Chapter 30: 30. Revelations

=::= Mira's PoV =::=

Was this all just an act, or did I see Emma Carter as a mother-figure to me? Did I want to call her 'mom'?

Such simple questions, and they should have had simple answers. Of course she wasn't my mother. I was a demon, I lived and died two millennia before she was even born.

That life wasn't even so distant for me. From my perspective it was only five months ago that I was a demon living happily on Thera, until that final trip to visit my mater. Four months ago I woke up in my villa and believed it to be some form of purgatory. Last month Mara joined me in there and immediately freed us both.

Beyond that, I'd only just met Emma Carter and her partner Carol Ingram. Granted I'd seen them both in some of my dreams during my four months of purgatory, I knew who they were. And I knew how Mara felt towards them, but my own feelings should have been neutral at best.

Instead, the moment we first stepped in through the door I wanted to hug her and greet her just as warmly as Mara had. Despite having never met her before that moment I felt like I'd known her all my life. My feelings for her were as strong as my feelings for my own mater.

It was the same when I first met Mara's girlfriends. Everyone who was important to her felt important and familiar to me too. Except none of them knew me, and it would have been highly inappropriate for me to act as familiar with them as Mara was. So I kept my distance, and kept my feelings to myself.

Now we were all sitting in the den of our human mom's house, Mara was cuddled between Susan and Melissa while Amber sat on the floor and played with Pumpkin and Spice. Farah was curled up on her bed by our mom's feet as she sat in her favourite chair. Carol was next to mom in the other chair, the two joined the rest of us after finishing their conversation.

And despite being surrounded by familiar faces, I sat alone at the end of the sofa to Melissa's right. I had another sip of my drink and wondered once more why I was here, how I was alive again, and what it all meant.

There was some idle talk around the room and I listened in but didn't participate.

Melissa was turning twenty in a few days, Mara would be cooking a big meal for the family dinner tonight, and yes there would be cake. Then on the day itself, Mara and her three girlfriends would have another, more intimate celebration at home. I'd be there too, observing from the side-lines but not part of the group. Mara and I were almost identical in every way, except I was not part of the DLP.

"Mira?" our human mom asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I suddenly realized she'd been staring at me as I sat quietly contemplating the others. "How about you and I go have that talk now? We'll get it out of the way before Mara takes over the kitchen."

I did my best not to let any panic show in my expression as I replied, "Very well."

She led the way and I followed her back into the kitchen. We both brought our drinks, and I had another gulp of mine as I sat down once more at the kitchen table. I was in Mara's spot this time, directly across from our human mom.

"What was it you wanted to discuss?" I asked in a calm, polite tone.

She had a sip of her wine as she watched me. Her eyes were sharp, and even if I didn't feel like I already knew her I'd have guessed she was smart, observant, and wise.

Our human mom set her glass down then asked, "You know I'm attending university, right? Do you know what I'm studying?"

"Psychology," I replied. "You're in your second year. You started at university the same time Mara and Melissa began college."

She nodded, "Do you know why? Do you remember what I was researching this time last year?"

I felt anxious but I wasn't quite sure why, and stalled by taking another gulp of my cooler before finally answering.

"You were looking into case studies of alleged demonic possession, and reading up on plurality. That's when more than a single self shares a physical body."

Our human mom nodded again but stayed quiet for a moment as she looked at me.

I gulped once more and added softly, "I'm not sure how I remember that? From my perspective, a year ago I was living in the Aegean. Imperator Caesar Vespasianus Augustus was the ruler of the Roman Empire, and my mater Lilith lived near Neapolis."

Our human mom gave me a sympathetic smile as she responded, "Taking everything you and Mara have told me at face value, if you died in seventy-nine CE and were reincarnated as my child, then you've been a part of her life from the moment she was born. Even if you only woke up or became self-aware four or five months ago, you've been with her all along. It's not surprising that you would share some of her memories, especially since she seems to share some of yours."

