Chapter 33: Chapter: 33 Weapon’s Master

Ahri told us that I had stepped into a fairy ring and she had tried to grab hold of me but it was too late. One moment I was there and a second later I vanished. 

She’d stood in the fairy ring for over an hour before the mushrooms started glowing again and then the wild magic had seized her and transported her to fairy land.

She’d headed to the nearest tavern and when she’d arrived the barkeeper had told her about a brawl. From his description she had figured it was Flint and I they were talking about. The townsfolk told her that the big people had been seen with an outcast living on the edge of town.  

“When they told me it was a little girl,” said Ahri. “I knew you’d be here.” 

“It's not like that,” I said. “And besides Bel is hundreds of years old.”

“If it's not like that?” said Ahri. “Then why did you feel the need to mention her age? Actually I don't want to know what goes through the sick mind of yours. You’ve had your penis for such a short time, don't make me rip it off.”

---

Bel came back from the kitchen with a drink for Ahri and the three of us sat at a small table in her yard. 

“How do we get out of here?” asked Ahri. “There has to be a fairy ring that leads back to Umbra.”

“There is a fairy ring in the Crystal Palace that fairy traders use to transport goods to the overland,” said Bel. “It's guarded but it is still in use.” 

“I thought you destroyed the palace?” I asked.

“That was fifty years ago,” said Bel. “They rebuilt it but they won’t let you use the fairy ring without the queen's permission.”

Ahri raised her feet as the chickens strutted passed and stopped to look at her toes.

“Just give us directions to the palace,” she said. “We will figure out the rest.”

Bel shook her head and said, “I want to come with you.”

“Sure,” I said. “It's a free country, I think. I actually don't know much about Fairy land?”

“I want you to bind me,” said Bel. “So I can come back to your world.”

“I’d love that.”

Ahri frowned at me.

“I mean,” I said. “It would be great if you joined us but why bind you. Don't you want to be free?”

Bel touched her fingers together as she thought and then she said, “I have heard that binding protects magical creatures. As long as our summoner survives we can't get killed. When enough damage is done to us we return to the card.”

“I didn't know that,” I said. “Does that mean I'm stuck with Flint for the rest of my life?”

Bel laughed.

“No, but seriously,” I said. “Don't you have family here?”

“Just my mom.”

“Would she be ok with you leaving?”

Bel smiled nervously and said, “You can ask her yourself. She’s the head of the Royal Guards.”

---

The Crystal palace looked nothing like I’d expected. There were no transparent crystal shards forming the ancient fairy-like building. No giant tree with a door in it and millions of fireflies in the branches. Nope it had none of that typical fairyness.  

It was a green bricked building sitting atop a hill surrounded by a moat filled with dark liquid. Bel told us that the bottom floor of the palace was used for keeping yaks and pigs. This was incase of a siege and to keep the beasts warm in winter. 

The middle floor was the living quarters and the top floor was said to be the home of their god. The queen's chambers were also on the top floor so she could be near to heaven and hear the words their god spoke. 

A drawbridge made of polished wood lay across the mote and a squad of guards stationed on either end of the bridge inspected every person making the crossing. 

The guards stopped us as soon as we stepped foot onto the bridge. They didn't exactly tell us to leave. It was more like they drew their swords and pointed them at our throats and told us they’d split us from mouth to anus if we took another step. 

We backed away and returned to the road and stared up at the building. 

“What now?” I asked.

I looked down into the mote and I could have sworn I saw something moving in there.

“We’re not wading through that,” said Ahri. 

“You have a better plan?” I asked.

“Actually I do.”

---

We walked the perimeter of the mote until we found a spot where we were hidden from view of guards and the town.

“What's the plan?” I asked.

“We jump over it,” said Ahri. “We can use that fancy leap spell of yours.”

“That's not a plan that's a method of suicide.” 

“I've seen you cross larger distances than this,” said Ahri.

I shook my head and said, “But if I'm carrying two of you then we might not make it across.”

Ahri crossed her arms and glared at me. She said, “Are you calling me fat?”

 “What? No.”

“Good,” she said, “Because I dragged your heavy unconscious ass through Marshhaven.”

I raised my hands in surrender and said, “Ok, let's do it your way.” I looked at the Pixie. “Bell, are you ok with the plan?”

Her face was white and her palm sweaty but she looked at me, gulped and then nodded.

With Ahri pressed to my chest and her lips an inch away from my own and Bel clutching onto my back like a monkey I cast the spell and we leapt through the air. Ahri being so close to me had distracted me so right from the start our trajectory was off. We’d either just make it or slam into the side of the mote and slide down into the dark liquid.

Luckily for us Ahri realized we weren't going to make it and she transformed her gown. It billowed out and became a massive pillow just as we landed heavily on the other side. For a moment I felt Ahri’s lips press against mine and then she head butted me and we both laid on the ground holding our heads and groaning in pain. 

