Chapter 30: Chapter 30: The diary

Chapter 30

this is a fictional story by realTensai

JANE POV

After I opened the hiding place, I discovered something unexpected. It was my father’s diary. I never thought that he would hide it here. The last time he showed me the hiding place, there were only the documents of his latest experiments. But now there was his diary.

I took the book in my hand and shook off the dust. For a long time, I just held it in my hand, while I wondered whether I would read. The reason I was not sure was that I had already finished with the past. I had now finally accepted that they were all dead and was ready to move on. Therefore, reading the diary would not help me.

However, there was one thing I had to confirm. I had to find out what happened to my father. I had to find out what made him so crazy. And this I could find out through the diary.

For the last time, I mentally prepared myself to read the diary, after which I opened it. The diary began in the year 990 after the meteorite shower. This was three years before my family died. I started reading the beginning.

I bought a new diary for myself today. The last time I had one was when I was a child. In this diary, I want to only record my thoughts and the beautiful moments with my family, so that I will never forget them. I got the idea of keeping a diary after I saw Jane’s diary. But when I wanted to read it, she screamed at me. I think girls at that age don’t like it when you read their diaries. I will try from now on to write something every day, but knowing me, this will surely won’t last long.

This was the first entry. I still remember how father tried to read my diary and how I yelled at him. When I remember it like that, those were good, simple times.

I read a little further, but until now it seemed like an ordinary diary. He only wrote about mundane things he had experienced during the day. Most of the entries were about our family, about me and Lucas, and about all the things we had we had experienced together. If you read the diary just like that, you would never think that this man would later kill his family.

I just skimmed some chapters until I got to 993. This was the year my family died.

I am currently working on a revolutionary idea! If this works, it will open a whole new door for the world. Normally I didn’t want to write about experiments in this diary, but I can’t help it. Recently I discovered a way to collect cosmo energy from the environment. Maybe it is possible to inflict this cosmo energy into the bodies of the people so that they can expand their cosmo energy content. That would be really wonderful! However, I need to do more research before I can be sure about that.

Right now, things are not going well. I can’t get any further with my experiment. In theory, everything should work, but in practice, nothing works. I tried to inflict cosmo energy on rats. However, they all died. Of course, I can’t be sure that the same thing would happen with humans, but it was most likely. I need to do more research.

Time is running out. It has been months and I still do not get further with the experiments. In addition, the deadline for sending in my results is getting closer and closer. If I don’t send in anything, I will lose my place in the council. I am desperate.

Jane has developed a rune! No words can describe how proud I am of her. She is truly a genius. Soon she will have surpassed me. Now I am really motivated again. As her father, I can’t give up after all. I will look for ways to make my experiment a success after all!

I can’t get any further. No matter how much I research, whenever I try it on a rat, it dies. I know already that I have to modify its body beforehand so that it could absorb the cosmo energy. But the body of a rat is too weak. And even if it would work with the rat, I don’t know if it would work on a human. The bodies are way too different. I would have the same problem if I used other animals as test objects. I can not deduce from their bodies to that of a human. To test my theories, I would need a human test object. But I should forget this thought immediately. Human experiments are forbidden in Utopia and I would never do such a thing. I have to think of something else.

What should I do? I only have less than a month left to deliver my results. If I don’t do that, I will lose my place on the council. Without human test subjects, I’m not going to get anywhere. Lately, I’ve been really thinking about buying a slave. Of course, slaves are forbidden here, but they are common in other countries. What if I go to another country for a short time to experiment? Oh, what am I even writing here?! How can I think about doing human experiments? Never, never, will I sacrifice a human being just to achieve my goals!

Today is the day. Today I have to hand in my results. I still haven’t made any progress. But at least I have kept my humanity. I could never experiment with a human being. I will meet with the council tonight and explain my situation. If they kick me off the council, so be it.

I just met with the council. They have opened my eyes. They told me I should do experiments with humans. At first, I was shocked, but after they gave me something strange to drink, I suddenly understood everything. They were right. I had to do these experiments. I had to do it for humanity. Even if I had to sacrifice a few people. And they suggested I should start with my own family. Yes, I will start with my family and see if my experiment works or not.

What the hell happened?! This was the entry the day before my family died. But what happened to my father? He was normal until before. From the entries before, I have recognized that he was, until then, still the normal father I loved so much.

