Chương 149: Chapter 64 (part 3)

Upon being ushered into the confession room within the hollow tree on the right side, Fu Zheng carefully wrote down everything he had hidden from Ning Wan, pursing his lips. Because he was used to working on a computer, he usually typed out his letters. In fact he had not written a letter by hand for many years, but still, word by word, Fu Zheng patiently and solemnly explained the reasons behind his "going incognito".

His handwriting is very beautiful, and right now he was writing a little more carefully for Ning Wan's sake, in the hope that her anger in being deceived would be soothed upon seeing such pleasing words.

He wrote an entire pageful on the secret notepaper provided by the confession room. Still feeling like it wasn't enough to express his true feelings, Fu Zheng turned over the page and continued writing.

Although this persona was created and his identities was fake, his feelings for Ning Wan were real.

Just like an essay question one was unsure of in the final exam, even if you didn't know what answer the teacher wanted, you would do your level best to write something. The more you write, the better, until you filled up the entire answer area. Who knew if it just made you feel better or if it was really useful, but what in case you accidentally trod on the correct answer during your ramblings? Even if it was an edge case, maybe you'd get more points? Or, even if you went the complete opposite way from the correct answer, at least you could hope that your attitude toward filling up the answer sheet would tell the teacher how serious you were about answering the question.

Fu Zheng dimly felt like he was such a student. It was his own fault for not studying properly and so he didn't know the correct answer to Ning Wan's exam, but he still desperately desired as many points as possible.

In this state of mind, Fu Zheng's little secret exchange note ballooned into an entire self-reflection essay with a confession, an apology, a looking to the future, a desire to put things right, and a wish to do better next time.

The staff member hurried him along several times before he finally folded up the paper and placed it into a special secret exchange bag.

Then came the long wait and anxiety.

 

Unfortunately, what Fu Zheng wasn't expecting was that when the staff member who had taken his note walked out, he was in a great hurry. Because he had had to wait quite a while for Fu Zheng, he needed to get the note into its corresponding tree hollow quickly, and as he was rushing along he ran into his coworker at the corner.

"Sorry, so sorry!"

The coworker he had run into also had several secret bags in his hand, and they fell to the ground, all mixed up.

The staff member who had been in charge of Fu Zheng was in a hurry. He was new, still in training, and worried about working overtime that day. Remembering that his secret pouch was blue and quite thick, and seeing one of a corresponding thickness and colour on the ground, he quickly bent down and picked it up, apologized again to his coworker, and quickly ran to the tree hollow locker.

 

Ning Wan waited and waited, and finally the staff member responsible for Fu Zheng gave her the password to the tree hollow locker in which Fu Zheng's secret confession was stored.

In order to protect a guest's privacy and to give them some space, each of them would read the locker's secret in a standalone room. Taking the password, Ning Wan retrieved the letter Fu Zheng had written to her with anxiety and nervousness.

It was a very thick letter. When she saw how thick it was, she felt like Fu Zheng urely had some enormous big secret. Feeling serious, Ning Wan carefully opened the bag and what caught her eye was--

What ugly handwriting!!!

So surprised by the dense scrawl confronting her, Ning Wan almost flung the letter away.

The community was now promoting a paperless office, so they entered most of the consultation records straight into the computer. Ning Wan had never seen Fu Zheng write before, except for his signature...

But that fellow's signature looked bold and clear, it could almost be said to be as straight and tall as a pine tree, why were all his other characters so ugly?!

In the past, Shao Lili had once thought that her usual writing was too childish and not nearly lawyerly enough, so she had bought a design for her signature online. After practicing hard according to the design for a while, her every signature was indeed very imposing, but the moment she wrote anything else, it would go back to the original.

It was just that Shao Lili's handwriting was merely childish, not... not like Fu Zheng's...

Truly so ugly...

Even through Ning Wan's boyfriend filter, she still sighed. It was just so bad...

It was said that 'Words resemble the person'. Fu Zheng had such writing, yet he could still grow up looking like that. Such plastic surgery had to be a gift...

However ugly handwriting aside, such dense, long content could no longer be called a note. It was almost a letter, and it showed how serious he was about this secret exchange.

