Chapter 9: Chapter 7: New Experiences

Mathias Brown sat on his bed, attempting and failing to play music on his rickety lute. He was far too distracted, and his fingers felt thick and clumsy on the strings. One thought circled in his mind, pushing all others to the edges of his subconscious:

Was Adam alright?

Matt had grown up with Adam, and had become accustomed to the boys moods. Adam tended to be quiet and calm, never showing much on his face beyond the occasional burst of anger, which was why Matt was still shaken from what had happened the day before yesterday. Adam had seemed so upset, in a way Matt hadn't seen in years, perhaps ever. And all he could do was mutter false reassurances, holding his partner close as he sobbed into his shoulder.

And, gods, that was a whole other thing to unpack; they were something close to official now - they'd both said as much. Bloody hell.

Matt pinched the bridge of his nose, hissing at himself, "Stupid, stupid boy-"

He should be there! Comforting Adam! Instead here he was, practicing some stupid melody he'd bought off a passing bard so he didn't have to think. He paused - Maybe distance was what Adam needed right now? Some time to work things out? To work what out, though? He had kept on muttering things about being... wrong. Perhaps... Matt glanced out at the sun, calculating the time. It was late morning still, that was good. He nodded to himself, a plan forming readily in his mind.

Matt would try and write something for Adam, and if he didn't get any contact from Adam by the late afternoon, he'd head over and see if he could talk to him himself. He could have until then to write! What could possibly go wrong?

 

---

 

Anya and her mother emerged from the closest thing they had to a postal centre so far away from the cities.

“The letter should make its way up to Annabel with the next tradesman that goes to her city,” Maria said as they walked further into town, “It’ll likely take a week for her reply to get back to us if past experience has any say.”

Anya nodded, scratching underneath her far-too-warm cap. With the help of her mother, she’d tucked away all her hair underneath; she was still apprehensive about revealing her minor changes right this moment. For some reason, Anya felt like she was forgetting something…

“Oh shit, Ma, I forgot about Eliza-!”

Anya ran off towards the market, calling back, “Meet me at the fruit stall soon! I’ve just gotta say something to her!”

Maria shook her head with a sigh as her daughter disappeared into the crowd. Well, her rashness is unlikely to change, she thought with a smile, heading off to browse her favourite stalls before meeting Anya later.

 

---

 

Eliza sat underneath the shade of her stall on a comfortable chair, absentmindedly carving a block of wood with a knife while she waited for customers. This one was going to be a fish; she could see it in her mind fairly clearly. It was already looking to be a hot spring day, and she was glad for the protection of her tarp from the harsh sun.

Quite suddenly, her peace was interrupted as a familiar young man skidded to a stop in front of her stall, huffing and puffing as he recovered his breath.

“Hello – There – Eliza,” he pushed out between puffs, a weak smile on his face.

She chuckled, placing the block and knife down and leaning forwards,

“Hello there, lad; doing well?”

Something she’d said seemed to make the boy flinch, and Eliza frowned. He shook his head, seemingly recovered enough to speak,

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re not doing well?”

He seemed to grin, almost mischievously, before speaking under his breath quietly enough that Eliza wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly.

“Not a lad,” He whispered before snickering to himself, standing up straight.

Hm? What could he possibly mean by that? He continued,

“I’ll… I might explain it to you later. For now, I’m well and truly sorry, but I’m here with my mother, and I don’t think I’ll have time for a lesson today. Though I desperately want to! I’ve just got… Other things on my mind right now,”

Eliza nodded, leaning back into her chair.

“Fair enough; I’m here whenever the market is open, as I’m sure you know. Come whenever you like.”

She squinted at the young man, looking him over. There was something… Different about him. It was subtle; like a great many small things had changed. He held himself differently, less tense perhaps, and perhaps even slightly less nervous, and there was a light to his eyes that was never present before.

Eliza picked up the carving knife and the wood,

“I hope whatever’s on your mind is helping, la- Mm. Would be a shame to stop having you peruse my wares from time to time.”

The young person’s smile when she stopped herself from saying ‘lad’ surprised her with its warmth, and they nodded enthusiastically.

“Of course, Eliza, I will keep that in mind. I’ve got to go now; thank you again!”