A few minutes later I felt something sliding up my pants.

“Not now, Ahri.”

Ahri held her head and said, “What are you talking… Holy shit.”

A tentacle wrapped around my leg and hoisted me into the air and my arms flailed as hundreds of tentacles rose out of the dark liquid and reached out towards me.

“Oh, crap,” I shouted. “Do something.”

Bel launched herself at the nearest tentacle. Her nails extended like claws and she tore through the thing like a hot knife through a penis shaped tentacle. 

She jumped from that tentacle to the next and then the next slashing at them as she went. Finally she reached the tentacle that had wrapped around me and was squeezing the air out of my lungs. She sliced the tip off of the tentacle and the sight sent a cold shiver down my spine. It released its grip on me and Bel and I both plummeted towards the host of slithering tentacles in the liquid down below.

Ahri’s extended god’s raiment caught us inches from the bottom just as a mouth with rows of razor sharp teeth emerged from the slime. 

“Ahri! Pull us up.”

“Why do you have to be so damn heavy,” she shouted as she hauled us higher.

The wall of razor teeth drew nearer. 

“Cast a spell,” I shouted at Bel.

“I can't,” she said. “I don't use magic anymore.”

“What are you talking about? Just do it.”

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Bel shook her head again and I reached into my spellbag and drew my Polyblade. 

“Give me something good for once,” I shouted as the spell took effect.

* Reticulating probability--

* Testing Weapon on Timmy--

* We are going to need another Timmy--

* Weapon selected-- 

* Have a good day

* Two handed sword 

The weapon of choice for those compensating for something.

The two handed sword fell from the sky as the wall of razor teeth rose up to meet us.  

My left hand held Ahri’s massively extended sleeve and my right hand drew two more cards and cast them in quick succession before the sword reached us.

Rapid Growth resolved and the two handed sword tripled in size. Mimic took effect next and the massive sword shimmered and split into two swords. Those two swords split again and again and eight swords the size of trees plummeted from the sky and slammed into the open mouth of the creature of the mote.

A piercing shriek tore out of the creature's throat and the host of tentacles went limp and fell back into the water.

* +3980 xp

---

I stood on solid ground with a two handed sword stabbed into the ground in front of me.

* Congratulations 

* You have leveled up

* New Skill unlocked: Weapons Master Tier 1

I ended the rapid growth spell and the sword returned to normal size. I pulled it out of the ground like Arthur drawing excalibur and I flourished the sword behind my back and over my head like a kung fu master. As my new weapons master ability kicked in, my knowledge of swords changed from ‘stick ‘em with the pointy end’ to ‘mortal kombat.’ 

Knowledge poured into my mind. I knew the techniques, the blocks and parries, the jabs and strikes. I would no longer swing weapons like a mad man on acid. I was a student on the path of Weapon’s Mastery. 

I had no idea how I had unlocked that ability. Possibly it had unlocked because of the stylish way I had killed the mini boss or maybe it was just because I had used so many weapons in the last month that the system recognized that I was trying to master them all. 

Hey system, how does this thing work? 

Silence answered my question.

Of course a useful system would be too easy. Wouldn't want the earthling to actually know what the hell he was doing. No, where’s the fun in that, let the bastard struggle, more fun that way.

 

Only silence greeted the rant inside my mind. I sighed and with nothing left to do I checked my status.

*

Name: Talasin Wright

Race: Human

Class: Spellblade

Level: 7

Health: 54

Skills: 

- Hero’s Insight

- Weapon’s Mastery Tier 1

Status: 

-Over this shit

Spell Cards: 8/10

- Polyblade

- Twilight Titan

- Mold Earth

- Mimic

- Leap of Faith

- Karf’s Poison Mist

- Demon Prison

- Rapid Growth

*

“So,” said Ahri. “Do you plan on standing there staring into space and grinning like an idiot all day?”

---

“This is the plan,” I said. “You see that open window on the second level.”

They nodded.

“I’ll use Rapid Growth on one of these vines, you both hold onto me and the vine will lift us up to the window sill.”

“I'm the most agile,” said Bel. “I'll go first and you two follow.”

With one hand holding onto the vine and Ahri nestled in my right arm we slowly lifted off of the ground as the vine rose up towards the window sill.

I looked up to make sure the vine was growing in the right direction and accidently looked up Bel’s skirt.

“Don’t you wear…” I started to say and Ahri elbowed me in the ribs. 

“I was just making sure the vine was growing the right way,” I said.

“I'm sure that's not the only vine that's growing,” she said.

“Guys,” said Bel.

I hoisted Ahri up onto the window sill and she yelled, “Don't come up.”

But it was too late. I was already hauling myself through the window and as I looked up I saw a row of guards all wearing purple platemail and they had their swords aimed at our chests. 

Bel stepped forward. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Hi mom, miss me?”

---

Acquired Skill: Weapon’s Mastery Tier 1

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