Wipe your mouth. As soon as I thought of a suggestion, a chill went down my spine whilst my eyes throbbed for a moment.
*Munch* *Munch*
But nothing happened; Veronica was still eating her sandwich without even any sign of trying to wipe her mouth clean.
“Haa…” I sighed with relief.
“What’s wrong?”
“No, nothing… I was just thinking about something.”
“If you say so….”
Nothing happened, I used my eyes on her, but nothing happened.
Maybe I was overthinking things? Was I reading into it in the wrong direction? I don’t know.
“Are you sure you’re, okay?” Veronica asked as she looked at me with a worried expression.
No, Iven’s not fine; comfort him. I used the eyes again, thinking it would work, but she only stared back at me with a worried expression.
“Yeah, I’m really fine.”
30 minutes have passed since then, and it’s mostly been awkward, Veronica tried to bring up topics, but it ended up more like a Q&A session for me where she asked me all sorts of things.
I was either honest with my answers or skirted the questions with a simple “I don’t know.”
I don’t know if she just has plenty of free time, but she spent a lot of time with me.
Veronica has to be up to something.
There’s no way she’s just trying to be friendly with me on the weekend outside of school. I don’t remember many of my female classmates, but judging by her looks, she’s probably one of the most popular girls.
I’ve learned the class dynamics on the boys’ side, but for the girls, I’ve got no clue.
If I had refused to be dragged around earlier, I might’ve avoided this situation.
But that was impossible.
Even if I tried my hardest, I’m still physically weaker than her.
“Hm?” Veronica uttered as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, “Oh, I’ve got to go, well it was nice talking to you, see ya.”
She then stood up and left along with her rubbish.
“Phew…” I then sighed with relief as I leaned back against the chair.
That was exhausting… I need to learn how to actively refuse invitations without hurting them.
But what now? I’ve used the eyes, but it didn’t work on her twice as I thought it would.
No, it’s still too early to come to the answer that I was wrong; maybe there are some conditions I haven’t fulfilled yet.
There must be a reason why Alisa started acting like she fell in love with me. Otherwise, I don’t know what to think anymore…
I’ve forced her to feel like that for me.
I feel bad…
Instead of her living a perfectly normal happy life, one where she might someday get a typical lover of her own and lead their lives together in happiness, she’s forced to go down an abnormal route where she fights against society’s rules and enters a forbidden relationship with me, her cousin.
I forced her…
She fell in love with me, not out of love but because I forced her without her knowing.
“Hiiiii…hehehehehehe,” I started to laugh at what I did, not too loudly as I was in a public place. “I did it… again, I did something Ş̷͍͍̻̔̓e̵̱̞͖̖̊̅̃̎̍̓͠l̷̡̨̛͓̣͍̗̰̋̌̕ͅf̷̪̟͖͊͋̑͗̕͠͝i̷͚̟͈͉̐͒́̿̽̆͝͝ş̶̮̹̘̳̺͈͍́͛̂̽̕h̷̢̨̡̨̧̭̰̓̈́̅͌̋̒̐́ again,” I quietly muttered.
I’m insane… The line where reality and fiction lie had become blurry.
I couldn’t see the line anymore.
A human unbound by society’s rules is the most dangerous type of us all, and… I’ve become one, no, I’ve been like this for a long while now.
I just never noticed. Devil, Demon Kings, magical eyes, they exist and drove me further into the deep end.
It’s their fault.
No, it’s my fault.
I can’t blame them because they only exist; it’s my fault for being driven crazy by them.
It’s all my fault.
If I had ended my life before I moved here, then none of this would be happening.
Alisa wouldn’t get to know trash like me, my parents would continue to live comfortably without me bothering them, and my classmates wouldn’t have to try and walk around on eggshells around me.
I’d be free after all.
From this pain, suffering, and loneliness.
But then again, committing suicide is also se̵̱̞͖̖̊̅̃̎̍̓͠l̷̡̨̛͓̣͍̗̰̋̌̕ͅf̷̪̟͖͊͋̑͗̕͠͝i̷͚̟͈͉̐͒́̿̽̆͝͝ş̶̮̹̘̳̺͈͍́͛̂̽̕h̷̢̨̡̨̧̭̰̓̈́̅͌̋̒̐́.
If I did it, it would only massively benefit me and me alone; everyone else would be given slight, considerable benefits along with a massive aftershock because I did the act.
