Chapter 20: 20: Do Not Disturb Hoodie

I walked into class twelve days later wearing what I call my 'Do no disturb' hoodie, feeling groggy and generally grumpy with the world. I didn’t have any specific reason to feel this way, other than Mondays started early and I was not a very cheerful girl in the morning. I slumped in my seat next to maddy and groaned. Who thought that having classes before noon was a good idea? I would so very much like to crush them into a tiny black hole. I can do that now you know.

Maddy took one look at my disgruntled and petulant expression and decided against engaging in conversation right away. She opted for smiling a twinkling little smile at me in greeting and then turning back to the front of the lecture hall. Maddy seemed to be catching on to my moods and how to deal with them rather quickly. We’d spent a lot of time together over the last week and a bit. She’d taken to coming to my new home with me after class most days and then doing her work there. It was actually my idea originally, but she’d been so happy and excited at the idea that we’d done it most days since.

I slogged my way through the lecture with Maddy gently prodding me when something important happened. I just didn’t have it in me today to actually pay one hundred percent attention to what was going on around me. I was grumpy because so many little things had been going wrong today. Just a series of tiny irritations that had built up into this general feeling of dissatisfaction that was driving me a little insane.

When it was over we sat there in our seats while everyone else made their way out the door. I saw a lot of similarly stunned expressions on the faces of those leaving. Yup, those studies about morning classes being a dumb idea could not be more right.

“You are kinda funny when you’re all grumpy like this,” Maddy said from beside me.

I raised a petulant eyebrow at her, “Uh huh, well I’m going to go and grump my way to the nearest uni cafe and get myself a coffee because I need it so bad. Do you think they do it intravenously?”

“I’m not sure that’s super healthy,” she giggled.

“Worth a shot,” I shrugged, dumping my unused pen and paper back into my satchel.

I stood up and headed for the still softly creaking door to the lecture hall.

“They might actually do those,” Maddy said wryly, following me as I headed towards the door.

“Oh that’s a good idea!” I said excitedly, some form of energy returning to my limbs.

The weather outside was looking overcast and threatening rain as we made our way through the hordes of tired students towards the cafe, chatting tiredly as we went. I felt comfortable around Maddy. She was such a sweet and kind person, it was hard not to adore being around her. She felt like someone I would have comfortably nestled in my life for a long time. I certainly hoped so at any rate.

We were within sight of the cafe when Maddy stopped in her tracks and swore. Something I hadn’t heard her do often.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, searching her now very worried looking expression for answers.

“I have a damn meeting to go to! We started this club and…” she said looking pained, “I’m so sorry!”

My heart fell a little. I didn’t really want to be alone right now, but if she needed to go to a prearranged meeting, then who was I to stop her?

“No problems Mads,” I smiled, then shyly added, “You can make it up to me later…”

Her face flushed at my addition, and she glanced quickly off to the side, but not before her eyes made a quick trip to my kinda large chest.

“R-right. Sure! Ummm, okay I’ll go now… have a good day!” she said hastily, then turned and shuffled off as quickly as she could.

I sighed as I watched her go. I think that might have been laying it on too thick. Damn. I loved fucking things up didn’t I? Why on earth did I add that little line? I mean, we’d been flirting a lot recently but I still wasn’t sure if she was into me and… why had she turned around?

“U-um. If you want we can… I can… we can go to like, a place for food. At dinner time, I mean. I want to take you to dinner and… oh my god. I hate words!” she said, stumbling over each sentence with the grace of an overfed possum.

I stood there while my brain computed what she was asking, and then it was my turn to burn up. I felt the blood rush to every single part of my face. The tips of my ears, my neck and even down my chest. I had just been asked out… to dinner! By Maddy! What did I say? I liked her. I mean she was super cute and adorable.

Plus underneath nerd disguise, like that hoodie she always wore, was an attractive girl. Hot in that way where they had an extra soft layer of fat across them. The type to have thick thighs that the elastic on thigh high socks dug into a little bit and- Oh gosh I’m fantasising. She would look nice naked. Stop! Wait aren’t I meant to be giving a reply? Focusing back in on the real world, Maddy looked panicked and I swear she was on the verge of throwing up.

“I’m sorry! I can… we don’t have to-” she stammered, but I interrupted her.

“No! I mean.. Yes! I want to… it would be nice to have dinner with you Maddy,” I said, imitating and building upon her eloquent way with words.