They rushed back into the crowd, and Eliza watched them leave with a curious eye. After a short while, she shrugged and returned to her work; the scales on this figurine would be a pain in the ass. She could already feel it.

 

---

 

Maria found Anya eating an apple whilst chatting with the fruit stall vendor, and she gently touched her daughter on the arm to indicate it was time to go. Anya smiled down at her, quickly saying goodbye to the vendor before walking off with her mother.

“You seem happier, dear,” Maria said, squeezing Anya’s hand.

Anya grinned, squeezing her hand right back.

“It feels as if I’m a rogue, Ma, like from one of the books that we used to read together. Everyone looks at me, but doesn’t actually see me, only what they expect of me based on my appearance,” Her smile was conspiratorial, “I think it’s quite funny. Who would think that big, mopey Adam is, in actuality, the sorcerer Anya Lane, woman and aasimar?”

She paused, blushing as she considered what she’d just said,

“Oh, gods, that’s the first time I’ve admitted it out loud,”

Maria turned with a quizzical smile towards her daughter, “Admitted what?”

Anya looked at her mother with a wobbly, uncertain grin.

“Admitted that I’m not a man,” She mumbled softly.

Maria pulled Anya into a short hug before continuing to lead her to some unknown destination.

“Here we are,” Maria stopped in front of one of the semi-permanent buildings, one that Anya instantly recognised.

“Olivia’s store? But why?”

Maria shrugged, “I haven’t seen her in an age, and I’d like some more things for myself. My old work clothes are basically falling apart, and I know her father makes them sturdy.”

Anya nodded but hesitated, bringing her hand to her mouth as she thought,

“I… I think I’d like to tell her, here and now, if that’s alright with you.”

Maria reached out to hold her daughter’s hand,

“Of course, but… are you sure? There’s no rush, dear.”

Anya nodded a little nervously, “Yes. She basically knows the half of it already – I showed her my hair yesterday – But I think if there’s anyone I can tell, it’d be her.”

Maria nodded, and they entered the small store.

Olivia turned up from the counter where she was writing something in a ledger, and she broke out into a smile.

“Adam!” Anya winced but smiled in return as Olivia’s eyes widened, “And Mrs Lane! Oh, gods, I haven’t seen you in ages,”

She rushed forwards, giving Maria a friendly hug. They chatted for a short while, rapidly catching up on what the other had been doing while Anya shifted around nervously in the background. Olivia seemed to remember she was here, and glanced at her cap before shooting her a questioning look.

“Ma knows, Olivia,” Anya said softly, and some hidden tension seemed to leak out of Olivia’s posture.

“Oh good, I was worried I was going to slip up somehow. Are you doing… Better than yesterday, then?”

Maria stepped back, letting the conversation play out as Anya sat on one of the available stools.

“Well, yes, greatly so, but it’s… complicated. I’d like to talk with you; sit down?”

Olivia pulled up a stool, concern furrowing her brow as Anya pulled off her winter cap, allowing her white hair to spill out from underneath.

“Ok, what’s up?”

Anya took a deep breath, averting her eyes.

“So… You know how being an aasimar in my family works,”

“Yes…?”

“And we thought that me having these traits was a mistake,”

Olivia clearly became more confused, picking up on the ‘thought’.

“Mhm,”

“Well… Me having them wasn’t- Isn’t a mistake.”

Olivia’s eyes widened as what Anya was saying clicked.

“Oh,”

“I prefer the name Anya now-” She managed to sheepishly blurt out right before Olivia barrelled into her with a hug.

“Anya? Anya! That’s a lovely name! Oh, gods, I have a sister! A sister!”

Despite Anya being taller than Olivia, the older girl managed to twirl her around with ease. She laughed with delight, setting Anya down once they both started getting dizzy. Anya’s hair bled to gold as she smiled back, and Olivia ran her fingers through it with wonder in her eyes.

“And so your hair was changing because…? Hah! Gods, I cannot imagine what a rude awakening that must have been – Congratulations!”

“Thank you,” She mumbled right before Olivia pulled her into a hug again.

“I have an aunt who’s the same,” She murmured as they embraced each other, “She’s so lovely… I can only imagine what this must have been like for you. If anyone says anything even remotely nasty to you about this, I will tear them in two.”

Anya grinned, "I appreciate that, Olivia, but I am a sorcerer. I think I could do that myself."

