Chapter 2: Chapter 2. Nothing deters the determined!

In which a young master learns that ignorance is a burden which weighs down the common man, and that the throes of ecstasy can be easily denied by the appearance of unwanted and unrelenting company. Only fools challenge the will of a Dark Master.

 

“Good morning, young master!” said a warm, welcoming voice that greeted Shen’s ears as he entered his home. “Welcome back! You’re just in time for morning calisthenics and self-defense training. I’m very pleased to see you up and about and using your time so wisely.”

The voice belonged to Shen’s personal maid, Valarie. She was a beautiful, golden-haired woman of indeterminate years. Physically, she looked like a young woman barely older than Feng. But her eyes and subtly dangerous mannerisms told an entirely different story. Valarie was a cultivator on the third stage. Years ago, her growing mastery over her body allowed her to begin slowing her aging. Shen had known Valarie his entire life, but while he had grown from infancy to adulthood during their long acquaintance, the only thing that had changed about Valarie was her hairstyle.

Such an unnatural long life unnerved Shen. It was yet another reason he was glad to have avoided the path of cultivation. He’d read terrifying stories about what could happen to people who stopped aging but were unable to reach higher levels of cultivation. Their minds could grow fragile and snap from the strain of preserving too many memories. Such people became unable to recognize the world or their friends and family, and in their delirium, they would attack everyone and everything around them until they were forcibly put down.

Shen shuddered just to think of it.

“C’mon, Granny, can’t you show me a little mercy?” he asked, pointing to his wounded forehead. “I’m clearly too injured to train today.”

“Young master, although you’ve squandered many invaluable opportunities to learn cultivation, as the future head of the Qīngwā family, you’ll still be expected to possess a certain level of fighting capability. If you can’t at least defend yourself from common criminals, or drunken ruffians, you’ll become a laughingstock among the five great families of Lǜsè Point.”

“As if I care!” Shen protested. “Do I seem like the sort of person who’ll be confronting a lot of drunken louts and bandits? I never leave home! Besides, Feng’s reputation is all I need to remain safe.”

“As her elder brother, didn’t it bother you in the slightest to rely on your little sister for protection?”

“Not at all! Feng is a natural born thug! Her rapacious capacity for bone-breaking violence is a sight to behold! When she stood by my side, I was all but invincible.”

“Oh, goodness. I thought I was speaking to my young master, but it seems he’s been replaced by a sentient hub of walking garbage. Return my master, trash heap, or I shall be forced to deal with you ungraciously!”

“Easy, Granny,” Shen smiled smugly. “Think logically; Now that Feng has joined the Golden Eagle sect, I’ve become more untouchable than ever! Everyone knows that those who harm the family of a sect member will be hunted down and slain. And knowing Feng, she’ll shoot through their ranks in no time and easily become one of their inner disciples. Who’ll screw with me then?”

“You’d be surprised, young master,” Valarie said, now speaking in a frank tone of voice. “Even a sect as powerful as the Golden Eagles, has dangerous enemies who do not fear their reprisal. And the terrible truth of cultivation is that the more powerful one becomes, the more enemies they inevitably acquire. Your sister is sure to rise high, but she will also draw the envious eyes of those who wish to surpass her. A close family member like you would become a tempting target. That is why most cultivators discard their birth names and embrace new identities.”

“Really?” Shen asked, now interested.

“Oh, yes. You didn’t think infamous fiends like Merciless Cold Spider or Decapitating Tiger were born with those names, did you? At some point in their training, all Cultivators discard who they once were and become new people. Eventually, even Mistress Feng will also set aside her name and embrace a new identity that better suits her. And the moment she does that, you will no longer be siblings. In other words, don’t count on her reputation to protect you.”

“You can’t be serious!” Shen snorted. “My sweet little sister would never forget her beloved older brother! Our bond is airtight!”

“I’m being very serious, Young Master. A cultivator’s chief concern will always be ascendency. Not maintaining irrelevant bonds with mortals. Didn’t you wonder why your parents chose not to see Mistress Feng off?”

