Chapter 12: What Has Changed of Us? (1)

Everyone watched the guy dying for different reasons.

Emily thought that it was something she had to do because it was her idea to come here, it was her feeling of responsibility.

Thar was watching it next to Emily because he thought that was the only way to support her, it was his duty.

Dean was watching it because he felt weak. Everyone other than him did their best but when it was his turn because of his cowardice Thar was injured, It was his guilty and desire for redemption.

Kaan watched it because he felt he had to do it. He wanted to overcome his mind which was telling him to stop himself, it was his desire to destroy this obstacle.

Kaan couldn't endure it anymore in the end and after the last bloody grunt came out of the guy's now-dead body, he moved away from there a little bit and massaged his temples with his right hand.

Kaan knew that he didn't feel bad for anything, actually, he was feeling better because he took care of them before they were able to hurt more people yet hearing the cries and pleas and seeing him broken, broken by him, bothered his mind. Killing someone was harder than he thought but at the same time, it was too easy.

He felt the weird feeling lingering inside him, he felt that his chest was tightening. Now that he got away from the smell of the burning flesh making him want to throw up, he breathed deeply until he put himself together.

He felt Thar getting him closer between his breathing and then he stopped next to him. He didn't say anything and just stand there looking at the rayons reminding Kaan that he was not alone.

'This guy really has a good personality.'

Kaan just smiled under the mask as he looked at the Thar, at that moment he felt the decision of teaming up with them was really the right choice.

"Is it getting any better?"

He asked looking at the still bleeding shoulder of Thar.

"Nope, but it'll get better so don't worry about me."

He said with a reassuring smile as he lightly patted the bloody cloth surrounding his wound like there was no problem but Kaan didn't buy it.

"Hey, Kaan."

Kaan turned his head around and saw Thar looking at him with a serious face for the first time.

"You don't have to take care of things alone, if something overwhelms you or felt like you couldn't do just say to us okay? Don't try to take the burden as you did just now, okay? Don't forget we are a team."

Kana sighed at the words of Thar, he thought that he acted well but it looked like they also didn't buy it and understood that he struggled.

"It was something that I had to do, I knew that they were waiting for someone to come from the beginning and I wanted to learn about it even tho I didn't think that it would turn out like this, it somehow worked in the end. Don't worry about me, Thar. I am also okay, but thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

Kaan answered sincerely to Thar and Thar looked happy with the answer he got. Together they returned to Emily and Dean, who were busy filling the canned foods into the bags. They had already removed the guy Thar caused to fly over; he was dead of that hit because the broken ribs pierced his heart.

"Here, it's yours."

Emily said handing Kaan a bag full of canned foods.

"I could've done it myself."

Kaan said to her and he saw that her brows frowned lightly showing her slight annoyance.

"Just accept the damn bag, Kaan."

Hearing the sound of her annoyed tone Kaan accepted the bag.

"Good."

She said with a satisfied smile before returning back to her job.

"She is irresistible, isn't she."

He said grinning, his eyes following Emily. Kaan just simply ignored his words and moved to the wall where he could watch them in silence.

"If you have the energy to fool around come here and help me!"

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Emily said angrily as she looked at Thar with a piercing gaze. Thar quickly ended up next to Emily and helped them.

Kaan opened his and put the canned foods into it and waited for their job to end while thinking about their next move.

'First, we need to leave here quickly.'

He didn't want to encounter whom these guys were waiting for. It would be a meaningless fight and it felt like they spilt enough blood for now also they were not in the best condition to fight.

'We need to get rid of these bodies, tho.'

He didn't want to leave any trace that can show what happened here and he also had a few thoughts on how they could get rid of the bodies but they didn't sound too good so he wanted to see what they were thinking about it.

After a few minutes, they finished looting the canned food rayon.

"This probably will be enough for us for a long while."

She looked happy that at least they were able to find what they were looking for, it was worth to effort.

"What are we doing now then?"

Kaan asked Emily.

"I was thinking of following our plan to go to the forest. We can probably sleep on the trees without much problem but we can also find a place to spend the night and then head to the forest if you this what you would like to do."

She answered Kaan's question but she began to improve a strange feeling whenever she received a question from Kaan, she thought she didn't know why but when she looked into his eyes she felt like she understood.

'His eyes…'

His eyes felt like they were trying to pierce and go into her mind whenever he asked her a question so she revert her eyes after looking at them for a while yet she still felt them they were trying to find a way before they disappeared.

"Let's vote."

Kaan offered to them with a flat voice. It didn't really matter to him if they stayed in the forest or in another place for the night. Everyone agreed with the idea and they decided to go to the forest with all of them favouring it.

"Um, are we gonna just leave them like this?"

Dean asked in a tight voice as his eyes wandered to the dead bodies with disgust.

They were in silence once more. Kaan looked at Dean and saw him looking towards him and then at Emily, Kaan was sure he didn't have many ideas on how to get rid of these bodies by the look on his face. The same applied also to Thar, he seemed he was thinking about it but in the end, he left this matter to the others so it was left for Emily and Kaan to decide.

"We can burn them?"

Emily looked as if she should say it or not for a while but then decided to go with it and said it in a kind of unsure tone. Kaan looked at their reactions; Dean was surprised at the sudden suggestion but quickly get rid of his surprise and accepted what must be done. Thar had an indifferent expression on his face.

"Okay, then let's burn them."

Kaan was also thinking about burning them, he also thought that they could throw them to the zombies or drag zombies here because he didn't know how long would it for a human body to burn and decompose but he dismissed the idea because he didn't want anyone to carry the dead bodies and mentally degrade them, or himself, more.

"They were waiting for someone or a few people to come here so let's be quick before we found more trouble."

Everyone agreed with Kaan and they piled the bodies and then threw anything they found flammable on them and they were ready in a few minutes, now the only question was who was gonna do it.

Kaan looked at them for a while and then step up to the piled bodies. He didn't have many emotions for the dead so he thought he should do it. He knew what he had to do was inhumane but he just simply have to do it like how they had to kill them, there might have been other options but in a ruined world, sooner or later, humanity had to die.

He pull a matchbox and took out a match, lighted it up. He look at the fire on the match and lightly threw it to the piled-up bodies without thinking anything.

As the fire started to ignite he looked at the faces of his team members and he saw them looking at the fire with dreadful looks on their faces.

'What has changed of us in here?'

Was the only thing he could think the fires devoured the three dead bodies.

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