Olivia frowned, "Did I stutter?"

They both laughed together at that until Maria stepped forwards, reminding the other two that she was still in the store. Anya’s mother turned towards her, shooting her a smile and giving a brief squeeze on the shoulder.

“I’m glad that went well, darling, but now,” Maria tilted her head towards Olivia, “Do you think we could buy some clothing for my daughter here? Just a few things to get her started, I’d think.”

Olivia’s expression brightened up, and she placed a fist into her palm, “Oh, oh! Of course, hang on just a moment,”

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It took a few seconds for the realisation that Anya’s mother was referring to her to set in completely. It felt like something in her brain fizzled and popped as Olivia rushed off to somewhere else in the store.

“W-wuh?”

Maria gave a mischievous smile, “Well, dear, if you’ve gone through the trouble of telling her, I thought we may as well use it.”

Anya gestured at herself, outlining her general shape, more than a little dumbfounded,

“B-but none of this will fit me! And besides, I imagine my measurements are fairly off from what is expected,”

Maria waved her hand in dismissal, “Clothing can be adjusted, dear, and there’re ways of complimenting figures that are more square. I myself have never had much in the way of hips or waist. I just want you to have something to experiment with, wear at home if you’re willing,”

Anya flushed, thinking about the possibilities… Oh yes, that could be quite nice; she’d always been curious about what it’d be like to wear things like that.

“Alright,” She grumbled, “I concede, but please don’t spend too much on me,”

“No promises; I haven’t had to truly buy you clothing before! You were never interested; I can make up for it now. Though I’ll admit, I’m no paragon of femininity; this sort of thing never truly held my interest,” Maria watched as Olivia returned with some of her measuring tools, excitement clear in her posture and expression, “I think she can help with that,” she murmured with a smile.

Olivia was practically vibrating with barely contained energy, and she pulled Anya to her feet with one hand,

“Come with me! There’s a back room; I can take your measurements there,”

Anya grinned sheepishly, turning back to her mother, who simply nodded in encouragement. The pair walked off into the storage room in the back of the store, where Olivia pulled out a soft measuring strip.

“Alright, stand still; this might tickle a little,”

Despite Olivia’s obvious abundance of energy, she was exceedingly gentle with the process of taking measurements and marking them off on a slip of scrap leather. Anya fidgeted as she went, getting especially nervous when it came time to do her thighs, but Olivia made no comments beyond the occasional ‘Mhm,’ and ‘Ok,”.

Finally, she finished up, inscribing the last few notes onto her special pad and turning to Anya with a smile.

“With these, we can make some things to fit you! Ooo, I’m pretty certain we have something that you might be able to squeeze into right away, actually; I remember it being back here…”

She dove deeper into the backroom, searching through the stacks of clothing that wasn’t on the current rotation. Olivia's father had originally started making clothing as practice, hoping to eventually sell in the cities. He only begun selling the outfits when he was persuaded by Olivia to try and off set the costs of fabric with his perfectly serviceable "shoddier works".

Anya stood, fairly perplexed, “How would you have anything that fits me? I’ve no delusions about my figure; I stand nearly head and shoulders over every woman in town!”

Olivia tutted, waggling her finger, “You’re only thinking of human women, sister; just because that’s our main population doesn’t mean someone doesn’t occasionally pass through. We had a half-elf woman come through a year or so ago. Lovely service; She paid for the outfit but never came back to collect it. Sent a letter to apologise and say we could keep the money and the dress. She was about as tall as you and had similar measurements if memory serves…”

She pulled out a pastel blue dress from one of the deeper racks with a little exclamation of triumph, scrambling forwards and holding it up to Anya’s chest. It was gorgeous; fairly simple in its design, but with a lot of… poofiness that could hide someone’s lack of chest or hips. Olivia chuckled with delight,

“Oh yes, I think this could fit you just fine. I did say that blue would be good with your complexion, didn’t I? Do you want to try it on?”

Anya began to sweat, stepping back and fidgeting, “Well, I’m ah… Not completely… Am I truly allowed?”

Olivia dangled the dress like it was some sort of bait with a cheeky grin, “I give you full permission if that’s what you need~”

Anya hesitated, chewing on her knuckle for a while before deflating,

“Ah fuck it, hand it over. How do I put it on?”