“Yay! Oh my… yay! Thank you! Okay! I’ll message you and… damn I have to go! I’ll talk to you later!” she said, grinning at me, then turning and dashing off.

She was so sweet. I wonder what it would be like if this turned out well? Dating Maddy? I tried to picture it in my mind as I turned back towards the coffee shop. Would she sweep me off my feet? I could see us cuddling for hours on a couch while we played some co-op story game on a console, giggling and throwing snacks at each other. Wow my mind was bringing up all sorts of lovely cuddling scenes actually. That sounded nice.

I stepped into line and waited for my turn to order, dreaming up my future life with Maddy in my head. We’d get a cute comfy little condo somewhere and keep all the curtains closed, then we’d play games and read until the end of time. No need to leave.

When it was my turn to order, I decided against going for any caffeine shots or anything. It’d be bouncing off the walls if I did that.

“Can I have a flat white please?” I asked, picking the type of coffee I knew rather than actually having to think about what I wanted while I held the line up.

“Sure. Three dollars please,” the cashier said in a bored tone.

I pulled my card out of my bag and jammed it into the chip reader, waiting for it to bring up the next menu. Nothing happened though, and I tried again, and again. I frowned, looking up at the cashier in embarrassment.

“Sorry!” I mumbled anxiously, “Let me check my account on my phone.”

“Sure,” she said, turning to do some coffee related things behind the desk.

I opened the app quickly and typed in my password to get into my account, but I received a warning rather than my balance, “Sorry, but this user login is invalid. Please contact our support for more information.”

What was going on? User login invalid? But I’d been using these details since I was like ten and my parents had set the account up for me. Why wasn’t it working now?

“You going to try again?” the girl behind the counter asked.

“U-uh, no… I… my card isn’t working, I’m sorry!” I said, shaking my head and rushing off with my proverbial tail between my legs. I was blushing yet again, but this was a blush of real embarrassment and it was not a nice feeling.

I moved back out of the cafe and found a quiet corner to sit in while I called the bank customer support line. My hands were shaking as I pressed the keys that would get me past the dumb robot and talking to a real person. What had happened? I didn’t have much money, but what I did have was important! I had things I needed to buy, coffee to get with friends. Shit… why had the bank closed my account? Did the authorities tell them to close it because they knew about my involvement with the Sunfall incident?

The wait was excruciating and my panic mounted with each badly recorded non-proprietary song that was played through the terrible quality of the call. I was almost in tears when the operator got on the line. It sounded like I had some bitter old woman on the other end and my heart sank even further.

“Hello my name is Leslie, how can I help you today?” she asked in a deathly bored tone.

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I made sure to take a calming breath before I spoke, “Um so I tried to use my card before and it didn’t work, then-”

“Do you have money in your account?” she interrupted, already sounding less than interested with my plight.

“I-I don’t know? I tried to-” I said, trying to marshal my thoughts and failing utterly.

“You can check your balance either through our app or over the phone,” she told me, interrupting again.

“I know! I tried to use the app but it said my user login was invalid!” I said, a little more forcefully than I’d intended.

“Ma’am I understand you might be frustrated. I am trying to help. What is your name, date of birth and security pin please,” she said with an exasperated sigh.

I rattled off the information she asked in between more breathing exercises. I could cry and get upset after this, but I needed to find out why my account wasn’t working.

“Ma’am it seems as though your access to this account was revoked by another party. When you opened the account there were two other people with full access. They have removed yours,” she said flatly.

“Oh…” I said in defeat. I knew what had happened.

“Is there anything else I can help you with ma’am?” the customer service rep asked.

“No…” I murmured, cutting the call.

My parents had cut me off from the account. When it had been created I was too young to hold sole responsibility over the account, so my parents had also had full access. There had never been a reason to change that before now. How could I have been so damn stupid? My powers could only protect me from physically fucking up it seemed. I was still a massive idiot when it came to everything else. I didn’t panic though, there was nothing to panic about. I’d already lost. I slumped sideways and just wallowed in my own misery for a moment.

My parents were determined to ruin my life, even after I had escaped them. Why were they such assholes? I’d known of this side of them, but I’d never expected them to direct their hatred at their own child like this. I just wanted a mum and dad that loved me, why was that so fucking difficult for the universe to grant me?

I was too upset to go to my next class, and I didn’t want to go all the way home right now. Without really thinking about it, I picked up my skateboard and just started riding. There were tears running down my cheeks as I left the university grounds, just following my instincts. Letting my feet and the board guide me somewhere.

