Chapter 13: Long time no see

I feel a little better after saying these words out loud. It seems like the weight that I was carrying all this time lessened a little.

But just when I was to relax, I feel like a hypocrite saying this. Isn't it, everything I just said to make myself feels better?

'You are great Alex there just doesn't exist a better person to make yourself feel more pathetic than yourself'

"Sigh.."

Some people say that *your worst enemy is yourself*. This idea seems really on point when it comes to me.

Trying to look at the moon to calm myself. I feel like punching my stupid brain for thinking too much.

But the more, I tried to calm myself the more agitated I became. Finally, I couldn't hold it anymore and punched the wall near me in anger.

"whoosh...boom!"

Directly making a hole the size of my hand in the gazebo.

"oops"

I run away.

Who would have thought that my needle-like arms could punch a hole through it?

Well, I surely didn't ...

Lightly sprinting through the park, I decided that it was time to return.

It would be problematic if someone saw that I am not in my room. Obviously, that is assuming they already didn't know..

It's nice to run again as someone that always has to be in perfect physical condition. The morning workout was a routine for me. The inability to freely move was really messing with my psych.

The exit doors were already in my sight. I hope they aren't locked. It wouldn't be weird if they closed the park for the night.

Well, it was already dark when I entered so...

But now, I don't see any people around.

Hmmm, am I in trouble?

In half-rushed steps pulling a handle....or maybe not.

At this exact moment, someone opened a door. Me being surprised and unable to grasp a handle. I lost my stability. Instinctively bringing out my hands to the front to protect myself from the fall.

Thankfully hitting the wall because the corridor was quite narrow.

But accidentally pulling someone along...

Alice POV

Opening a door to the garden only to be pinned to the wall soon after. Was surely something, I didn't expect to happen.

The only thing that stopped me from screaming was familiar pair of red eyes that seems to hold an unusual feeling of coldness, today.

Kate, she changed a lot. I didn't see her all week long. But her eyes didn't change...

After our last meeting? I didn't see her at all and the next day, I was transferred somewhere else to the second floor.

I finally got what I wanted to demonstrate my abilities with almost no supervision. But I wasn't happy about that...

Not certain why exactly and not sure why now, I am too embarrassed to look straight at her.

"Long time no see Alice..."

She said to me in a slow, calm voice.

She's definitely angry.

I don't do anything....

Well, maybe that is the reason.

"Hey...K.."

It's hard when she's standing so close. But why she's even standing so close? I feel like a sheep stared at by a wolf. We didn't see each other for so long and she is no longer my patient so it's kind of awkward.

"Hm?"

She raised one of her eyebrows, seemingly waiting for me to finish my sentence.

"Kate"

I finally said it. Making her expression a little less frosty.

She doesn't look at all like this poor, cute girl that couldn't even walk before. We are almost the same height but now when she closes me in a small space between her arms, I feel like she is towering over me.

"Can you move a little?"

I said hoping that she will let me go.

I'm not sure but it seems that her eyes glinted for a second there and with her tone of voice, I could easily recognize it. 'She wants to tease me.'

She took one step almost making our bodies touch.

"Why is that?"

She said trying to sound pretty confused but didn't hide her sarcasm.

With no space, I was forced to look directly at her. She didn't miss that and directly stared into my eyes. I am sure she is aware that's making me really uncomfortable.

But she's doing that, particularly because of this.

"Why are you staring at me so much?"

I was finally said, unable to keep eye contact anymore.

"Me? I am not staring at you. You are staring at me."

She said as a matter of fact with her characteristic smirk.

I really couldn't bear her shamelessness anymore and said with a voice full of courage.

"So..let me go."

"Well I am not holding you or anything so you can go, naturally"

She said but with no real intention of really moving.

"You know?"

"What's that?"

"You are the worst Kate"

I said smiling at her. Finally, understand that she is messing with me. 'you are so shameless why can't I?'.

She suddenly looked hurt by my words. But I know that she's only pretending.

"Alice I didn't know that you can say something like that to the same person. You forget to even say goodbye..."

That made me guilty. But I don't know why maybe because I was a little frustrated but I said:

"It's your fault!"

She looked at me with interest surely thinking of what weird logic was hidden behind these words.

"So tell me, please why my doctor suddenly changed and you didn't even tell me about it beforehand?"

She said raising one of her eyebrows in the process.

That was a serious question, I just know because her voice become colder again.

"Well. I didn't know too, it just happened."

I said telling a truth.

"Then why is that my fault?"

She asked getting straight to the point.

I shook my hands trying to convey to her that I didn't mean it that way.