Olivia chortled with delight, flipping the dress around to show it off.

“You tie it up back here! This one was designed so that you could do it by yourself, but as a beginner, I can help you out. Let me just unlace it quickly…”

Anya nodded quickly, pushing herself along before she could overthink it all and stop herself. She did want this, but years of repressing a desire for this sort of thing didn’t disappear overnight. Olivia’s enthusiasm helped a great deal.

Olivia finished loosening up the back and thrust the garment into Anya’s hands with a smile.

“I’ll be on the other side of the door; if you have any questions, just speak up!”

Then she darted out of the back room, gently closing the door behind her. Anya’s heart was racing; how was this thing so soft?

Well. First things first, she had to take off her normal clothes… Done. There were no mirrors in the storage room, for which she was thankful. Getting a glimpse of herself right now might be too much.

Next came putt… Putting on the outfit. Right, just step into the big space in the bottom, put your arms through the correct holes – Which one was which again? No, the other way around. She had to pause as the material brushed against her skin. Bloody hell, this thing had a texture unlike anything she’d ever worn. It was… Nice. Wearing it was still a little bit strange; it sagged around the front and was loose in most other places due to not being laced up, but even then, the way it hugged her gave her a plethora of new sensations.

Had her skin always been this sensitive? Something to think about later.

She gave an experimental step, relishing how the clothing shifted when she moved. It was also heavier than most other things she’d ever worn, like a comfortable weight.

There was a knock at the door, Olivia’s voice muffled by the wood,

“Are you ready, Anya? Don’t want to barge in when you aren’t decent, after all,”

Oh. Oh gods, how should she stand? How did she look? She couldn’t tell if the dress was the right length or… Or… Ah, fuck it.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Olivia,” She announced with as much confidence she could muster. It wasn’t much, but at the very least, her voice didn’t waver. Olivia slipped into the room, and all of Anya’s faux-confidence vanished, both her face and hair brightening to an embarrassed red as Olivia clasped her hands in front of her face and almost squealed with delight.

“It’s perfect; look at you! If I had known you’d look this good in blue, I would’ve gotten you a dress years ago. Now hold still!”

She slipped behind Anya, quickly working the lace in the back. Anya’s heart was beating fast as the dress became tighter, pulling in all the folds and fitting itself to her form. Oh gods, this is really happening.

“Do you mean it, sister? You’re not just saying it to make me feel good?” It came out as an anxious whisper, Anya’s eyes focused on the floor as her face burned pink.

Olivia rested her chin on Anya’s shoulder, grinning in the corner of her vision.

“I do mean it. You look downright radiant, though-” She pulled one last thread into position, “We might need to adjust it some in the shoulders; It might be a bit tight. What do you think?”

Anya stepped forwards, eyes wide as the fabric moved and shifted around her body. If she had thought the sensations new before, with it actually hugging her body, it was like she was on a foreign plane of reality. The sleeves and chest were loose and puffy, giving the impression of a chest that she didn’t have while downplaying the wideness of her shoulders. The skirt reached midway down her shins, and she gave an experimental twist of her hips, watching in amazement at how the garment moved under its own momentum.

Anya rolled her shoulders, frowning at the tightness of how it moved. She got the impression that if she were to try and stretch, it would break the stitches.

“I agree on the shoulders, but everything else is just… Oh, gods, Olivia, I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

Olivia nodded, arms crossed.

“Good! A woman’s first dress should be special,” That caused a brief ripple of gold through Anya’s hair as she gave a shaky smile. Olivia seemed to remember something, quickly darting outside to retrieve a small item.

“Here! Your Ma said you’d probably want this too,”

It was the headband that Maria had gifted her, the one that looked like it was made of vines. Anya slipped it into her hair, and Olivia nodded while rubbing her chin.

“Mhm, very good. The colours work well with the dress, and it makes your hair frame your hair very nicely. Alright then!” She gently grabbed Anya by the shoulder, an evil grin on her face, “Time to show your Ma, I think~”

“Now wait, hang on-”

But Olivia was already pushing her to the door despite her mild protests, letting go at the threshold between the backroom and the wider store and standing with her hands clasped behind her back.

“I’ve closed all the curtains and locked the door in case you were worried about being seen from outside. It means there’s less light, but your Ma said that probably wouldn’t be an issue, what with your… Unique traits,” Olivia said with a wink.

