Chapter 94: Chapter 93: The Truth (2)

“Glad to hear that,” Izumi-sensei said with a hint of reassurance.

Then she continued, “Confabulation. You’ve read that right?”

“Yes, a memory disorder in which made-up stories fill in any gaps of the person’s memory. Or in short, false made-up memories.”

“You’re correct. I’m sure that you know where I’m going with this, right?”

False memories... Wait, so all the memories I have all those days are false? That’s what Izumi-sensei was trying to imply, right? So does that mean, I also have other false memories?

“Y-Yes...”

“Confused?”

I nodded in response.

“It’s fine. Once a person learns that some of its memories are all just created imaginarily, they would get scared. Getting paranoid about if what’s true or not, are all normal. Memories are a delicate part of us, and a crucial part of what makes us a ‘human’. Or what we are now. Like a house of brick, the very foundation of that was the brick blocks of memory that all fit together to form our consciousness...”

I was obediently listening to every single word that came out of Izumi-sensei alongside Naoki and Yuki. They too are listening to her with great importance. Whenever Izumi-sensei would speak that way, I can’t stop listening.

Then she continued, “... Let’s continue on with the false memories you have. Tell me all the memories you have of those days.”

“Uh, yes. The only people I can talk normally and interact with are my parents and sister... Uh... also, the thing with how I kept my eyes shut for weeks because I’m frightened with the terrifying hallucinations I’m getting. “

“Correct. However, in reality, they are not.”

“What?”

“Remember the thing you said about you can’t interact with other people except for them?”

“Yes.”

“In reality, they are not. They’re not even relatively close. I have something to tell you so that it won’t confuse the next part of what I will say.”

Um, pretty much everything you’re saying Sensei is all surprising and confusing for me. Til to this point, my brain is still malfunctioning from all the information I’m hearing. Amidst my confusion, something inside felt empty and disappointed. I’m like a lifeless doll... That’s the idea from what I’m feeling inside my chest.

I feel suffocated.

I’m like in a dark ocean depths staring at a light that I may never reach, drowning in my sorrows as I sink gradually in the deepest trench of my inner feelings.

“Tatsuya.”

“Eh? Ah, yes!”

“You’ve been in a daze.”

“Sorry.”

“I understood that you’re confused Tatsu, but remember we’re always here for you.” Naoki held my hand and smiled dearly at me. Yuki did the same, but she only looked at me with affectionate eyes. It’s her way of telling that she’s here with me without telling a single word from her mouth. I can’t measure how much I appreciate them just by staying with me all this time.

“Just seeing you three, makes me miss my husband and daughter. Haa...”

“Sorry about that, Izumi-sensei.”

“It’s fine. Seeing you three, makes me feel at ease. I just recalled the days where I would see the three of you laying in the hospital bed sleeping. You guys won’t even care even if the bed is cramped. As long, you’re in each other’s embrace.”

Upon telling us that, Izumi-sensei smiled genuinely. It made me dumbfounded. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen Izumi-sensei smiled like that. She always had a deadpan face whenever she talks to anyone, but I heard she would only smile in front of her family. But right now, she’s smiling in front of us. Even the Naoki and Yuki seemed to be surprised at Izumi-sensei’s smile.

Then I heard a whisper in my ear. “Tatsu, am I seeing right? Is that Izumi-sensei?”

I whispered back. “Yeah, I think so too.”

“You guys... That’s not her, I assure you. It’s impossible.”

“Yuki, that’s pretty harsh.”

“Yeah, I agree with Naoki. Yu-chan.”

“Perhaps an alien?”

“Yeah, plausible.”

“Yeah, nice thinking Yu-chan.”

As we’re whispering with each other, we heard a cough. “*Cough* *Cough* *Cough* *Cough*, are you guys done?”

We all nodded.

“Just because I’m like this, that doesn’t mean I’m emotionless. I’m just not letting my emotions be seen by other people. Think of it, as training.”

“Training?” I asked, in confusion.

“It’s for research purposes.”

“You just said—”

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“Tatsuya, I’m not obligated to answer you, okay?”

Narrowing my eyes in suspicion, “Okay...”

“Ehem, where were we... It’s about your memories.”

“Yes.”

“In short, those memories of your first-year stay here are all false memories. Frankly, the only people who can feed and take care of you at that time were Naoki and Yuki-sama, not your parents or sister. No one can even get close to you, nor even me or your parents. Only the two. That’s why they’re the ones responsible for taking care of you, bathing and feeding you.”