Many would be sad because they’re obligated to be unhappy; I don’t want that.
I don’t want anyone crying over my death.
Preferably if I died, I want them to cremate my body and throw away the ashes like the trash they are. Then, everyone else could happily live their own lives without me bothering them.
I sound childish in saying this, but… that’s what I really want.
***
After contemplating my decisions and resting in the food court for a few minutes, I decided to go home and do another test on another day since I was tired from that encounter.
But as I was about to stand up, someone called out to me, “Iven?”
“Huh?”
Standing to my right, a few centimetres away from my table was Alisa, who was wearing her white wooled jacket along with some plain black pants.
The outfit she wore when she came over to my house the other day, aside from her hair tied in a wide ponytail using a banana hair clip, was the same hairstyle she always wore in school.
“What are you doing here?” Alisa asked.
“Uh… I was a bit hungry and wanted to get out of the house for a bit, so I went here to eat,” I replied.
“Oh, okay.”
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“How about you? What are you doing here?”
“I’m with dad and we just finished up our grocery shopping.”
“Oh really? But then why are you here? As in the food court.”
“Because I wanted something to eat, I’m a bit starving right now.”
“I see…”
“Is that Iven?” Suddenly, a middle-aged man came up right behind Alisa and interjected. “Yeah, it’s Iven,” Alisa responded as she glanced back at him.
He’s Uncle Nelson… I’ve heard his name before and seen him from a distance.
“Well, how are you?” Uncle Nelson turned to me and spoke.
“Uh, I’m fine.” This is my first time talking to him.
“You fine?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He talks like my other Uncles here, usually speaking to me in English but with a foreign accent.
“That’s good.”
As I was talking to him, the idea hit me. I could do it again… I could use the eyes on Uncle Nelson. Maybe it didn’t work on my Veronica earlier because I just met her; I didn’t know her as she didn’t know me.
I also didn’t know much about Uncle Nelson besides his name before this, but what can my eyes do to a blood relative?
That’s an interesting question…
Ask Iven to join us to eat. I internally voiced my suggestion, and then it happened.
A chilling sensation went down my spine as my eyes throbbed for a moment.
“Join us, let’s eat together,” Uncle voiced.
“Yeah, do you want to join us Iven?” Alisa asked.
“Ah sure…” I replied.
“Great,” Alisa uttered in excitement with a bright smile.
“Good, then I will go get the food, what do you want, you two.”
“I want a large mac,” Alisa answered.
“Uh… I’ll get the same,” I added.
“Large macs for the two of you?”
““Yes”” we said in unison, but Alisa’s voice was slightly louder than mine; thankfully, he still heard me.
“Okay, I’ll go get it, you two stay here,” Uncle then walked away and left us alone while he went to get our food.
“Uhm, mind if I sit here?” Alisa asked as she turned to me.
“Go ahead,” I replied.
“Thanks,” Alisa added as she sat down on the spot next to me.
Close… she’s too close! I internally panicked as I could hear my heart beat faster than it was the moments before.
“So, how’s your weekend going so far?” Alisa asked as she faced in my direction.
“Uh, uhm… it’s going fine, I guess….”
Her face is close… the sides of our bodies are touching each other; what… is this?
“I see…” Alisa playfully said. “Must be nice….”
“What?”
“You were on a date, right?”
“Huh? No, I wasn’t on a date, I was alone before you approached me.”
“But if it wasn’t a date, then who was that girl you were eating and chatting here with? Hmmm?” Alisa teasingly said with a mischievous smile.
Agh, she saw me…!
“Um, that was just a classmate, I met her here by coincidence and she dragged me here to eat.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Fff, I was just joking; no need to get so tense….”
“Ahaha…”
She’s kind of scaring me a little.
“Well… anyways, if she’s just a classmate, then that’s fine, I believe you.”
“Okay…”
“Plus, I know you really aren’t the type to go on dates, so I really was just teasing you back there.”
“Uh yeah…”
That is true…, a gloomy person like me would go on a date with a girl. Not that I want to, but that’s just how it is.
If I really wanted to go on a date…
It would be with her.
At that moment, my entire body suddenly shook from the cold, preventing me from noticing the throbbing of my eyes and the chilling sensation sent down my spine all at that moment.
“You alright?” Alisa asked out of concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine, It’s just a little cold in here that’s all.”
“Alright…”
Now… what should I do next?
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