Anya nodded, taking a deep breath and then surprising Olivia by opening the door herself and stepping out of her own volition.

Maria was browsing through the women’s work clothes, comprised mostly of slacks and overalls and other things which could get dirty, but were easily washed.

“H-hi Ma,” Anya said with a nervous grin, standing with arms crossed behind her back as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

The light was dim in the store, what with the curtains being drawn, but that didn’t mean Anya couldn’t see her mother’s expression shift. Her eyes went wide, her expression softening as her lips curled into a large smile. Maria’s hair bled to a satisfied gold as she stepped forwards, holding her daughter’s hands.

“Hello, Anya. You look perfect.”

Oh.

Hearing that from Olivia had already made her feel the warm butterflies in her stomach, but when her own mother said it…  Anya’s eyes stung as she squeezed them shut, wiping away any tears with the back of her hand.

“Y-yeah, Ma. I’m almost feeling it, too,” she said with a light laugh.

“Have you looked at a mirror yet?” Maria asked, searching around for one of the ones that were placed around the store. Anya shook her head, and her mother brought her to a large one in the far corner of the store. With a look of concentration, a halo manifested behind Maria’s head, illuminating the store. That seemed to trigger something in Anya as well, who felt a click as hers also came into being.

Olivia clapped with delight and surprise, “Oh! Wonderful! It matches the colour of your dress!”

Maria turned Anya gently towards the mirror, and she froze when she saw her reflection.

Oh, gods, that was her.

She reached up to touch the dress, watching as the… Admittedly masculine-looking girl on the other side of the mirror did the same. The garment did not erase her normal figure, but it most certainly complimented it; the way the dress was cut actually made her shoulders look nice, even if they were broad. She laughed as she realised that Olivia was right; her halo did match the colour of the dress.

There was a fairly large empty area around her neck, which the overall shape of the clothing seemed to draw attention to, and she placed her hand there.

“I… Wow. Ok. Uh. This is strange to say, but do you think I need something to go… here-ish?”

She gestured at the empty spot around her neck, and her mother nodded while placing a fist in front of her mouth as she thought.

“Yes… I think so; the dress seems to have been made with a necklace or some other jewellery in mind,” Maria stroked Anya’s cheek, hair still golden as she smiled warmly at her daughter, “I have a few old ones at home we can experiment with, if you want to take this with us, of course,”

Anya nodded, “Yes, I think this one is…” She trailed off as she caught sight of her reflection again, completely losing her train of thought and causing her mother to laugh.

“I think she likes it,” Maria said to Olivia, who gently placed a hand on Anya’s arm and began leading her back to the storage room.

“Alright! Let’s get this off so I can adjust the shoulders while you and your mother pick out some other things for later. You can take this one with you, and I’ll bring the others to your home when they’re finished. I’ll help you unlace this,”

The process of taking the dress off was just as simple as putting it on. Putting on her old clothes felt… Boring after that experience, and she was a little upset as she handed the garment back to Olivia so she could do the quick fix. However, her excitement was quickly rekindled as Maria took her arm and began to browse the racks.

“What about something you can move around in? It won’t be much different from what you’re wearing right now, but it should perhaps fit you slightly differently…”

“Oh yes, I didn’t even think of that,”

They picked out a few rudimentary outfits; some work clothes for gardening and a few casual garments that could be mistaken for men’s clothing if someone didn’t look too closely at the cut. It was all generally androgynous except for the pastel blue dress.

Olivia took them with a large smile, opening the curtains back up again as Maria and Anya switched off their haloes.

“Alright, the dress should fit better now – As I said, it was a small fix. Here,” She handed over a tied-up parcel which Maria slipped into her bag, “As for price, altogether that’ll be…”

Anya stepped back as her mother and Olivia sorted out the payment, looking longingly at the other clothing in the store. When would she be confident to wear outfits that weren’t close to androgyny outside her own home? The question was daunting. Would she ever be able to do that?

Well, a thought whispered, what is that Ma said about Annabel? She changed, didn’t she? Perhaps you will too.

The thought made her a mixture of giddy and afraid – That reply couldn’t come fast enough; she needed information.

With that all done, Anya gave Olivia one last quick hug before she and Maria trekked back home, new outfit in tow.