“Excuse me, what?”

“You can’t even live without them, at some point. That’s why as your appointed doctor, I’m grateful to the two for taking care of you.”

“Wait, wait wait, wait, what do you mean by taking care of?”

“Don’t worry, Tatsu. We’ve seen every bit parts of your body.” Naoki interjected.

“Bathing, feeding, assisting, and even when your pee—” Yuki added.

However, before I could lose my sanity here, I immediately covered Yuki’s mouth. I don’t want to know any of that anymore, nor the specifics. I’d rather know nothing. Something inside me died, my dignity. But, it’s from 2 years ago? Yes, but still... It’s still humiliating for me.

“Please don’t say anything, anymore. I beg you.”

Yuki nodded.

“Sensei, please just go straight to the point. If they’re the ones who took care of me then you’re telling me those days were false memories?”

“To be exact, yes. Not only that, but the entire duration of that year.”

“What?”

“Tell me, do you remember anything that helped you recover other than staying here?”

“Yeah, medicine and you plus some other things?”

“No. I mean, yeah, those medicines helped. But, the overall progress of your condition didn’t change.”

“Wait, let me clarify. I did get admitted here for a year, right?”

“Correct.”

“How come... You’re telling me all my memories about my stay here are all made-up memories?”

“To a certain degree, yes. Tell me about something that you knew about your caretaker Mari.”

“Eh? Uhh... She has many ex-boyfriends and she would rant about it all day long and would have a boyfriend after a few weeks. But, she’s attentive and committed to her job no matter how hard it is for her. Whenever she would see a good-looking person, she would annoy me with it.”

“Actually, you’re correct in her being a talkative type. However, what you guess wrong was her ex-boyfriends. From what I gathered from her colleagues about her romantic relationship, in her entire life she only had 2 boyfriends.”

I’m getting a sharp headache right now.

“Wait, what about the monthly dating thing?”

“Yeah, she has some occasions where she would date other men, but to only to that extent not. Naoki and Yuki-sama knew about that.”

I shifted my gaze to the two. They only nodded in response.

“On her rants, Naoki and Yuki-sama were the people she’s talking with, not you, Tatsuya. Mari was your caretaker and the one responsible for assisting them, in taking care of you.”

I shut my eyes close as I try to remember anything...

“Tatsuya, there’s no use in remembering it. It’ll only stress your brain.”

Opening my eyes, I responded. “Sensei, please get straight to the point. Please don’t prolong it anymore.”

“Fine, when you were rescued and sent here for mental health since you’re in the worse condition, for a kid to experience. Bruises, broken bones, and blood loss, luckily there are no cut marks. One of the most horrifying imaginable things you could see for a kid like you. Upon arriving here, you’re in a state of coma for proximately 2 months. Yuki-sama’s grandfather Koichiro-sama wanted to send you overseas to check in your condition, however, you woke up before they could even send you.”

Listening to Izumi-sensei’s explanation, Naoki and Yuki’s hands started trembling. However, as for me, instead of feeling frightened like before, a strong emotion dwells inside me. I gulped.

“Because of that, they postponed the plan of sending you overseas. So in the end, you’re kept in here. After waking up, you were in a trance state for weeks before you started screaming and panicking all over the place even your parents or sister can’t calm you down. However, when you saw Naoki and Yuki-sama that day, magically you calmed down like an animal who got tamed...”

Putting her glasses down on the table, she continued. “... During that time, we concluded that they’re the only people whom you remember because you can’t recognize your own family at that time. Few months have passed, you’re getting better but your ability to speak is still not coming back.”

“Wait, ability to speak?”

“Correct, because of the trauma inflicted on you, or psychogenic mutism. This is a common thing for children who have past trauma, you’re still young at that time so... I will not explain it any further since you know about it. Let’s get back to our topic. After a few months, you’re looking more stable than ever. You’re okay with other people, you can look at them in the eyes totally fine. It’s all perfect except for the mutism and the part where you don’t remember anyone other than the two.”

Psychogenic mutism, a psychological condition for children or even teenagers that affects the person’s ability to speak or hear, varies for different kinds of trauma. From listening to Izumi-sensei, I’m getting creeped out because of the number of things that I don’t recall.

It’s giving me goosebumps.

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