Chapter 2: Ch2: Open Fire!

All this stuff you've been doing is sort of just bullshit. Stop dumping all our money into the ocean.

I don't fucking care! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

-Me

Just now

"I really really hate Mondays," A random guy was saying, just before being exploded into a million pieces.

"I agree," another guy said before being vaporized into a blood red mist.

'Place your tower down and open fire!' The Sergeant's words echoed through Emil's mind as they rushed out onto the battlefield, swerving and ducking out of the way of bullets and explosions.

Thousands of miles away monsters were being funneled into a winding path which led to this very spot. The landscape could only be described as a wasteland, cratered from explosions and the other horrors of war. The monsters streaming towards them looked like they were either designed by some master artist who sold paints and sculptures for billions of dollars, or a mentally challenged child of simple mind and skill to match. Perhaps they were the product of monster incest. Or maybe even rape. The point is they were abstract, but in a deep way. Trust me guys they looked really cool. No really.

"Open fire you pussies!" The Sergeant screamed as he pulled out his assault rifle and sprayed down wave after wave of enemies single handedly. Thousands of soldiers had already died due to friendly fire.

Emil dodged bullets and crazy demonic magic projectiles while trying to find a place for his tower. He wasn't liking the look of the monsters one bit. He could tell they were giving him the 'fuck me' eyes, just like his stepdad in real life. He knew if they got his hands on him there would only be one outcome: GAY RAPE, prison style. Eventually he gave up looking for the perfect spot and settled for the closest bend in the path.

He placed down a stary blue crystal covered in a thin white mucus. It ballooned into the air with massive basketball sized tumors, taking the vague shape of a tower. A stay bullet popped one of the pustules and caused them all to explode with a domino effect. Thick white puss that sprayed over the battlefield. Emil shielded his eyes as waves of greasy puss washed over him.

Once it was over he lowered his arm to discover a pristine blue tower which looked as if it contained the stary night sky within. He climbed the ladder up to the top all while a storm of projectiles whizzed past him in every direction, cutting off single strands of his hair like in an anime. Everyone was focusing their fire on him. 

"You can do it!" His Sergeant called to him while spraying bullets wildly in his general direction before being incinerated by a massive fireball.

"I'll do it for you Sarge," Emil whispered under his breath, as a single tear fell from his beautiful handsome style face.

At least he reached the top of the tower. Here the magic power of the stars protected him from all bullets and explosions. They harmlessly bounced off a protective field, rendered perfectly inert.

"Alright sparky! It's time!" Emil shouted gleefully.

The dog's about rose out of the back of his hand and coughed up a full dragunov 7.62mm sniper rifle and 32 boxes of ammunition. This was the preferred weapon of contract killers and Bitcoin assassins.

He aimed his rifle but there was no one to shoot. The wave was already over.

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