Chapter 90: Chapter 90: Contemplation

Chapter 90:

Contemplation

Jace took several breaths of fresh air as the rain poured outside. Standing under the awning of a balcony walkway of the hospital, the smell of rain cleared his lungs and calmed his mind. The walkway was there for patients who couldn't make it to the ground floor commons area. It was a place for them to get fresh air and walk around. It connected to a larger area with sitting arrangements and stone flowerpots with a small fountain in the center.

Leaning on the railing, Jace felt the rain upon his hand. He had just killed a man. The Ex-Director of this hospital. He didn't feel regret or guilt over it, but each life he took seemed to weigh on him just a little bit. If only because he wondered how things could have been different.

It was a strange melancholy that overcame him. Howard was a horrible man who would no longer taint this world. It was the choices one made that created who they were. If they had made any other decision, he may still be alive. He chose to try and kill Jace's mother. A sin that could not be forgiven.

The Board of Directors would also reap what they sowed. Fear would be struck in their hearts, and Jace would get what he needed from them. That was the way of the world. They made their decisions. He was their consequences. Of course, he would give them a chance.

He did this because of his mother. She was someone who could see the good in anyone. It was her greatest strength as well as her biggest flaw. Jace inherited a little bit of this himself, as he gave Black Suit a chance, which as Jace learned, was a mistake.

Those on the Board of Directors made their decision when they agreed with the Head Director. This reason alone was enough to kill them. He had the people in position to do so, but that would be too easy. Howard got it easy. A quick death. The Board of Directors wouldn't have it so easy.

While he was giving them a chance, it would be at the point of a blade. He would leash them, or they would perish. He would make them understand fear and through their reactions he would judge them. When they are on the precipice of that fear, on the edge of despair, he would give them salvation. He made a mistake with Black Suit, letting him live as he wished. He would not make the same mistake with the Board of Directors.

"Selene," Jace called softly, "Monitor them at all times. I want to know everything. From when they wake up to how many times they take a shit. Black Suit fooled me. It would be easy to just kill them, but they won't get it as easily as Howard."

"Of course, my love," Selene whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around him from behind, holding him close, "The full might of the St.Claire Family is behind you."

"I appreciate that, but..." Jace responded, glancing up at her before moving his eyes to Kiera, Liana, and Balek, "I only care if all of you are behind me."

"Always," Liana answered immediately, smiling warmly, "You idiot. Do you even need to ask that?"

"Heh...I guess not," Jace smiled, chuckling softly, relieved that Liana was still Liana.

"You only need to say the word," Kiera told him, smiling sheepishly and wrapping an arm around Liana.

"Thank you," Jace whispered, locking eyes with Balek.

"You're my kid, Jace," Balek answered simply, "I practically raised you. I'll respect any decision you make, and will do my best to help how I can. I can't speak for all of the Nobles, but those of Radiance stand with you. You have my word."

"Heh, seems I have a small army then," Jace could hardly fathom it.

"More than that," Selene mused, "As you have me, you have all that I have."

"That's a lot indeed..." Jace rested his head back against her, "Too much for me to think of right now. I always wanted to rise in the world, but now that it's happening..."

"We'll go slow," Selene reassured him, "Whatever pace you need."

Jace couldn't lie about being overwhelmed. He didn't know how he would handle this newfound life of his. Truth be told, he wanted to continue to take jobs, if only to ground himself. To remind him of where he came from. A way to ease him into his life.

"Let's focus on the present," Jace told them, enjoying the sound of the rain pattering down, "I haven't seen my mother in a long time. I should say hello."

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The room was silent save the beeps of medical machinery. Doctor Gerard was there as Jace entered the room. He greeted him with a friendly smile as Gerard patted his shoulder firmly.

"I didn't know you'd be here," Jace said, having not heard anything beforehand.

"Lady Selene didn't tell you then?" Gerard eyed Selene.

"Lady Selene?" Jace raised an eyebrow, glancing in her direction.

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"I thought you'd like someone familiar caring for your mother," Selene explained, a small smile to her lips, "So, I hired him. He works for me now. It helps that I own this hospital now as well."