“What? Father asked me to deal with it because he’d be up early at a meeting.”

“No, young master. Your parents are in a secluded place right now, mourning the loss of their daughter. Her joining the Golden Eagles means the ending of what once was. To them, that means she may as well have died, since they know they will never see her again.”

“Bah!” Shen said angrily. “So that means I'll never see her again either, I suppose?"

"Most likely not, young master," Valarie said sadly. Her empathy greatly angered Shen.

"You cultivators and your selfish ways!" he said. "You treat the single-minded pursuit of power as though it were a sacred and honorable calling. But all I ever hear and read about are maniacs throwing lightning bolts at each other and destroying entire cities! What’s even worse is that so few of you ever meet your goal of immortality! The odds against achieving it are astronomical! It makes the whole endeavor pointless, and just highlights the fact that it’s a bloody lottery not a real way of life!”

“Tch. Young master, for one who has never cultivated, you sure have a lot of disagreeable opinions about it!”

“Oh! Well tell me then, Valarie. Since cultivation is so important and wonderful, why are you working as a maid in my household? Shouldn’t you be out adventuring across the land, seeking the Dao like your contemporaries? What’s your cultivator name, anyway? Dust Devouring floor sweeper?”

Valarie clenched her jaw angrily but maintained her respectful tone of voice as she spoke. “Young master, sectless cultivators such as I, have a more difficult path to follow than others. My family is poor and has no reputation or wealth to speak of. It makes funding my training as well as finding those willing to teach me, an arduous task. My sincerest hope is that Mistress Feng will put in a good word for me with the Golden Eagle sect and one day convince them to allow me into their ranks.”

Shen scoffed at her words. “So, your grand plan for success is to labor away as a maid on the off chance that you can one day become an outer disciple based on my sister’s pity? I thought cultivators were supposed to be ambitious, granny.”

“You know nothing of my ambitions!” Valarie said, and this time she could not contain her anger. “I’m proud of what I have achieved on my own, but it’s so much safer to have a learned master as a guide! I still can’t believe you so casually dismissed the many opportunities to learn that you were given! Truly, the wealthy live different lives! The only thing you possess in greater abundance than your father’s gold, is your willful ignorance!”

With that, Valarie stormed away, leaving Shen by himself.

“Hmph! What got into her?” he wondered.

__

 

The next morning.

 

“Caw! Awaken, my disciple! A new day now dawns! How long do you intend to sleep? Hmm? Caw! Hey, get up already! Do you dare refuse your master’s command? Very well! So be it!”

An alarmed Shen jumped to his feet, squealing in pain as something pinched his nose and clung tightly to it. What manner of creature now attacked him? A loathsome spider? An angry scorpion? What could it be?

Ah. It was the stupid fat crow.

“Let go of me!” Shen yelled as he pulled himself free of the bird's beak and angrily glared at his squirming assailant. “My nose is not a worm, you ridiculous scavenger!”

“I know what a worm looks like!” the belligerent crow yelled back. “I was forced to rebuke you for refusing to obey me! I’m a fair and gracious master but I won’t be ignored!”

“And when precisely did you become my master?” Shen retorted disdainfully before dropping the crow on the floor and crawling back into his bed. “How did you get inside my home, anyway? Assaulting a house’s occupant while he’s sleeping is a serious crime, you know! I could have you put down for that.”

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“Ha! This illustrious warrior has fearlessly faced down the very legions of Hell itself! Do you think I fear your animal control services? Let them dare approach me! I’ll crush them where they stand! Caw!”

“Why are you so loud?” Shen groaned dismayingly as he pulled a blanket over his head.

“Was I wrong about your strength, apprentice?” the crow asked in sudden concern. “Are you suffering from poor health? Let me check your chi circulation!”

“What? No!” Shen shouted from beneath his blankets.

“Then why are there so many balled up tissues littering the floor? Doesn’t that mean you are often sick?”

