Chapter 9: Chapter 9 – Monsters under the bed

"Well, kiddo? Are your pants dry, or should I call your mom?" With a mocking smile, I ask Ray when the movie finally ended.

"Never again..." Ray begins but then only tightly purses his lips and twists his face.

As we wander home, Ray tells me he has almost learned how to play barre chords on the guitar.

"You have to tune it first! What the heck? If you don't tune it, I'll definitely bury it! Along with the musician!" I grumble.

"Look, everyone can play a tuned guitar! I may be inventing my own unique style!"

I laugh out loud. God, what a good night! I needed it so much.

We go up to the apartment and go inside.

"Okay, I'm going to sleep," I say, feeling pleasantly tired and close to sweet dreams.

"Night," Ray nods and disappears into his room.

I undress and climb onto the bed. My body relaxes quickly, and I'm ready to fall into a deep sleep. Suddenly, through the sweet slumber, I hear rustling and whispering.

"Sam..."

Probably, I am already dreaming it...

"Sam... Sam, you sleeping?" the whisper persistently repeats. "Sam?"

And then a voice snaps loudly, "Sam, fuck!"

I jump sharply, "What the heck?!"

Ray is standing in front of my bed. He's wearing nothing but shorts and holding a pillow across his stomach.

"What the heck? What the heck?" He mimics me. "You dragged me to this fucking horror movie!" Saying this, Ray comes closer, puts down the pillow right next to mine, and climbs onto the bed. "Move, will ya?" He demands, pushing me aside.

"Ray, damn it! I told you I have to get up early! Go sleep!"

"You have to get up early?! Well, scoot then! So we could finally get some sleep!"

"There is no space!"

"Oh, don't bullshit me, eh! If there was enough room for you and your boyfriend, then there is enough for me," Ray says with a harsh voice.

I feel sorry I haven't passed out. In that case, Ray would have laid next to me, and I would have known it only when I woke up. It would've been better. And, I wouldn't have heard Ray's words either.

I move to the side to make room for Ray.

"I can sleep on the floor," I say calmly.

"Am I so disgusting to you?!"

"What? No!"

God, what's going on?! Again?! I can feel this distance again. The charm of this evening evaporates like a haze from a fire. My barely newfound calmness follows.

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"Then why do you need to sleep on the floor?!" He keeps pushing.

"So that you have enough space!"

"There is plenty of room!" Ray points to the narrow strip left between our bodies. "Or you need to be out of reach, huh?"

He jumps up.

No, no, no, what's going on...

I manage to grasp his hand.

"Stop! Stop! Wait! Ray!"

But he gets up, and in order not to let him go, I get up too, holding his hand tightly. The pause scares me. The tension immediately builds up in this silence, so I force myself to speak calmly and softly.

"Why are you freaking out? I just wanted to make it more comfortable for you. I have enough space, and I don't need to lie out of reach. Don't put words in my mouth, okay? Let's go to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow. Let's sleep, okay?"

Probably, if I could observe this moment from the side, I'd think how strange this picture was. Ray and I are standing in the darkness in the middle of my room in nothing but underwear. And I, squeezing his hand, persuade him to go to bed with me. Surrealistic...

But, at this moment, I can't think of anything except that I won't stand another fight with him. I want to save the rest of the night and my peace. I want him to stay, and that's all.

And luckily, Ray is affected by my words. He nods uncertainly several times. I let go of his hand and return to bed. Ray walks over and lies down beside me.

I can hear him pouting.

"No more horror movies for you, since you're such a coward," I whisper. For some reason, I thought it might lighten the mood. Stupid...

Ray inhales indignantly and opens his mouth to say something which definitely fuels the just-died quarrel. No, please, not this!

I jump up, fall on Ray and put my hand over his mouth. Ray freezes, and I see his gaze in the dark. After a few seconds, I begin to understand that this was not the best idea... and that it would be nice if at least one of us was wearing a t-shirt...

I can feel Ray's heart beating. It's like he's running a race. Now another tension builds up in this silence.

"Not a word more," I warn him through clenched teeth and move a little to the side. "Or I'll send you back, and let the monsters from the closet or from under the bed have their way with you."

I take my hand away from his face and lie back down in my place. But my sleepiness vanished. I look at the ceiling and try my best to breathe evenly.

I didn't think I could play a friendly skirmish, but I hope it was quite convincing.

I roll onto my side, and Ray does the same. We find ourselves lying back to back. Yeah, I could definitely use a t-shirt. On either of us!

I want to talk to Ray, but I can't. To maintain this fragile balance, I need to choose my words better. And I still have problems with this. So I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. After all, this back behind me is no stranger's. And I am glad he is here.

I roll over to the other side and rest my forehead against Ray's back.

Does he have a new deodorant?.. It smells nice...

And finally, I fall asleep.

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