Chapter 12: Chapter 12 – Home sweet home

"Wake up," James shakes me by the shoulder. I open my eyes, but slumber has not let go of me yet. I pull the bud out of my ear. Ray still snores on my shoulder. "We've arrived!"

"Ray!" I push him slightly. He splits his eyelids and licks his lips. I put my headphones in my pocket. We take out our bags and go out to the platform. And then we get to our house by taxi.

"My boys!" Mom glows with happiness, embracing me and Ray in a tight hug. "James! Oh my god! Who is this we have here?" Her voice goes higher, and the tone reaches the highest point of affection when she sees Bailey in Joyce's arms. All right, I think no one else will remember about our existence. Everyone in the house - mom's cousin Maggie and her husband Kyle, grandma and grandpa, nephews, cousin Ben with his wife and their children - there are already more than 10 people - everyone runs to greet Bailey, nodding at us as they go.

It's always crowded in our home for Christmas. Ray and I go up to my old room to leave our bags. Ray immediately throws himself onto my bed and stretches sweetly.

"Damn, I slept so well on the train... I'd sleep some more!" He leans back on the pillows and exhales noisily. I take off my jacket, hang it on a chair and lie down next to him. We look at the ceiling, and then I glance around the room.

How many times has it happened? Ray stayed with me overnight when we were in school. We'd stay up, play video games, and just laugh our asses off over the silliest things.

"Do you remember when we tried to walk in heels?" laughing asks Ray suddenly. I look at him for a minute. And then I remember. We were 13 years old or so. I don't remember who came up with this brilliant idea, but it was after midnight, and it was a bet. We slipped out of the room. We had to get my mom's shoes out of the closet downstairs. And then we took turns trying to walk from bed to the window and back without twisting our ankles. I throw my head back and laugh out loud, tears in my eyes. God, it was so long ago! For some reason, now I desperately want to become a 13-year-old again. Why?..

Suddenly my laugh gets stuck in my throat. I remember that night I felt something strange for the first time. No, not because of women's shoes. Although not quite so... When I stood on these 4-inch heels, I felt as if on stilts. And when turning, I skidded, and my ankle rolled. I grabbed the curtain, but it could not hold me. I flew forward and thought I would meet the floor with my nose, but I was caught.

I didn't realize at first what had happened. It was dark, and I did not expect this. My eyes were closed. And how to explain?

I felt something the opposite of disappointment because I was sure I'd fall, but I didn't. I felt a surge of warmth, gratitude, and this closeness.

Ray managed to catch me. I couldn't straighten up at once, and my whole body fell on him. Ray was firmly on his feet, and I involuntarily took a deep breath and felt his scent. I understand how sentimental that sounds. But just then, for the first time, a wildly intoxicating feeling came over me.

I opened my eyes, my hands gripped Ray's elbows tightly, and my face was at the level of his neck. I got out of the shoes and laughed nervously. At that moment, I did not want to distance myself from Ray, but on the contrary, to snuggle even closer. I wanted to know if I could get intoxicated by that feeling even more. I didn't know what could have happened next, but it seemed like an obsession. I licked my lips, and the air ran hot as I exhaled.

Ray's laugh sobered me then. I finally gained control over my legs and straightened up.

"So I won!" Ray exclaimed then. "I'm making a wish!"

I honestly barely heard it.

"I need to go to the bathroom!" I blurted out and ran out of the room.

I was gone for about 10 minutes, and what I was doing there in the bathroom... I am still embarrassed to remember...

When I returned to the room, Ray was already asleep. I laid down next to him, on the very edge of the bed, overwhelmed by my discoveries, which I could not share with my best friend. And I didn't even know what to do next. But as a teenager, I hoped that it'd somehow resolve itself. So I just fell asleep.

"What was your wish?" I ask Ray, returning to the present. I'm a bit nervous. I don't know why Ray remembered it. I wonder if he remembers it the way I do. Not likely. And it's sad to realize that after so many years, I cannot honestly discuss what I experienced then.

"I think I fell asleep and never told you my wish. So," Ray smiles slyly, looking at me.

"I'm definitely not bringing my mother's shoes! I was scolded big time! Mom was shocked when she found her shoes under my bed. She arranged such an interrogation for me!"

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"What?" Ray wonders.

"She wanted to take me to a shrink. And she asked if I wanted to wear make-up and try on dresses!"

Ray laughs.

"Boys! Come down for dinner!" Mom knocks and enters the room, looking at me and Ray on the bed. "Are you so tired?"

"We should have gone by plane!" I grumble.

"We'll be there in a minute," Ray beams.

"I hope your parents are ok that you celebrating with us?" Mom asks carefully. Now I am taking the initiative into my own hands.

"Yes, mom, it's all right! He'll visit them later."

"Well, great!" she says and leaves.

I get up reluctantly; Ray follows.

"Let's change," I say.

"What?" He asks in surprise, his eyes widening.

"What? You brought spare clothes, did you?"

"Well, I have a couple of pants and t-shirts. I didn't take a tux, you know! You didn't tell me about the dress code!"

"What dress code?!" I pull the gray polo out of the closet. "Put it on."

"Okay," Ray mutters and takes off his t-shirt. I hastily turn away, but still, peek furtively. "Aren't you going to change?"

"Yeah..."

Why is it awkward? I need to pull myself together and pretend as I planned to!

I take off my t-shirt nonchalantly, not paying attention to Ray, and take a shirt out of the wardrobe. I notice out of the corner of my eye that Ray is looking at me. After my struggle with the buttons, we go downstairs.

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