Chapter 5: Chapter 5: The White Lily of Everything

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The sound of an unfamiliar clock ticking away time.

“Where am I?” I asked myself as I was in an unfamiliar environment. It was neither my own room nor my house.

As I looked from left to right, I eventually realized that this was the same place I had made the deal with Lilith the Demon King.

The stone bricked platforms, the endless space of darkness.

It was the same, aside from the fact that I was standing on a completely different platform from last time.

 

“Welcome human.”

Suddenly I heard a feminine voice call out to me, in which I turn around the next moment.

In front of me was a woman with straight-long snow-white hair, her eyes closed, dry and pale lips wearing a pure white dress. It’s like this woman’s existence can mostly only be perceived as white.

Only white.

“Hm? It seems Lilith has been taking care of you… that’s good, as expected of her.”

 

“You know Lilith?”

“Of course, she’s a precious person to me so there’s no way I wouldn’t know her.”

“I see…. but who are you?”

“Straight to the point I see. Well… let’s see, for now just call me Lily, Iven.”

At that moment, I widened my eyes in surprise as I heard her utter my name.

“…H-How?”

“Why do I know your name, you ask?” Lily said as she picked up on what I was going to ask. “It’s simple, I am everything therefore I know everything.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to understand, just know.”

 

“Okay…” I immediately complied as I get drawn in by this calm aura that she emits.

Comforting, caring, gentle… I start to feel these warm feelings as I continue to stand before her. Wait… she’s another devil, I shouldn’t carelessly let my guard down. I thought as I shook my head clear of my thoughts.

“Aww what a waste, I thought I’d be able to pull you in given that you’re so susceptible but never mind.”

“You, what do you want from me?”

“Nothing really.”

“Then why am I here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, see what kind of person you are and all that.”

“Why?”

“Like I told you, no reason. Nearly everything that I do is done on a whim with no reason behind it,” Lily said as she started to grin slightly. “I just wanted to see if what Lilith had said was true.”

“True…?”

“But now that I’ve seen you, the aura, the thoughts you produce, and the way you act is like him in every way, it’s like you’re his reincarnation.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t mind it, but tell me this Iven,” Lily voiced as she looked me directly in the eyes. “Do you tire of this world, the endless despair that you harbor, and do you wish to end your life and depart to the next one?”

“I…” My heart began to throb.

 

“You hurt him over your games…!”
“There’s still a chance we could be together someday.”
“You bratty kid, fix the way you’re talking to us.”
“You know, I’m telling you this not for us but for your own good.”
“You know, you don’t have to force yourself to be with us, go be with other people.”

 

Several voices echoed in my head as memories I had hidden away began to flash through my mind. I gripped my heart tightly as each second it started to feel heavier, the numbness had disappeared the guilt had started seeping in.

“Haa….haa….haa.”

My eyes became the ever so slight watery as I held back the tears.

“Why…? Why are you showing me this!?”

 

“Answer the questions and I shall oblige to yours,” Lily responded.

“Haa…haaa….I’m tired of this world, I needed to end my life, but… I still wanted to be happy.”

“Hm…?” In the next moment, Lily had snapped her fingers and then the throbbing guilt within my heart vanished allowing me to breath smoothly again as well as placing my mind in a clear state.

“So, it is as I thought, your heart is healing in a path unlike his but much more destructive,” Lily said as she raised a brow.   

“Haa…haaah,” I was breathing heavily. “Destructive… you said?” I let my hand go from my heart as I stood up straight and faced her.

“By all means, the condition plaguing your mind will always be of a destructive nature with the only difference between minds that have it is the intensity of destruction.” Lily explained as she snapped her fingers again.

 

In the next moment, Lily was suddenly sitting on a throne made from wood while I had been made to sit in a regular wooden chair. “Look here,” Lily voiced as she held out her right hand.

“Huh?” On the palm of Lily’s right hand, a single ball of very dim light had formed. It wasn’t burning or anything it was still lit.

“And look at this one,” Lily spoke as she held out her other hand and another ball of light had formed but this time the ball of light was burning and shining brightly.

