k̴̺̮̳͕̦̪͑̒̈́ͅ ̷̧͓̥̽̊͋̈o̵̢̨̨̢̞̯̫̔̐n̵̡͇̜̖̜͙̔̏ ̵̗͙̪̲͚̪́̒̓̆̈͠͝y̶̹̋̌̑͆͌̉ȯ̵̘̣̥͙̜͍̮̍̓̑ư̶̩̯̑ṟ̶̛̠̕ ̵͎͚͎͔̦̄͋̓s̴̝̟̓̆̍͑̔̚͝ë̷̦͖̻͙̱͈́͊̾̔̎̾̇r̷̩̅͐̏̾̎̃̄v̷̘̹̗͎̯̀͆̓̈́́̀é̴̡̲̘͂̒̆̂ ̸̢̤̦̺̜̯͖̔̎a̵͉͇̠̥̤̓̌́ ̶͕̫̿͜l̷͕̜͇̬̎ị̸̥̜̈́̃̉́͜t̶̬̱̏͐̾̎̽͗̿t̵̝̙̮͓̓̊͌͝l̸̨̛͓̟̪̜͔̉̅̋ẻ̵͎̟͇̳̹̗͌̓̈́̾͝ ̶̪͎͈͔̼̖̰̄͂͠b̵̧͖͂̀̃͠u̵̟̳̘̲͂͐ͅt̸̢̧͎̅́̍̍ ̷̨̬̿́̿͠w̵̫͒̅̃̈͝í̶̢̗̤͇̾͝ť̷̬̒͐̊h̸̲͕̖̽̅͑̉̂̇͝ ̷̳̮̉̓̂ĕ̵̛͍̤̺̆̉̈̕n̵̥̻͓̭͌͜͠ͅõ̸̰̭̼̼̫͖͒͝ǔ̸̞͖̜̦̙̺͆͆̅̈́͜ḡ̴̡͈̠̖͎̪̹̃̃h̵̥̯̞̻̜̏͒̉̅̉͆ ̶̮̳͕͉̞̗̳̍̄́͝p̴͈͊͌̈́͆̐ŗ̶̳̯͂͜͜ạ̸͆̆̓̋͠c̶͈̭̺̍̿̃͘͠ͅt̷͓̟͐ĩ̵̱͇̅̔̍̈̊͛c̴̦̐͝ĕ̶̖̭͐,̴̧̥͍͓̜̈́ ̷̟͎̏ͅy̶͖̱̹͇͜͝o̷͉̠͍̤͆̋̒ù̵̺̺̪͉̤̾̌’̶̛̩̞̿͊̀̒r̶̞̺̗̀͆̈́ë̴̻̯̼͇̥͙͛̒̑͊ ̵̧͉̘̲̜͂ͅg̵̣̥͇̻̖̠̃̈̓õ̶̭̝̎ͅö̸̥̥̭̪́̎̐͑̀d̸̢̻̰͒ ̶̔͜á̶̡̭͈͍̽̌t̵͍͑̓̿͠ ̵̧͉͕͈̥̱͗͜t̵̠͈̳͐̈́̉̈͐h̸̼̼͚̗̎i̵͇̼̪̇̍s̶̖̹̠̀́.̶̛̭̝”̸̢̜̣̻̜̊͂̀̕͜

“Ah...” seeing the table tennis set up in the middle of a garage, a memory resurfaced in my mind. 

It wasn’t a clear image, but I could tell it was Alisa in the garage. 

 

“This memory… what is it?” 

 

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