My eyes widened as her words suddenly made sense of all the mixed-up thoughts and feelings I'd been experiencing over the past month. Whether I was aware of it or not I'd been with Mara throughout her life, so of course I had strong feelings for our human mother. That also explained the feelings I had for the other members of the DLP. I experienced those things with Mara even if I wasn't aware of it at the time.

It was probably only the last few months, when I became aware of myself in my villa, that I became disconnected from the rest of Mara's life. From then on I saw only glimpses into her life during my dreams.

Mom seemed to know what I was thinking, and she could also tell I was shaken by the revelation.

Her expression shifted from sympathy to compassion as she said, "I don't know anything about magic, but you and Mara walking around in separate bodies today doesn't change the fact that you two would have shared a lifetime together."

"We're not all that separate even now," I responded quietly. "Both bodies are shared, and our minds remain connected. I can join her and our mater in that body, Mara can join me in this one. All three of us can meet in our mater's apartment, and we can venture into my villa together."

She didn't appear surprised. Instead she nodded slightly, "You mentioned that earlier, that was the clue that helped me understand."

I frowned, "That's the second time you said you understood. Would you explain it to me please?"

She hesitated, "I will, but it might upset you."

"All right," I replied as I mentally braced myself. I wasn't sure why she thought her words might bother me, but I tried to be prepared for whatever it might be.

"You may have been Lily's daughter in a past life, assuming reincarnation is real and works the way Mara seems to think it does," she stated softly. "Mara certainly believes she was that person in a past life, but that's not who she is now. And I don't think that's who you are either. I believe you and Mara are like two sides of the same coin. You're both from here and now, and together you're both my child. I've been watching you since you got here Mira, and I've seen so many of the same traits and body language in you as I see in her. Except for some reason you've held on to the memories of that past life, while Mara's focus has remained here in the present."

After a brief pause mom added, "I don't know why there are two of you. Perhaps that's a result of magic, or maybe it's just the way you are? Maybe sharing your body with Lily for a year opened your mind to the possibility and that led you to become your own separate self? Or maybe it's a combination of all those things. What matters though is you're both here, you're both you, and you're both important."

After she was quiet I found myself staring at my drink as I made the last connection in my mind, the part she didn't say out loud.

I wasn't really Lilith's demonic daughter who'd somehow been resurrected as an incorporeal demonic entity trapped within Mara's mind. I wasn't really born three and a half millennia ago, I wasn't really Amaritalizoth.

That's why my glyph on our ankle didn't look right. I wasn't her, so I didn't bear her true name. I was part of the modern Mara, she was part of me, and together we were the daughter of Emma Carter. We were born some twenty years ago, as a human child.

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My memories of life as a demon felt more real to me than memories of our modern life, but they were events I didn't actually participate in. I remembered being Lilith's daughter the same way Mara did, but it felt more real to me than it did to her. And my so-called reality was reflected in Mara's dreams, while the reality she shared with her family and friends was reflected in mine.

That only left two questions. How and why were we separate? And how did either of us remember that past life?

Mom put an arm around my shoulders and asked softly, "Mira? Are you ok?"

I didn't even realize she'd got up out of her chair, but she was standing next to me as she gave me a gentle hug.

With a sigh I closed my eyes and leaned my head against her side. I could feel tears threatening to spill out as everything I thought I knew about myself for the past few months came crashing down.

My emotions were all over the place, and for the next few minutes I kept my eyes closed and took some deep breaths as she held me. In the end I tried to let go of everything else as I just focused on the sensation of my mom's caring hug.

And in that moment of peace, it was like a curtain opened or a fog lifted. A bunch of hazy thoughts and feelings suddenly became clear, and at least one of those questions suddenly had an answer.

I looked up at her and exclaimed, "It was the tea!"

She blinked, "I'm sorry?"

"Susan's magic tea," I responded.

By that point I wasn't just talking with our mom. Both Mara and our mater were listening as well. I was aware of them sitting together on the big leather sofa in our mind. They were keeping quiet, but they'd been paying attention to the conversation.

