Chapter 7: An Emi Christmas Part II – Dragon

“So, young Mio chan, I’m confused about something,” Emi began, holding the cake up like a candy apple and nibbling around the edges.

“What is that?” Mio glanced up from her own slice of cake.

“How did you learn how to bake this pâtissier delight?” Emi studied the piece of cake intently. “Firm, yet moist and fluffy. Sweet, yet savory. The chocolate is more chocolatey than chocolate has a right to be, and the bunny is adorable and sweet.” Emi nibbled the rabbit’s ears off, a bit of chocolate inadvertently getting on the tip of her nose. “You can tell me your secrets, now, Mio chan. The rabbit can’t hear you.”

“Do you do that to all candy rabbits?” Mio asked as Emi’s tongue flicked out and over the tip of her nose and whisked the chocolate back into her mouth. “How did you do that?”

“Too many questions at once, Mio chan,” Emi tsked. “We mustn’t overwork a mature woman’s mind while it is being drowned in sweet, sweet dopamine. Strange and embarrassing things may come out and she cannot be held accountable.”

“Is that so?” Mio took another bite of her cake.

“Indubitably,” Emi nodded. “Now, to answer your first question, yes, I always eat the ears first. It’s more humane that way. To answer your second question I simply used my tongue. I have a magical tongue, you see.”

“Well, I’ve never seen anyone that can do that,” Mio admitted, struggling to touch the tip of her nose with her tongue and falling far short.

“I imagine the phenomenon is similar to how a small percentage of the population is born with vestigial tails,” Emi posited. “No one knows why this happens and why people are born with tails, but cat girls aren’t a thing.” Emi scowled at the cake and devoured the bite on her fork. “There friggin’ should be. Tell me that wouldn’t be the most awesome thing ever!”

“What? Cat girls?” Mio asked, her mind plainly considering it.

“Of course cat girls,” Emi replied.

“I mean, I suppose it would be kind of cool, but what purpose would they serve? I mean, biologically-speaking, of course.” Emi quickly wrapped her arms around Mio and hugged her tightly.

“My dear, sweet young Mio chan,” Emi shook her head and clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “There are so many purposes cat girls serve! How positively droll the question you pose is!”

“I-I’m not sure what you mean,” Mio stammered, her face growing red which caused Emi to giggle.

“Cast your mind to a perfect world” Emi wrapped her arm around Mio’s shoulder and drew her close, gesturing with her other arm at the far wall of the kitchen as if it were a vast and wild vista. “Crystal clear streams burble while a gentle sun glints down from the azure heavens onto vast fields of flowers. Can you envision this utopia?”

“Uh, yes?” Mio asked. Emi glanced at her disapprovingly and Mio clarified her remarks. “I mean, yes! I can!”

“Good,” Emi nodded, returning to the vast field of flowers somewhere beyond the kitchen walls. “Now tell me! What does the gentle and loving, not cancer giving because that’s sad and this isn’t a sad world, sun smile upon, I wonder?”

“C-Cat girls?” Mio guessed.

“Kyaaa!” Emi cried in delight “Yes! You guessed! How very clever! Of course our golden globe smiles down upon lovely, frolicking cat girls! They play and cavort while doing cat girl things! That is my perfect world and that is what this world would be if we had cat girls.”

“I guess I’m still not seeing the purpose of them,” Mio shook her head.

“Do you ask what purpose a tandem bicycle serves?” Emi peered at her inquisitively.

“I…I mean I guess I do?” Mio was very confused.

“Well, you shouldn’t, tandem bicycles are abominations,” Emi scowled. “Unlike cat girls. They’re similar, only wholly different in every way that counts. Sometimes you have to just accept that things don’t have a purpose other than to be what they are. Like a dugong. There are already sea cows. What point is having yet another variation of aquatic bovine? They’re all cute but somehow the dugong simply feels extraneous.”

“I uh, suppose you’re right,” Mio agreed.

“Well, my years of knowledge has made me wise. It comes with being a witch, after all,” Emi released her and lifted another piece of cake to her mouth.

“I thought you were a mistress of business,” Mio straightened herself and smoothed her blouse.