"No... No, I mean that I mean...."

After a long time, I just couldn't admit the reason why I didn't meet with her even though we kinda become friends during the time we spent together. It's pretty stupid and she will surely laugh at me.

I feel like escaping right now. 'I am not good at this' I thought seeing her increasingly impatient expression.

Suddenly she came even closer to me.'Is that even possible?' and said in a hushed voice.

"If you don't tell me I will not let you go"

Surprisingly making my heart skip a beat. But after a moment. She audible sighed and backed away from me. Turning her back to me saying:

"Whatever, I don't care anymore"

She walked away just like that...

I..Stayed there still supporting my back on the wall not moving.

'I screw up, didn't I?'

'Fuck'

But.....

I run away after her. It's just, I have a feeling that if I don't do anything now. We will never talk again.

'She is just like that.'

Entering a lobby, I saw her entering an elevator and quickened my steps.

Only for the doors to shut up in my face. Leaving me with only a glimpse of Kate's disinterested look.

It really hurts if someone you know suddenly looks at you like a complete stranger.

My strong will suddenly fell drastically and I was feeling like giving up. 

'It's too late, she already hates me '

But when, I thought about a girl that is called a "miracle" by doctors because of a sudden unexplained, impossible recovery.

I'm unwilling. I am curious about her. Want to know more? Most of the time I'm trying to not get personally involved with my patients. The professionalism that's my motto.

My work and civil life are clearly separated.

But I can't help myself but wants to make friends with her. There indeed occurred some problematic things in the past. She surely didn't like me at first.

But...

The thing is, I got a feeling that the shell that she built around herself was slowly cracking around me.

So that is why now, I will not give up.

Kate POV

Leaning on the wall of the elevator. I was pretty confused and a little angry. I just don't understand.

Well, maybe I am just too stupid. Yes, I am pretty good at reading people.

But when it comes to people, I know closer. My brain is just confused because there are just too many possibilities.

Maybe I was too aggressive? I am not really in the mood today and seeing her, I wanted to get back at her for making me sad earlier.

Do you know?

She was the first person, I got to know on this planet and it's not like I blame her for a sudden change. It's just she could say to me something?

Dunno, I guess I was just thinking too much and I am just another patient she will forget. Well, she already did that so that doesn't matter anymore.

I honestly thought that with this body it will be easier to befriend a girl. But I guess it doesn't matter what world I'm in. I just don't have a talent for that.

"Ding, you arrived at the fifth floor"

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Said a feminine mechanical voice and I left an elevator.

Now how do I enter back the patient's area? I was planning to use an Alice card but now it seems to be impossible.

Well let's improvise, should we?

I started walking but this time, I especially didn't walk through the lobby. But took a detour to the patient's area. If I walked through there someone, I know would surely recognize me.

When Kate was hospitalized it was always on the fifth floor so she knows pretty well this area.

Moving through corridors, I had trouble keeping my eyes open. It's really late now so it isn't strange. I am still used to sleeping for a long while.

Suppressing a yawn, I keep moving. Walking in the direction of the patient's area. Even though, I knew that I don't have a way to get in.

'I will deal with that when I am there '

I thought as I moved leisurely through the empty halls.

Almost at my destination, I took a right turn finally finding what, I was looking for.

But unexpectedly someone was already waiting for me there...

I didn't really look at that before but she seems to be after her shift if a leather jacket and white trousers that she's wearing could signalize that.

'Isn't she quite stylish?'

I thought as I turned away not really wanting to deal with that.

I already draw an "X" on her name. It's too late. I didn't really care about her excuses.

But how could it be so simple?

Seeing me she instantly trotted towards me.

"Kate wait"

But I didn't stop.

"Wait..."

I heard a voice behind me once again and was forcefully stopped when she took one of my sleeves.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry wait please....."

Her voice seems to crack a little when she said that.

I on the other hand was annoyed and struggled her hand off me. Keep walking.

On the outside, I looked perfectly calm but inside it was like a volcano was ready to burst out.

'I don't care, I don't care.....I don't...'

I was telling myself that and walked a little faster because I didn't know if I could move again...after...

"Please just give me a minute."

She said taking a hold of one of my hands.

I stopped and couldn't muster myself to move again. Still with my back to her. I was so sad? I was afraid that I would really cry.

'This body is so useless'

I thought as I wiped my moist eyes with my left free sleeve.

'I don't want to care but I can't not to '

She was just to stand before me but I turned away from her again.

'She can't see me like that, nobody can '

But she didn't give up and this time a little more aggressive with the help of the hand that she was still holding me, forcefully turned me around.