"The magic tea worked," I explained. "We've had access to our mater's power as long as she's been within us, and we inadvertently used some of that power to make the magic tea way more effective than it would have been on its own."

I continued, "The first memories we connected to were of our past death. It was abrupt, traumatic, and upsetting. The experience was almost too much for Mara. Her focus returned to the present, while I stayed connected with the past. I relived that past life while Mara handled our present life, and when we met in our dreams we exchanged information and memories."

Mom's eyes widened slightly. She sat down at the table again and nodded, "I see. Do you know why you relived that past life? If it was that upsetting, why was it so important that one of you needed to experience it first-hand?"

I continued watching her, but took a moment to check inside. Like mom, mater appeared upset and worried. Mara had an arm around her though, she was hugging mater while they both listened in with interest.

After another deep breath I responded, "Once we knew how our previous life ended, as soon as we knew who was behind it, we realized our mater and Armaros would cross paths again sooner or later. So I stayed behind and relived our past life, and I learned all I could about Armaros, demons, and demonic magic. And when the moment came, Mara and I were able to use that knowledge to save us all."

"Save you from what?" mom asked nervously.

She didn't know what happened at the cottage last month so she didn't know what I meant about saving everyone. Mara spoke up next, and her voice came from the kitchen doorway rather than inside my mind.

"That's how come I'm still here!" my twin self stated. "That's why I didn't die or vanish or whatever, when the tattoo was destroyed!"

"What?" mom gasped.

Mara moved to join me and mom at the table, she slipped into the seat next to me and continued "Because half of me was anchored deep inside our mind! It wasn't purgatory or a prison, your villa was like a safe-house! It was hidden behind Lily's apartment, keeping you protected and grounded to our mater! And the two of us are tied together right? So when I got cut loose from the body, instead of being lost I just joined back up with you where it was safe!"

My eyes widened as a smile formed on my lips, "Right! That makes perfect sense! I was hidden away where Armaros couldn't find me even if he knew to look, which he obviously didn't since he didn't even know you were there when you were right under his nose! I fed you the knowledge you needed to lock him away, then instead of killing you that blast of magic just knocked you back inside with me!"

We were both grinning happily by that point, like we were totally on the same page as we figured out that last mystery together. It almost felt like another curtain had fallen away and some of our thoughts and emotions had synched up. Like a barrier we never even knew existed before had just disappeared, and suddenly we were even closer than ever.

Meanwhile our mom looked like she had a million more questions, and mater just looked kind of stunned. Like sure, me and Mara saved the day and saved each other, and yeah we kinda sorta planned the whole thing in our sleep back in March, after drinking some magic tea.

Ok maybe that's all lies, maybe it wasn't a big seven-month-long plan and maybe we just got lucky. But between her intuitive leaps and my past-life research, and the way we both focused on and remembered the important stuff, we totally had it covered.

"Hey!" Mara stated with wide eyes. "I bet this is why we both felt like crap the first day you had that body, right? Like before we signed the new pact? We're supposed to be together, but for half a day we were completely disconnected from each other!"

My eyes widened again too, "You're right! We were split apart, and it sucked! I thought it was because mater used too much energy, since it started when she created this new body? But it ended the moment we both signed the new pact!"

Mara grinned, "Because that reconnected us!"

I smiled back, and next thing I knew she'd leaned forward and pulled me into a tight hug.

As she held me she said quietly, "There's a lot of other stuff we need to figure out, and we need to talk with Lily too. But we should probably save that till later, ok?"

I agreed, "We're supposed to be celebrating Melissa's birthday, and it's almost time to get dinner ready."

"I'll get started on the food, you and mom go be social?" Mara suggested as she finally let go of me.

"Let's all do both," I decided.

Carol, Susan, Melissa, and Amber ended up joining mom at the kitchen table, while Mara and I moved to the stove and counters. I didn't have much first-hand experience in the kitchen, but my other half told me what to do and the two of us worked together as a team.

And while we prepared dinner, Mara and I and our human mom tried to explain to everyone else what the heck happened to us over the past seven or eight months.

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