It wasn’t that I was bawling over a chunk of money. That sucked sure, but the main knife in my gut was the continued vindictive hatred of my parents. Like Maddy said, they were supposed to nurture and protect me, not try and tear me down at every opportunity. I had a shot at real happiness right now with my new body, and they were trying to take that from me.

I alternated between frustration, bone deep sadness and anger as I rode my board through the streets. I imagined all sorts of scenarios where I got vengeance. Sometimes it was bloody, sometimes it was slow and petty.

When I finally looked up, I found myself at the skatepark. Sure why not practice skating I guess. At least I still had that. I placed my bag on one of the benches and went to work. I threw myself into my skating to distract from my hateful parents, at least until it was time to go home. I followed my powers, my mind settling into a kind of blank state where my whole world narrowed to just the board and the learning. I wanted to be able to skate without relying on my powers. My powers were a great learning tool sure, like a training wheel, but it somehow cheapened the tricks I was able to pull off at the same time.

I did let my powers stop me from hurting myself though. Several times I found myself a few meters in the air without a board under me, and I allowed them to kick in and land me safely on the ground without broken bones. At one point a dude tried to get my attention, calling me a cat because I was constantly landing on my feet when I bailed.

“Nah, she’s like a dark leopard or something with her hair like that,” another replied.

I ignored their attempts to get me to talk to them. I was just here to skate until the pain was gone, and so I did. I skated and I skated until my limbs were shaking from the effort. It felt good to work out like this. Wearing my body down until I was too tired to think about the utter betrayal of those who had brought me into this world. That bullshit about blood being thicker than water was all lies.

I had to stop when even my powers couldn’t get me to move with any precision, and I struggled my way to the bench where I had left my bag. I flopped down onto it, turning laboriously until I was on my back and facing the darkening sky. I felt better after that. Exhausted sure, but I was no longer eyeballs deep in sadness like I had been, and I had made real progress towards learning a bunch of tricks without my powers to help.

I was ruminating on what I was feeling when I felt a weight settle on the bench next to my head. I looked up to see who dared disturb me and found Brook looking back with a worried expression.

“Hey Els. You okay? Maddy said you never turned up to class,” she said gently.

I didn’t really have the energy to explain everything that had happened, so I just shrugged.

“Don’t want to talk about it? That’s okay. Um… I wouldn't want to let me know the dark shit going on in my mind either,” she said, laughing self deprecatingly.

Oh my goddess Brook.

“No,” I said tiredly, “You’re fine. I’m just really tired. I’ll explain once I have the energy.”

Her expression brightened somewhat, and her hand moved as if to brush through my hair, but she thought better of it.

“Okay. Uh, so are you going to go home? Should I like, help you get on a bus?” she asked. She seemed out of sorts. Like she had something weighing on her as well. I wish I had the energy to get it out of her and make her feel better.

“Can I just… can we go to your place? I think I’d like the familiarity of it right now,” I asked with effort.

“Sure,” she smiled standing up and taking my bag and skateboard from me, then offering a hand.

Brook was an angel. Always so reliable and ready to help. I really needed to put more effort into our friendship. When I took her hand she lifted me to my feet, but when she let go I immediately wobbled like a toddler just learning to walk.

“Oh fuck,” I mumbled, clutching at her before I fell over.

She reached out and put an arm around my waist to steady me, and I leaned against her gratefully.

“I think I messed my muscles up more than I thought,” I giggled a little hysterically.

“Yeah it seems like it. You look drunk,” she snorted, her hand firm against my side as she guided me out of the skate park.

We wobbled our way back to her apartment, each foot of ground we walked an effort for me. I was starting to wonder if my powers had somehow dampened my pain so that I hadn’t realised I’d been hurting myself. I had been pretty determined to keep going until I dropped, so maybe they had accommodated that. I needed to be more careful.

Brook’s roommates were nowhere to be found tonight, and I was extremely thankful for that. I had less than zero desire to interact with the dickhead one when I was at full capacity. If I had to deal with him now I’d probably pop his head like a grape with a well placed gravity field and to hell with the life of villainy that would lead to.

I almost cried out in a semi religious fervor when we got to her room and I was able to collapse onto Brook’s bed with a world weary sigh. I crawled slowly up the bed until I was nestled in her many pillows.

“I’m having a nap,” I announced, then let myself fall asleep. The last thing I was aware of before I passed out was a blanket being tucked over my shoulders.

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