Ning Wan opened Fu Zheng's secret uneasily and was shocked by the very first sentence--

I've been lying to you.

? ? ?

Anxiety riddled Ning Wan's heart. How... how had Fu Zheng lied to her? If he had lied about something that was a matter of principle, then no matter how much she liked him, it couldn't be overlooked!

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Fortunately, the second sentence... allowed Ning Wan to breathe a sigh of relief?

"In fact, I'm not mature and steady at all. My usual appearance is a fake. In reality, I'm super scared of the dark and of ghosts, and I'm a crybaby too. As a man, I'm really ashamed to admit to these weaknesses, but still, I want to be frank with you. I hope that you can like who I really am."

"Although they say men should protect women, I think this is a stereotype. There... there are times when I long to lean on your shoulder and be protected by you..."

……

After reading that whole long rambling letter, Ning Wan felt a little complicated.

This really was a rather spicy little secret.

She had never dreamed that Fu Zheng might be hiding a delicate, sensitive, girlish heart under his mature and steady appearance. And to be a crybaby, too?

Although it was somewhat strange to imagine Fu Zheng leaning on her shoulder, crying pitifully yet lovably like a pear blossom covered with raindrops, Ning Wan had been working in the community for a long time and was a very tolerant person. When she thought about the scene of Fu Zheng, who was about 1.8 metersIn freedom units: 5'9" tall, clinging to her 1.5 or 1.6 meter5' self like a little birdThis is specifically an idiom of a small woman clinging to a man, like those stereotypical movie scenes where a girl snuggles a guy's arm cutely, and her comforting him like a overbearing president, "Don't cry, man!", it didn't seem unacceptable?

And what was more, Fu Zheng had been willing to take the initiative to embrace her and to confess his secret to her. That was a very courageous act!

Ning Wan felt that she would have wanted to support him anyway.

So long as it wasn't cheating or loan fraud or something questionable like that, she actually felt like it was quite understandable.

On top of that, Fu Zheng's letter was mottled with dried tear stains, telling her that when writing this letter, Fu Zheng had probably wept miserably.

Just thinking about it, Ning Wan felt a little sorry for him. It was sad to think of a man with fragile heart pretending to be strong every day, going against his true character, never able to let his guard down...

Therefore, when she met him once again at the meeting point, her heart was full of affection.

Fu Zheng, in contrast, was rather stiff. Maybe it was because he had just confessed his biggest secret, but he looked quite nervous. When he saw Ning Wan, he seemed a little unnatural. "Did you read it?"

Ning Wan nodded, "I did."

Appearing a little cautious, Fu Zheng ventured, "And are you still willing to..."

Ning Wan interrupted, staring at him and saying seriously, "I am."

Even for Fu Zheng, at that moment he seemed a little stunned. "Don't you mind? I lied to you."

"I don't mind." Ning Wan smiled gently, and cleared her throat. "Although you did lie, you didn't do so from a place of ill-will. It was just a mistake, and I can understand how even though you've had many opportunities for confession, you might not have been able to do it due to the pressure. After all, if you had confessed something like this to me formally, I might not have been able to accept it."

After all, for a man to confess to being a crybaby would be really hard to do in person.

Upon hearing her words, Fu Zheng's tense expression immediately broke into relief. He seemed to have been waiting for a storm, yet in the end received only a gentle breeze and drizzle. He looked as though he was overwhelmed with both gratitude and mixed feelings--

"I'm sorry. It was my fault for lying to you regardless, but it's true that I like you. No matter who I am, I want to be with you."

He gently raised her hand and kissed it lightly.

Ning Wan had not expected him to do that, and her heart sped up. Fu Zheng, seriously, hadn't you just confessed that you were a crybaby with a girlish, fragile heart? Why were you still pretending to be a charming, mature gentleman? And on top of that, quite a similar pretense to before, with the teasing and the invisible allure.

"Now that you've made everything clear, no need to pretend in front of me in the future. Just do what you feel."

Fu Zheng was stunned. "Are you sure?"

"Of course! No need to hide, just be genuine and honest! Boldly be yourself!"

……