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“Notice the difference?”

“The one on the left is burning while the other is not.”

“Correct, these are human souls.” Lily mentioned, “On the left you’ll see what a normal human soul looks like whilst on the right is a representation of your own.”

“That’s my soul?”

“Yes, it is, on the normal human soul it is burning and shining brightly because of its capacity to see the beauty of life itself and has the desire to live.”

“And that means…” I muttered.

“However, your soul on the other hand is very dim to the point that you could barely use it as a light source meaning it has lost its desire to live and is slowly getting dimmer and dimmer until it eventually goes poof.” Lily accurately demonstrated what she said as the ball of dim light had vanished into thin air.

“Do you understand what I mean now?”

“I think…”

“Unfortunately, during this modern era in the modern world there are thousands if not millions of souls like yours, most of them do recover but there are some that are unable to and disappear from the cycle of reincarnation.”

“Uh-huh…”

“The intensity I mentioned will be the speed at which your soul will disappear.”

“And what you’re saying is… I’m going to disappear?”

“Of course, at best you only have a few years left before you become an empty husk in the human world if you don’t die before then.”

So, I was going to disappear without me having to do anything.

“Oh, I see…”

The world decided to make me disappear.

“Are you going to accept this willingly?”

It’s a bit sad but this is what I needed.

“Well… if that’s what the world wants then I’ve got no complaints. I’ll keep hurting people if I continue to live so that’s perfectly fine with me.”

Though, I at least have the time to go out with a bang. I thought as Alisa’s face flashed through my mind.

“Even though Lilith has granted you a chance?”

“What do you mean...?”

“As of right now, you’re in a temporary contract with the Demon King Lilith, with that contract she has given you a type of chaos eyes… eyes that no mere mortal could ever handle,” Lily explained.

“With those eyes you will be given the happiness you desire, and once you gain that happiness and the healing path of your soul diverges, you won’t disappear and gain the happiness you so desire for the rest of your would-be life.”

“These eyes will only give me false happiness. And that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“So, what if it’s false happiness? You would still be happy, would you not?”

“Yeah, I’ll be happy but there’s no point if I can’t accept it.”

“So, you refuse that happiness under the pretext of not accepting it, now then tell me exactly why you refuse to accept it? Why won’t you accept ‘false’ happiness?”

“Because it doesn’t feel right. It won’t feel right at all whatsoever, If I drown myself in that thing, I call false happiness then my heart won’t feel complete. The very fact that it’s false will still bother me.”

“I see… then the solution is simple, what if I offer to erase your memories after your trial with Lilith ends.”

“Erase.... my memories? You can do that?”

Erasing my memories…

“Of course, otherwise If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t even be here in the first place.”

“Oh, I see…”

That’s an option as well.

The thing that molds the person that I am now is my past, and it’s also the thing that holds me down in the first place.

My past is why my desire to live had nearly vanished.

If my memories of that past disappear, then… I’ll disappear and a new Iven will continue to live on.

“It looks like you’ve caught on to something,” Lily mentioned as she noticed me space out.

“Ah, no…” I replied.

“Well, your brain power is quite something along with your train of thought, I never was able to read his, but I imagine your thinking is quite similar,” Lily added. “I admit that it is possible to save your soul with that method as well, but… it’s boring, if it’s boring then I won’t do it.”

“…” I sighed. “Fine…”

“Hm?” Suddenly, Lily raises a brow as tilts a little bit to my left as if she saw something behind me.

“Something the matter?”

“Ah no, don’t mind me,” Lily responded. “Ahem, well let’s end our little chat here.”

“Okay… but how are you going to send me back?”

“From your perspective, this is something like a dream, I’ve pulled your soul here, but your real body is still sleeping in the real world.”

“I see…”

“Well then,” Lily raises her right hand. “Goodbye, let us meet again,” With a snap of her fingers, everything suddenly goes black as my consciousness is thrown to darkness once more.

But before I fell unconscious, I had one more thought.

 

Who does she keep comparing me to?

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