“An Emi such as I am many things,” Emi waved her observation away. “I’m a mistress of business, a lover, a fighter, a good friend, a formidable foe, an information broker, and a witch. I am an Emi of many talents. Though not all of them readily apparent, of course. One must always keep aces up one’s sleeves. Except when wearing a jumper with nothing on underneath. Then you have to find somewhere else to keep the aces. Preferably somewhere that doesn’t chafe.”

“I…see,” Mio, once again, did not. “You did mention you’re a lover.”

“And a biter!” Emi enthused, chomping her teeth together for emphasis. “But never on the first date! There’s a time and place, I think.”

“So…are you and my sister…together?” Mio said, wisely choosing to ignore what Emi had just said.

“You mean as in a sapphic coupling, naked bodies glistening with sweat as we move from position to position seamlessly together as outlined in my book?” Emi grinned as Mio’s face grew even redder than before and the cake on her fork quivered slightly from her trembling.

“Uh…”

“To answer your question, young Mio, we are not,” Emi giggled.

“Then why were you showing her your…er…” Mio searched for the right word but nothing she felt wasn’t supremely embarrassing came to mind.

“Hoo-hah? Quim? Lady bits? Front butt? Vaginus Emius?” Emi began rattling off names and Mio held her hands up as if to defend herself.

“Yes! I get it! That!” Mio waved her free hand in exasperated embarrassment.

“Ah,” Emi chuckled at how red Mio’s face was. “Well, I was showing her my down there hair. It is well on its way to becoming a lush grassland as befits an Emi of culture.”

“Seriously?” Mio gaped at her. “You weren’t lying?”

“Why would I lie?” Emi blinked at her.

“Because…I mean…no. Never mind,” Mio breathed in what sounded to Emi like relief. “So you aren’t dating her or, you know, anything like that?”

“Sadly for our Kasumin, she has missed her chance at corralling this wild and exotic filly,” Emi took another bite of cake. “I was a free agent Emi up until recently but now I have been confessed to.”

“Someone confessed to you?” Mio’s eyes snapped her way stared intensely.

“It’s not so hard to believe,” Emi mumbled defensively. “I am quite the catch, after all. My womanly charms are vast and…er…charming. But yes. I have been confessed to. It was, truly, a glorious thing. Like the romance scenes in Twilight if they were actually romantic. Fewer weird vampires, too.”

“I see,” Mio slumped. “So who was it?”

“Hmmm?”

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“Who confessed to you?” Mio asked, rather testily to Emi’s trained ear. “Oh! I mean, if you don’t mind telling me, that is.”

“Would that I could, young Mio,” Emi sniffled and held back invisible tears. “For, you see, even I, with my vast network of connections, have not been able to discern the identity of my possibly future beloved.”

“Huh?” Mio cocked an eyebrow quizzically.

“It was a letter left in my mailbox one crisp autumn morn not too long ago,” Emi sighed. “Terribly romantic, I assure you. I mean, right up to the point where it didn’t say who it was from. Which is romantic in and of itself in a very real way, I suppose.”

“Oh,” Mio grinned, and Emi scowled at the younger girl.

“My Emi senses are tingling,” Emi jabbed her fork at Mio. “I can sense when people are mocking me, you know. It comes with being a witch.

“I promise I’m not mocking you!” Mio exclaimed, her smile bright and beaming. Emi’s scowl deepened.

“Mmm?”

“’I have viewed you from afar as one would a precious, exquisite sculpture. Your energy and passion reverberate within my soul. I am gladdened by your joys and troubled by your losses. If I had but one wish it would be for you to share this feeling I hold within my heart. You are the dawn to the night within which I dwell, and I desire to feel your brilliance wash over me as the sun upon endless fields of pure white lilies. I long for you to be mine and to be yours in turn.’”

“Have I underestimated my opponent?” Emi murmured, mouth moving along to what Mio was saying. “How did you know what the note said? Did you read it in my mailbox somehow? Are you a witch, too?”

“Well, it wasn’t a very good note,” Mio shrugged.

“You take that back!” Emi scowled.

“I will not,” Mio sniffed, flipping her hair back disdainfully.

