Chapter 28: Chapter 28

“Lunch is ready boys~” Andrea sang as she stuck her head out of the patio door.

Things seemed to loosen up around here.

Juliano was back to laughing and talking to them, but he just greeted the girls and Lilith.

They sat around the table, prayed, then ate. Everyone was talking and Juliano was taking part too, but he couldn’t help but think about his past. These people have been a part of his life and helped him grow as a person, but now, as he is about to venture into the unknown, he didn’t want to leave questions behind, especially with Lilith. He loved her; he knew he did, but physically, he couldn’t be with her.

Clearing his throat, he said, “I have something to say.”

Everyone went immediately quiet. They turned to him and waited.

Juliano took a sip from the mango juice that was served with the lunch.

Smiling at them, he said, “I suggested we go on this outing because it might be our last as a group.”

Andrew chuckled. “Why are you making it sound so serious? We can always hook up once it is the holidays.”

Juliano looked at him and shook his head. “I’m moving back to America.”

It went silent again, then everyone turned to look at Lilith and saw that she was conflicted.

“This isn’t something I thought of overnight. I made my mind up two years ago that I wanted to move back,” he explained.

“But, but, we applied to the same universities. You are bound to get answers soon, especially with your grades,” Lilith said, pulling on the last threads of hope, but they snapped at hearing his next words.

Looking into her eyes, he said, “No. I lied to you. I never applied to any of the universities here. In fact, I already received an answer from the university I wanted to go to.”

“Romeo what, what do you mean?” She asked. The tears started falling as she looked at him in disbelief.

“I was going to tell you after the spring formal, but I don’t think I want to go,” he explained.

“But we, we’ve been together for four years already. How could you do this to me?” She asked and stood up.

Juliano grabbed her by the wrist and forced her back down, saying, “Just sit there and listen. I told you I have something to tell you.”

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Lilith struggled, trying to get her wrist loose, but he was gripping her.

After she gave up, he let her go. Sighing, he rubbed his nose and said, “Nothing anyone of you can say will change my mind.”

“But this doesn’t mean that you won’t visit, right?” Garreth asked.

“I’ll try, but I’m uncertain,” he said.

It went quiet for a while as he tried to form the words that needed to come out. His mind was wandering so much that it brought tears to his eyes.

His friends grew worried and, as they wanted to say something, Damien stopped them with a glare.

He sat forward and wiped the tears away. He drank the juice finished in his glass then sat back and looked at them and started, “I, when I was seven, I was at school one day and I went to the toilet because I badly needed it. I must have just finished using it when I heard someone calling my name. And as I wanted out, I saw a woman that I didn’t know. She smiled at me and told me that my teacher was looking for me and that I should hurry. I was worried that something had happened and so I rushed out, but that’s when I was grabbed from behind and she put a cloth over my face. After that, I don’t know what happened.”

He looked at their faces and could tell that they were freaked out by what he had just said.

He took Damien’s water and drank from it. Wiping his mouth, he continued, “Then I woke up, and I was in a room I didn’t recognize. They filled it with dolls and pictures of a girl that I didn’t know. Immediately after I woke up, someone came into the room and she told me not to be afraid, that I was safe and that nothing would happen to me as long as I listened to them. I wasn’t stupid. I knew I wasn’t safe, and that she was right. If I listened, I wouldn’t get hurt. I asked her where my parents were and she told me to forget about them, that I was going to be part of their family and I would have to go by their rules. I’d be spoiled if I wanted to and that I could ask for anything. She left me alone for sometime then returned and brought me food. After food, she forced these medicines down my throat and pinches me when I didn’t want to open my mouth. They left me alone for I don’t know how long and then I needed to use the toilet. The room I was in had its own bathroom, so I used that, and after I was finished, she and the woman who abducted me came in to give me a bath.”

Juliano tilted his head to the left and rubbed his neck. It felt like something was walking on him the longer he thought about what had happened.

Continuing, he said, “After that, they dressed me up and took me out of that room down a hallway filled with family portraits. We reached the master bedroom, and they knocked on the door. A man opened the door and the smile he had when he saw me was something I’d never forget. He picked me up, kissed me on the lips and said he had been waiting to meet me since he knew I existed, which had been over a year. The two women were told to leave by him. He carried me to the bed and threw me on it. I must have gotten such a fright when I landed, because the first thing I did was try to get away from him. I ended up by the headboard between the pillows and when I looked back at him, he had taken off his shirt.”

Juliano’s skin felt like it had insects biting it and he started scratching his arm. 

Damien reached over and placed his hand on his to stop him from scratching and said, “You can hold my hand if you like.”

Nodding his head slowly, he took Damien’s hand in his and brought it under the table. He intertwined their fingers and as he calmed down he continued, “Then you can say we basically played cat and mouse on the bed with him catching me in the end, but it doesn’t stop there. He first held me down to calm me and when I had stopped crying, that’s when he took my clothes off.”

Swallowing, he said, “His tongue was in places it shouldn’t be. He forced himself into my mouth and places he shouldn’t be, and it didn’t end there. I was missing for three days before someone rescued me and in those three days, it wasn’t only him but his daughters, his wife, him, his friends, their families, all of them repeatedly, especially him—they raped me.”

Recalling these memories, speaking about it, and keeping his emotions in check made him exhausted.

Sighing, he said, “I’m not comfortable around other people. That’s why I don’t go to parties. I don’t like to be touched or sit next to people if I don’t know them. My family, Damien, Lilith, it took me years to accept them. I like to be touched but not by someone I’m uncomfortable with, holding hands with Damien, you all thought I was weird but he is one of the few people allowed to touch me and Lilith, we don’t kiss, we’ve never had sex and we’ve never been naked. It’s not that I don’t love you, I do, but what I went through is hard. Sometimes I don’t even want to get out of bed because I have to look at people, smile, speak to them. Those little things are hard and truthfully speaking, I don’t know whether I’m gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual any of the orientations. What I know is that I have met no one that has made me forget what happened to me in the past and that is who I want to be with. I’m leaving because I need to find that person and to be free of my trauma. And as for all of our friendships, I don’t think I can continue it. I know I’ve never let you in, but none of you besides Damien has given me the assurance that you are here to stay in my life.”

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