“Please go away!” Shen begged, both embarrassed and annoyed.

“Never!” the crow declared. “You and I are a destined pairing! We both wounded each other’s heads and intermingled our blood! This is a sacred ritual that bonded us together as spiritual partners!”

“You mean when you hit my face and nearly killed me with your awful flying?” Shen asked in exasperation.

“Indeed! And because of that, I can now appear wherever your shadow is! That makes you quite lucky! My twelve Millenia of knowledge and experience are eternally at your disposal! I’m a veritable treasure trove of priceless wisdom!”

“Ha! You claim to be twelve thousand years old?”

“Indeed, I am! For two thousand years I roamed the lesser realms alongside my master! And then for ten thousand more, I lived in the eternal paradise of the celestial realm! Why, I border on the very edges of the divine! You should thank your lucky stars that this majestic angel of a raven has claimed you as his student!”

“You’re not a raven! You’re an overfed crow! And your delusions are comical!”

“They are not delusions! I’m a great warrior and you should take me seriously!”

“VALARIE!” Shen shouted at the top of his lungs.

“How may I serve, young master?” she answered a few moments later.

“Get this stupid crow a bowl of birdseed! His squawking is driving me insane!” Shen commanded.

“Oh? And when did the young master adopt a pet? He’s adorable by the way."

“Squawk!”

“It’s more like he won’t leave me be!” Shen said. "Feed him, then toss him outside!”

“Very well,” Valarie said. “Come here, you darling thing, let’s get you something to eat. Goodness, you’re a heavy one, aren’t you? Oh, but you’re so sweet! And such a dashing rogue with your eyepatch and beads! Young master, I love this bird,” she cooed.

“Then you can keep him! Just get him out of my room.”

“I’ll return, you shiftless little bastard! Nothing will keep me from your side!” shouted the crow.

“Oh, look at that! It’s like he’s trying to speak,” Valarie said in delight as she gently stroked the crow’s head. He preened under the gentle touch of her fingers and chirped happily in pleasure.

“You can’t…hear him?” Shen asked in surprise.

“Of course, I can hear him,” Valarie said. “He just said caw-caw-caw! It’s so cute!”

“How could a cultivator as weak as this child possibly hear my divine voice?” the crow said smugly to Shen. “Face it, kid! You’re special whether you realize it or not! And you’re my disciple, so get used to it! Oh, but she does have a deft touch. You should consider taking her as a wife!”

Shen groaned in annoyance until he fell back asleep.

__

As Shen requested, the crow was fed a bowl of grain and then released outside. Now freed from the burden of the pest’s company, Shen began to relax. First, he played a few games on his computer. Then he checked to make sure his door and windows were locked, and the curtains were drawn. When he was absolutely certain that he was safely alone, Shen decided it was time to spend a little quality time with his favorite ladies online.

“Heh, heh, heh. Okay, girls. Time to see what you’ve been up to…”

When he found a video he liked, with the camera angles precisely where he best enjoyed them, Shen reached across his desk for a handful of lotion. But before he could do exactly what we all know he was about to start doing, a familiar and hated voice cut through the darkness of his room.

“Hey, what are you doing?” asked the curious crow. “Is this a breath control exercise?”

“Ah!” Shen yelled in panic, as he jumped from his chair and tripped over his pants and crashed to the floor. “Hey, get out of here! What are you doing?”

“No, what are you doing?” the curious crow asked him. “Wait a moment, why are your trousers unbuckled? And why is it so dark in here…oh, you indolent loser! Is this how you spend your free time?" shouted the crow.

"You should have knocked!" wailed Shen.

"What sort of a pathetic chump have I accepted as my disciple?! Don’t you have any concubines? What sort of young master are you? Oh, the disgrace! The disgrace! To think this majestic raven has been soul bound to so wretched a pervert! Ohhhhh!”

“Get OUT!” Shen screamed in frustration.

 

Continued…

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