Although he was under so much pressure, he would never have done a human experiment. This became clear to me through his entries. However, after the meeting with the council, this changed. What happened there?

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY FATHER!!!

Apparently, they agreed to let him do human experimentation. And it was their idea to start those human experiments with his own family. He was clearly against it before, but after the meeting, he became the psychopath who killed his family. Could it be that the council manipulated him?

If you connect all the facts, it makes the most sense. He also said that they gave him something strange to drink. If the council really was responsible for turning my father into this, I will never forgive them!

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I looked for other entries but found none. Did he not write anything after that? But on one of the last pages, I found another entry.

What have I done?! I have killed them! I killed my own wife and son. I experimented with them! And I even wanted to experiment with Jane! What the hell happened to me?! What did the council do to me?! No, no, no, that wasn’t me. That wasn’t me. THAT WASN’T ME!

I could never do something like that. Since yesterday, I have had no control over myself. It’s like I’ve gone crazy! It’s like someone has taken over my body. That is not me! Only now do I realize what happened. Only now do I have control over my body. But soon I will go crazy again.

Damn! I knew there was something wrong with the council. Lately, one after the other, the members have been acting strangely. And now it was my turn! Someone on the council is making the others go crazy. He wants sole control over the council.

Shit, I don’t have much time left, soon I’ll lose control. Before I lose my mind once and for all, I’d like to record my thoughts here. I’m sorry. I am sorry. I’m sorry! How could I have let it come to this? I killed Lucas and Karin! No, how could I?! My whole life was a mistake. I should never have started this research. I have to make up for it somehow.

At least Jane escaped. Yes, Jane is still alive. My only daughter, the person who puts a smile on my face every time. She will most likely hate me now. Just thinking about it breaks my heart. But I will always love her! No matter how crazy I may become, I will always love her! Jane, if you one day somehow read this, never forget that your dad loves you. And I know that maybe it’s a bit too much to ask, but I hope you can forgive me someday. Though I guess that never will be the case.

What? I looked around for more entries, but I found nothing more. This was my father’s last entry. My brain could not properly process the information. It was way too much for me to take at one time. However, when I read the last words again, I broke down.

The tears did not stop flowing when I realized that my father had always loved me. He had not just gone crazy; they had manipulated him. And yet I always hated him.

I felt guilty for not trusting my father. I even wanted to kill him myself. What a terrible daughter I was! I knew my father could never do something like that. I knew him for 17 years as the nicest person in the world, and yet I did not believe that maybe he wasn’t crazy after all.

My heart ached and all the tears I shed could not even begin to reflect the sadness I felt at that moment. All the time, the last words of my father were repeating in my head. He has always loved me. He always loved me! And he only wanted his daughter to forgive him. But even his last wish, I could not fulfill during his lifetime.

“I-I h-have forgiven you, dad!”

I’m sorry that it comes so late. Filled with pain, I could only clutch my chest and cry in a contracted way. Today, I probably shed more tears than in the last few years combined. It was a tough day.

I had finally calmed down a bit. My father had always been a good man, luckily I had found that out. But they forced this good man to kill his own family. The thing he loved most in this world, he had to wipe out with his own hands. I can’t imagine the pain he had to endure at that moment.

But the reason he had to do all this was because of the council!

One person in the council made my father go crazy. He must also have been the person who caused the terrible reputation of the council lately. He must have been the one who brought Damion into this world. Yes, he is the root of all evil!

I will find him and kill him! I’m going to make him pay for doing all this to my family!

I immediately made my way back to the hotel. I had to get to Damion and tell him the whole truth. Besides, now I could tell him my idea of how to get to the council.

If I say in front of the council house that I am Theo Handerson’s daughter and want to talk to the council, they will most likely let me in. Being the daughter of an old council member, you enjoy a few privileges. Even if my father was a criminal in the eyes of the country, it did not affect me.

It was not long before I arrived at the hotel. Arrived I went to Damion’s room, but when I knocked, he did not answer. Since he was probably already asleep, I had to force my way into his room. I didn’t demolish the door completely, though I did destroy a good part of it so I could enter. Of course, I could have waited until tomorrow, but I had a bad feeling. I felt that something was wrong.

When I arrived in the room, Damion was nowhere to be found. I looked around, but I did not find him. His room was devastated, and there were traces of a fight. A bad premonition spread over me.

Damn it! I am too late!

The council has already kidnapped Damion!

 

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