There is noise and din at the table. Cheerful conversations hum in the air. Relatives are discussing all things that happened during the year and plans for the next one, eating and drinking with pleasure.
This is our usual Christmas dinner, although it probably looks picture-perfect. Naturally, everyone is in love with Bailey. Ray is sitting next to me, and, to be honest, I think he is not very comfortable.
"Hey," I nudge him gently and glance askance at him. He pretends not to notice and sips from the glass, then puts it on the table, looks at me, and squeezes a smile. But I'm not buying it, giving him a skeptical look.
"Sam, come help me," my mother beckons me to follow her. I get up from the table and go out into the corridor. Mom points to the gift boxes stacked at the stairs. "Take them to the living room, please. I almost forgot about them! And also!" she raises her finger and wants to say something else, but the doorbell rings, and mom goes to the door.
"Jenny! Oh my God!" mom exclaims. "I was afraid that you would not make it! Come in, come in, my dear!"
I carry the boxes to the living room, and a thought catches up with me on the way. Or rather a memory. Jenny is my former classmate! Mine and Ray's. I can't say we were friends. She often laughed at Ray, and he seemed to like her... But my mom and Jenny's mom were friends, and they kinda wanted to set us up together. My mom often pestered me with questions about my relationship with Jenny, but I just didn't like her. Maybe because she was mean to Ray. Yeah, this and the fact that I liked boys... I hope my mom dropped the idea about me and Jenny!
Ok, there might be a tiny little problem here... I never officially came out to my parents. But since James knows, I assumed he told her. Maybe mom didn't believe him and tries to test it? Or maybe I'm overthinking it, and there's nothing behind it?
I return from the living room to the hall for the second batch of boxes. Jenny has already taken off her coat and hat. Her long red hair spilled over her shoulders. She looks at me with bright green eyes and wrinkles her nose funny.
"Sam, huh?" She asks, smiling a little bashfully.
"The one and only," I answer, peering out from behind the boxes.
"You've changed!"
"Really? How?"
"Well, at school you were... well, such..."
"Weirdo?" I prompt.
"No! Well, that is... and you had this friend, a chubby..."
"Sam, what's up?" mom returns from the kitchen. "We're gonna need the presents soon. Do you recognize Jenny, honey? Isn't she just beautiful?"
Jenny blushes rapidly. And I listen to this with a grain of interest. After all, there is something hidden here, and I am waiting for my mother to reveal her cards.
"I'm so glad we met by accident at the mall! Jenny just came back to town," my mother continues, "I invited her over since I knew you'd come too, Sam!" Mom turns to me but does not even wait for my reply, as she starts talking again. "And Sam is so businesslike. He and James run a store, and Sam works there. My boys!" Mom claps her hands, exclaiming, "They support me so much after Oliver's death." Tears appear in her eyes.
Oliver is my father, who died five years ago, and as I said, this was a huge loss for me. But mom continues, and I realize that maybe it's the Christmas wine I should blame.
"They're trying so hard! And now James has a son! Can you imagine, Jenny? He's such a sweet baby!"
I wait for this stream of words to stop and take small steps toward the room; the boxes in my hands start to weigh a ton.
"And Sam! I don't know when he will please me with grandchildren!"
I chuckle inwardly as my mother's thoughts jump from one to the other. And suddenly she grabs me and Jenny by the elbow, forcing us to stop at the entrance to the room. It draws the attention of the room. Mom looks up and smiles happily.
"Oh, dear, this must be fate!" Mom points her finger at the mistletoe hanging over our heads and then looks at me and Jenny. I pull my face and fence myself off with the boxes, but mom doesn't give up.
"Merry Christmas!" suddenly shouts someone from the table. I turn my head and see Ray raising his glass hastily, drawing everybody's attention. "Oh, Jenny! You've changed so much since school! Did you do something to your hair?"
Mom lets go of my hand, and I hurriedly retreat with the boxes to the tree. Everyone shouts, "Merry Christmas, Jenny!" And I quickly take a seat next to Ray at the table.
"Thanks," I say as I catch Ray's eye, and he nods, his face blushing for some reason. Mom brings Jenny to us.
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"I think you have a lot to talk about. Sit down together," she says.
Ray and I move to make room for Jenny, who looks at Ray with a grain of salt.
"What did you say about my hair?" Jenny says in a slightly offended low voice, sitting down to Ray's right.
"Er... nothing," Ray mutters. "I just remember them differently..."
Jenny frowns, "Well, you haven't changed... Still Sam's lapdog..." she comments snidely.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ray asks. I listen too.
"Oh... nothing... Just..." Jenny waves nervously. "It was a joke since school." She starts to eat, hoping to drop the topic apparently, but Ray fumes and presses on, "What joke?"
"Come on..." Jenny tries to drop it again. "It was just a stupid joke and stupid rumor..."
"What was it?" Ray's voice is tinged with hidden anger. Jenny looks at him and smirks slightly.
"Ahem... well... Again, it was just gossip. I'm not saying I believed it. I just tell you what I've heard... Nearly everybody heard about it, actually. I have no idea how it escaped..."
"Tell already!" Ray snaps.
Jenny frowns, glancing daggers at Ray, "It said that you tried to satisfy every Sam's whim because you were dying to sleep with him..." Ray's face twists, but Jenny delivers the final blow. "But Sam slept with anyone but you..."
I choke on my food and drop the fork on the plate with a loud clunk. Ray turns and looks at me.
"I told you it was just gossip," Jenny adds, but Ray doesn't pay any attention to her anymore. All his eyes are on me.
"You knew about that?" he asks me.
"What?" I cough nervously. "No! And I didn't sleep around at school!" I remark, addressing Jenny, but she dismisses it, picking at her food. It... wasn't quite true. Well, I tried to stay discreet. But how secretive a teenager could be? I think I had a thing or two with some guys in our school... It was brief and low-key. But rumors... rumors can just appear out of thin air and spread like the wind... But I wasn't aware of that joke... And Ray wasn't my lapdog!
Ray tensed up visibly. He clutches his glass nervously and takes a swig.
"School rumors are something," I start, hoping to drive the conversation away from this dangerous topic. "Remember that guy from the football team? Ron? Rodney?"
"Rory," Jenny corrects me.
"Yeah!" I exclaim. "There was a rumor he had a fling with Mrs. Gill, an English teacher..."
"Well, that was the truth. He knocked her up in his senior year," Jenny remarks and smirks. I'm blinking stupidly. "They got married after all. Kinda, happy ending," she shrugs and sips on wine.
"I... didn't know... that," I utter. Ray gets up from the table, and I automatically follow him. Something got him. He's not himself again, and I don't want to leave him alone. He's upset or angry. Maybe Jenny's words triggered something within him. And I want him to have a chance to talk to me, to speak out his frustration.
At the exit from the room, Mary, my 10-year-old cousin, stops us and then giggles. She points up with her little finger and says loud enough that everyone could hear, "Oh look! Sam and Ray are under the mistletoe! Do they need to kiss too?!" and starts laughing.
I don't want to make a scene or big deal out of it. Or maybe I want to cheer up Ray somehow. Or maybe I'm acting on my hidden desires. I'd blame the wine for it...
Under the gaze of my entire family and amused Jenny, I kiss still pouting and dumbfounded Ray on the lips. Shortly... but a second longer than it should have been.
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