"...Thank you," Jace told her, chuckling to himself as Selene's ears turned slightly red, "I seem to be saying that a lot lately."

Jace really couldn't say it enough. He felt he owed a lot to Selene, and he knew she felt it. The way she looked at him and their connection was evident enough. She held a certain sturdiness to her that made him know what she was thinking. "I don't owe you a thing, huh?" Jace knew that's what she wanted to get across, but that just wouldn't work for him.

"I'll make it up to you," Jace told her, and with unwavering eyes as he placed a hand upon the front of her shoulder, "I won't take no for an answer. Anything you need or want. Please tell me."

"Jace..." Selene took his hand, holding it in hers as she brought it to her cheek, "All I want is to see you smile. That is payment enough."

"Heh, now who's the cheesy one?" Jace smirked, with Selene returning a teasing smile of her own, "Truly, though. I'm happy it's enough for you, but...Well, we'll discuss it later. Right now, I have something I need to do."

Jace turned his attention to the reason he was here. The reason for his life and the reason he continues to fight. His mother. Black veins coursing through her body, and frailer than the last time he saw her. She had become so gaunt that it broke his heart.

"Excuse me..." Jace gave a sad smile to Selene, who released him with a warm smile, and a comforting hand upon his back.

He could feel through their connection the warm, yet deep soft feeling that came with sympathy and love. He didn't need this connection of course. He could tell all of them understood. Even Arthur, who had greeted them looked on with understanding and sympathy in his eyes.

"We'll let you-" Selene began to speak, but Jace simply shook his head.

"You all have a right to be here," He stated as he walked over to his mother, "I'm sure she would be thrilled to have so many visitors. Besides..."

Jace looked back at them with tired, yet warm eyes. His hand lingering at the edge of his mother's bed.

"You're all family," He stated, causing a variety of reactions that both tore at and warmed his heart.

He knew it wasn't the first time he said this. After he came out of his depression, he had stated something similar before. Still, it's impact was no less felt, as he rarely reinforced it. He had taken so much for granted before.

Liana smiled, tears forming in her eyes. They were tears filled with such understanding to his words. It took a lot for him to say these things, but he meant every single word. It took a long time for him to realize just what he had. She, who had been by his side the longest, was incredibly happy to hear those words.

Kiera smiled amusingly, though a light pink in her cheeks gave her away as she hugged Liana. He didn't know much about her and had always been a mystery, but she was kind and caring. She had always felt like she was a third party, but she was more than that. She was irreplaceable and belonged among them. Hearing those words so clearly, he knew she appreciated it.

Selene was perhaps the easiest for him to read. Partly due to their connection and partly due to her reaction. She was like a deer caught in headlights. Her eyes widened and mouth slightly parted. She froze, only to fidget slightly and avert her eyes sheepishly. Her ears turned red, and her hands tugged at the hem of her shirt.

The feeling he felt from her was incredibly warm through the connection. Enough to bursting. For someone who had never felt like she had a true family, those words were probably the most precious things she ever heard. He meant every single one of them as well.

Balek and Gerard exchanged a smug look with each other, elbowing the other as if to say "Look at this kid. He can say good things.". They both acted as father figures to him. Balek more than Gerard. Gerard was more like that one uncle who gave you advice every now and then. Still, they had been there for him and his mother when they needed it.

Arthur, on the other hand, simply smiled. Jace didn't know much about him, but knew from his interactions that he was fiercely loyal to Selene. That made him a part of the family even if he wasn't someone Jace was close to yet. All of them he could trust.

Turning his attention back on his mother, he looked upon her frail form. Carefully, with the gentlest of touches, he took her hand in his. Holding it between both of his hands, he lifted it to his lips. Kissing it gently, he closed his eyes and held it to his forehead.

"Hey, Mom," Jace spoke softly, "It's been a while. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit. Some things happened, but I'm here now. You'll get better. I've met an amazing person who will help you. I've also realized that there were amazing people around me already."

He chuckled to himself, with the girls exchanging a knowing, amused look with each other. Arthur provided him with a chair as he sat and recalled everything to his mother. He had a lot of visits to make up for, and a lot to tell her.

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