“Witches are not prone to violence but if you don’t take it back, I will be forced to visit the wrath of the Emi upon you!” Emi warned, putting the fork down on the plate and stepping off the stool threateningly.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Mio grinned infuriatingly, also climbing down off the stool and slipping into a defensive position. Emi scowled, and spread her arms wide, fingers jutting forward like pincers as she swayed back and forth. “Uh…what are you doing?”

“I am in my dragon stance,” Emi muttered in what she deemed to be a dangerous whisper. “Only taking back the scurrilous thing you said can prevent violence being visited upon you now, young Mio. We have an accord, but the note was beautiful, and I cannot accept you saying otherwise. If you viewed it illicitly within my post box for some reason, I could forgive you. I cannot forgive blasphemy, though! Repent!”

“That is not a dragon stance,” Mio scoffed.

“Yes, it is,” Emi insisted, flapping her arms for emphasis. “I have my wings out which makes it plainly a dragon stance.”

“I watched my sister practice for years and that is not a dragon. It’s like a… mortally wounded duck or drunken emu or something,” Mio giggled.

“I have my claws ready to strike!” Emi jabbed her fingers forward, making hissing sounds as she did. “See? It’s a dragon!”

“Drunk emu!” Mio growled in response.

“It’s a dragon and I don’t care what Kasumin does. I am an Emi of learning and I know dragons,” Emi insisted, stamping one foot irritably while continuing to flap her arms and make hissing sounds. “Take back what you said, or I shall become a dragon Emi of violence!”

“Fine!” Mio replied breezily, standing, and moving surreptitiously backward a step. “The note was poorly written drivel! HA!”

“Betrayer!” Emi howled as Mio took off running. Emi rushed forward as Mio rounded the kitchen counter, grabbing the top with her fingers to slingshot her forward and toward the living room. Mio reached the living room and was nearly past the giant sofa but had been slowed considerably due to her lack of knowledge of the layout of the house. A moment later Emi grabbed her around the waist, and they tumbled onto the wide chaise lounge. Mio giggled wildly as Emi tackled and held her down by the shoulders, putting her nearly insignificant weight into keeping Mio in place.

“Now!” Emi panted, pressing her weight further down to keep Mio in place, face coming within centimeters of Mio’s, causing the younger girl to gasp. “Apologize!”

“You seem out of breath, Emi senpai,” Mio teased, staring up into Emi’s face with a grin, trying desperately to ignore Emi’s legs on either side of her hips, Emi’s lips close to her own and Emi’s firm belly and breasts barely covered by her cat belly shirt nearly touching her own.

“I am not an Emi of physical fitness,” Emi gasped. “Sports day can kiss my ass. Now apologize!”

“Fine! Fine! I apologize! If you thought it was a good letter then that’s all that matters, right?” Mio shrugged as best she could with Emi’s hands on her shoulders.

“My honor has been assuaged,” Emi gasped and finally collapsed onto her side beside Mio, gasping for breath. “I think…yes…I think I’m having a heart attack.”

“You’re not having a heart attack,” Mio chided her.

“Ack!” Emi moaned in pain, holding her side, and writhing on the couch beside Mio. “I’m too young to die! Yet that seems to be my fate!”

“You’re not dying,” Mio scolded.

“M-Mio!” Emi gasped reaching out to run her fingers over Mio’s face searchingly. “Everything’s going dark! I-I just have to know before I pass over to the other side and achieve my final form…how did you know? How did you know what…was…in…the…letter?”

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Mio’s muffled voice asked through Emi’s hand.

“You answer a question with a question?” Emi scowled, miraculously recovering. “What are you? A politician?”

“Ew! No!” Mio shook her head vigorously. “But what are you doing today?”

“Besides dying?”

“Yes, besides dying,” Mio sighed.

“I have no plans,” Emi shrugged. “I am a solo Emi this Christmas. Too wild to be tamed.”

“Will you tame yourself enough to come with me to the celebration downtown?”

“I cannot be tamed!” Emi insisted loudly, thrusting her fist skyward as she lay on her back.

“We can get sweets and snacks,” Mio tempted her.

“Sure. Sounds fun,” the suddenly tamer Emi agreed readily. “But you still have to tell me.”

“We’ll see,” Mio giggled.

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