I couldn't master any strength.

After she finally saw me. Saw my ugly expressions.

She hugged me.

I was so overwhelmed. I just can't control it. As much as I said to myself how much I hate it. I hugged her back.

At that time, I couldn't see the world around me and could hear her softly saying:

"It's okay, It's okay, It's my fault..."

'It's really weird I didn't expect a situation to escalate to this point '

In the empty corridor with almost no light. Two figures were illuminated by the moon making the atmosphere a little ambiguous.

If someone saw them right now. Most would think that this scene was really heartwarming "What great friends they are".

But some people would just smirk seeing these two girls hugging. What was on their minds? Who knows...

After calming myself. I separated from her and said with a softer voice.

"Just a minute"

Hearing that I am finally willing to listen. She smiled and took a deep breath to prepare herself.

With a little embarrassment, she said.

"Actually it's pretty stupid it's just that I am a little awkward and..."

I saw that she still had trouble saying this. So I smiled at her encouragingly. All the anger I feel before faded. Finally becoming aware that maybe just maybe...I was too hastily.

Getting hugged = happy. I am a really simple guy when it comes to this.

Well I guess, I'm simp too.

But well it's just how I feel...

"I don't know, I was a little shy meeting with you again, after the last time."

She said nervously looking at the ground and taping a ground with her shoe.

"and I didn't know if you would like to meet with me again, as you know...You would no longer be my patient"

The longer she talked the lower her voice was getting. Forcing me to walk a little closer..

"So I didn't have a reason to visit you. You know an official reason..."

My brain was already overworked and had trouble understanding what she is saying. But when I finally processed it. I was dumbfounded.

I don't know if I got it right but like what? She was shy so she didn't say bye to me. That's this big secret?

She looked at me nervously waiting for my response.

"You know what Alice you are fucking stupid~"

She blinked at me several times making sure that she heard that right.

Using my pointing finger and placing it in the middle of her ribcage, pushing a little. I walked close making her step back.

"Yes you heard that right, you are fucking stupid Alice."

Making her eyes stare at me in disbelief.

Finally pushing her to the wall I said.

"If you ever again make me sad because of such a stupid reason, I will...."

"You will what?"

She looked at me challengingly. Just a moment ago she looked so confused.

But now there was a fire in her eyes.

I don't know but when she looks at me like that. I want to pin her to the wall. I'm not usually like that even though, I wouldn't call myself a bottom. I am on the more passive side. So that surprised me.

Taking my finger off her. Placing my hands behind me. Strengthening my posture. I walked a little closer.

"Don't try me"

I said to her with a voice that screamed "danger". Intensively looking into either other eyes. Finally making her eyes look downward.

"You know I knew you would do that"

She said to me.

I looked at her for a second and said.

"If you would tell me in the first place. This wouldn't happen"

"I made you cry"

She said now looking at me with an interest.

I am ashamed of that and tried not to show it on my face. When I answered.

"No, you didn't"

I said with a natural tone of voice.

"I did and you even hugged me"

She said teasingly.

"Well you are wrong here you hugged me"

I said still not breaking my poker face

"Ha~ say whatever you want. In the end, you still know the truth."

She looked at me with a grin of victory on her face.

"Eh? Whatever I am going"

I don't have a payback on that so I strategically retreated.

"Wait"

"What?"

"So are we good now?"

She asked a little unsurely.

I left her hanging for an answer and when I was finally at the door. I turned back to her.

"Do you really think that I would talk to you if we weren't alright ?"

I answered with a little bit of sarcasm.

She looked clearly pissed off when I said that. But for me, she is quite cute when she makes that expression.

"You know what Kate? Did someone ever tell you that you are really annoying?"

It was hard to hold myself from grinning. But I managed.

"Well you are the first one to tell me that in this world"

The words were "full of meaning" but only I could understand them.

Before she said anything again I said.

"Alice, can I borrow your key card for a second?"

"Why would you need it?"

She asked a little doubtfully. Still a little angry.

"I will not take it just show me please~"

I asked her sweetly.

She was surprised by my sudden change in behavior and looked at me intensely. But still, she handed me her card after pondering for a moment.

"Why do you even need....?"

She didn't finish her sentence because I swiftly opened a door with it and handed it back to her.

"Thanks, I have to go bye."

I said and moved through to the door. But before they closed automatically. I hear her saying.

With a little distress.

"Wait don't you have a pass?"

Hearing that I turned around and with a smug expression I said:

"Pass? what is that?"

Looking one last time behind me. Seeing her shocked expression like she just realize something. I was in a good mood and disappeared behind the next corner....

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