Chapter 2: Chapter Two – Wrapped Like a Present

You know those psychopaths who have television shows all about going out into the wilderness without so much as a backpack? I used to laugh at them and think to myself ‘there is no way I’ll ever need to know any of this’. So I didn’t pay attention.

Oh, how I regret my decisions. Please Mr. Bear, please send some wisdom to me in this my time of need. I will worship you as my god. I swear I’ll never miss a single episode of your show. I’ll write every word you speak into a bible and become a missionary of your faith.

Well no use crying over unwatched television. Maybe if Mr. Bear wrote a manga I would’ve paid more attention. At least I figured out my first fire spell.

Turns out adding ‘and strike’ to the end of ‘make some fire’ was the magic trick I needed. Now I can both summon a very tiny flame and sent it out to hurt very tiny things. Which is useful, because there are spiders everywhere! Bleh… I know this is their home and I’m the intruder, but I can’t help it. They scare me.

[You Slew: Otrea’s Surveillance Spider, +10xp]

The notification appeared in the corner of my vision before fading away. At this point, I wasn’t even paying attention to it anymore. I’d probably killed two dozen spiders. Which wasn’t easy.

After six tiny flame attacks, I was feeling woozy. After two dozen I was barely standing.

Normally, I felt as though I had the endurance to handle most things. Magic it seems occupied a special category of activities my better than average endurance couldn’t help with.

Or being changed into a bunnygirl had made me weak. Yeah, don’t think I’ve forgotten about my new… additions.

Unlike the rigid-eared rabbits most bunnygirls imitated, I had become the rare floppy-eared variant. Which at first, felt like a small mercy. Then as soon as I started moving, I realized why floppy-ears were so unpopular.

Every time I would turn my head, smack. Ear against shoulder. If I turned too quickly the impact was actually uncomfortable, almost painful. Not to mention the sensitivity. I don’t know if actual bunnies have nerves in their ears, but I knew I did. Mine had the sensory slider set to max. 

I swear if I closed my eyes and a heavy wind blew I’d be able to see the forest through my ears’ sensitivity alone. Like some kind of blind martial arts master, only I didn’t know martial arts.

I guess if this world had coffee shops I could make a name for myself as Bernie the Blind Bunny Barista. Quadruple-B that’s what they’d call me.

Sighing I sat beneath a tree and leaned my head against the bark. The canopy overhead did an amazing job keeping light out, keeping the forest gloomy and dark. Couple that with the spiders and I could kind of get why someone would name this place ‘The Woods of Everlasting Terror’.

“I’m exhausted.” Using magic had taken a toll on me, not to mention I’d be wandering the woods for an unknowable amount of time. It felt like hours to me, but it could’ve been minutes. I didn’t have a watch, and my status screen didn’t tell time.

Taking a nap here really didn’t sound like a good idea. Even if the massive roots coming off the tree I’d taken refuge under slightly obscured me from sight. I was still exposed. Without shelter to protect me or at least a hole to hide myself in, I was in danger.

Not that continuing onward was an option either. I was pooped, I didn’t have any more tiny flames in me, not to mention I could barely keep my eyes open.

Frustrated by my present lot in life I uttered a silent prayer that the gods who brought me here would stop being mean to me. Then I laid my head on a nice mossy rock and fell asleep.

You are reading story Reborn as a Basic Barista at novel35.com

“Wakey Wakey little bunny~”

I’d imagined many different horrors that might greet me upon waking from my nap. I did not imagine I’d awaken bound like a mummy from my shoulders to my ankles in spider thread. Dangling upside down from the ceiling of what appeared to be the inside of a wagon, as a big-breasted sadist glared at me like I was her dinner.

“Any chance you’ll cut me loose? I feel like all the blood is rushing to my ears and it’s making me sick.” When faced with uncertainty, it is important to have your priorities straight. Right now, regaining the proper orientation was all that mattered. I could get my captor’s name later.

“Now now little bunny, a little discomfort would do you good. After you spent an entire day slaughtering my children.”

I should say, my captor looked pretty human to me. She was dressed like some kind of goth magical girl only she was a bit too old to play the part. Seriously once you hit your mid-twenties the short puffy skirts and frills get a bit much. Not saying you can’t wear it, but maybe don’t greet your captives wearing it.

Goth Magical Girl is one of those third date with the prisoner kind of looks. Unless you’re twelve. 

“I’m going to take a guess you mean the spiders?”

“How very astute of you.” My captor sneered, leaning forward and poking my nose with her index finger. “I’ve been quite distraught over what you’ve done, and now you’re going to make it up to me.”

“You know when I get sad I usually go for an espresso corretto.” I wheezed, growing really sick of being upside down. “It’s a shot of espresso with a bit of brandy in it. I know I’m a little too young for alcohol, but my aunt says it is okay as long as my grades are good.”

“Ex-Press-Ho?”

“Eh-spre-sou it is written with an ‘s’ not an ‘x’. Not sure if you’ve ever had such a thing but I swear you’d love it. Normally it requires a good bit of pressure to make properly, but we could rig something up if you could find the beans.”

My gothic captor reclined into her seat and glared at me. “You speak of something bizarre and unknown to me. Perhaps feeding you to my children can wait until after you’ve given me some of this espresso you speak of. If I love it as you say I will, I might even let you live. If you end up wasting my time, I’ll make sure my children eat you slowly.”

“Ah… great. Looks like I’ll be your personal Barista, Miss…”

“Otrea.”

“Miss Otrea. Wonderful. I swear I won’t misspell it on your cup.”