Chapter 4: Chapter 4 – Purpose

“It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.”

- Charles Baudelair.

In a rare moment of introspection, my thoughts danced across the memories of my life. Many would falsely label me a sociopath, others would hit closer to the mark of a psychopath, and the even less imaginative would call me a narcissist. I would prefer to think of myself as something far more unique. Case in point, I had been chosen by divine providence itself. The powers that be even approved and encouraged my actions.

These were the idle musings of a man being fellated first thing in the morning by a very attractive young nurse.

Lying down on the hospital bed, the windows wide open to the world, I held my current lover’s hair as her head bobbed up and down on me in now smooth enjoyable motions. Before as I was breaking her to the bit I had to use the reigns of her hair in a more forceful manner. Now, however, she had learned to almost choke herself on my turgid member, learning to breathe mostly with her nose, with ever-growing enthusiasm and ardor. More often than not I allowed her head, leaving my guiding hands to assist only with angle and occasional shift of tempo as I sought my satisfaction.

What was my purpose? Thinking back it was always in the pursuit of new heights of pleasure, without sinking into the true depths of degeneration that disgusted even me. There were limits. Without a system of rules, there would only be chaos. Following my own rules, I had the long arm of the law for a long long time. I would do so again, and if possible this time, I would be doing the punishing. What truly pleased me however was the utter defilement of the pure and upstanding. Those who lived their protected privileged lives high above teeming masses, which was ironic in retrospect as it could have been argued that I too was one of the privileged. I found that I simply did not care.

All of this philosophizing had prevented me from reaching completion. The woman making an Olympian effort between my legs was growing frustrated, her motions becoming more and more desperate as she sought to bring me climax.

Snapping back into the present, I met her dark eyes with my own, locking together, and that was all it took to make me crest the wave of my pleasure. She made a cute mewling noise as I unleashed this morning’s ration down her mouth and throat.

“Di… zat… fe…ee.., gud Aoba-kun?” she asked of me with a stupid expression on her face, my cock still in her mouth, her high-pitched tone needy and seeking approval. A lazy line of semen running from her left nostril added to the pathetic silliness of the sight.

Luxuriating in her ministrations, I sighed before giving her what she wanted as she continued to clean me thoroughly, “Wonderful, you’re such a good girl.”

A bright smile played across my features and I felt nothing but satisfaction in the afterglow of my morning service. The past few weeks whenever it was her shift I had made sure to enjoy her body. We exchanged details as I decided that she really was a ‘keeper’ for the moment. Soft, pliant, and easily manipulated. She mistook my naked lust for a growing adolescent puppy love, blaming my perverted sexual demands on my rampaging hormones.

On the days she was not on duty I made her send me lewd pictures of her in various states of undress and situations, escalating my demands over time. It was delicious as I forced her to do more and more humiliating and degrading things. The cucumber stuck up her pussy which she promised that she later ate raw in a salad was a particular treasure of mine.

I traced a finger across her face, delighting in the subtle curves and contours, finishing near her mouth. She promptly sucked on it as if it was the most delicious thing in the world with closed eyes. I think I had awoken something inside the dumb bitch.

Satisfied that I was satisfied, she actually began to do her real job. Writing down a few things on a clipboard, before asking me the usual questions.

“Well, Aoba-kun, it looks like you are making a great recovery. I heard from Ishida-san that you are making great progress,” she complimented me, eyes sparkling and genuinely happy.

“Yes, I have to thank this institution's very thorough care,” I said looking up at her as she stood over me by the side of the bed, as I idly played with the curves of her rear. It was the only part of her that I had not claimed yet and I decided to save it for a special occasion. Perhaps my birthday or hers? Maybe I would fuck the brains out of another girl in front of her while all she could do was watch until she politely asked to be taken up her rear. Perhaps the girl I was fucking was still a virgin, anal sex her first true sexual experience. It would be an achievement of sorts and it was important to try new things in a healthy relationship after all. Ahh, sometimes I let my imagination get the better of me.

Still, the innocent part of her had not yet been completely buried by the avalanched of my lust, and she blushed at my comment.

“Anyways… I need to go now to do my other rounds. I won’t be able to see you until Friday,” she pouted playfully. It took an effort of will to not make her go down on me again. Hah! To have a randy young body once again. Youth truly was wasted on the young.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow,” I paraphrased in Japanese, deepening her blush as she looked down smiling secretly.

Slowly, she left me. A clipboard clutched to her chest like a fresh new maiden in love. She cast a last glance at me before closing the door and giggling like a sweet sixteen-year-old teenager.

Occasionally other nurses would help me, taking care of me and filling out various details concerning my health. One or two of them were even vaguely attractive. All were kind and sweet. I was tempted to take advantage of their warmth, but I lacked the mental and physical energy to put forward the effort. All things in moderation. It would be what the Budha wanted, I thought before I snickered to myself.

Today would be no different and I was assisted by a foreign nurse from the Philippines, Rosa if I was not to be mistaken. She watched over me, offering encouragement during my rehabilitation sessions and generally being supportive. For that alone, I decided that I would spare her my attentions.

Comparing her to my own claimed nurse, I had to admit to myself that Mizuki was a great catch. While she cuddled against me one morning, in one of our shorter yet more savage sessions, she told me a little of her past. Her biological father had died when she was rather young, and her mother had suspiciously remarried rather suddenly. Her new father had apparently abused her, her own mother uncaring about her situation. Finally, she was ‘saved’ by the intervention of social services as the abuse finally escalated to the extent that her life had been in danger. She did not remember these things, her mind probably forgetting them as a sort of self-defense mechanism. Her ‘boyfriend’ or ‘fiancé’ was a fictitious lie, which came as a relief. I would have been more than happy to steal her away, perhaps right in front of him-showing him Mizuki’s ‘true’ self. But that was not to be, but who knew what the future would hold?

Mizuki had been a product of the system, and it spoke well of her that she had been to become a nurse instead of just another of society’s rejects. I must say I had grown a little fond of my little slut.

If I was completely honest with myself, which is important, the sex was pretty good, but like all things in life, variety was the key spice. I wanted to try a different flavor of my heart’s desire. If I stopped thinking about it my mind too had almost completely adjusted fully to this new world.

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Talking of variety my ‘sister’ in this world had been visiting me quite regularly. I would have my way with her slowly, playing with her jealousy and emotions-binding her with the chains alloyed with guilt, shame, and lust.

Speaking of the devil in uniform it was almost time for one of my sister’s visits. Luckily, thanks to my accident, any changes in my personality, and present amnesia were blamed on the residual trauma of shock. Even my shocking illiteracy and degraded command of my ‘native’ language. Despite advances in modern medicine my condition still stumped a lot of the experts. They stated that recovering my lost memories would be in the “lap of the gods.” If only they knew the irony.

Bursting into the room Aoi burst into my room filled with the golden glow of the dying sun. Eyes lighting up with a new dawn, she threw her bag onto my bed, narrowly missing my feet, and threw her slender arms around me gripping me tightly. She smelled of the wellspring of youth, shampoo and soap, residual chlorine, and a scent that was just her. Aoi was an avid swimmer and a member of her school’s swimming club, and her athletic form felt just the right mixture of growing feminine softness and firm muscle. I mentally had to control myself from drooling at the thought of thoroughly possessing her one day and embracing her more than just platonically for the moment.

Aoi still held me for perhaps a few moments longer than was actually proper for blood-related siblings. With a suddenness that surprised both of us, she almost actually pushed me away, a little heat showing on her face despite her tan.

“I just came to tell you that I was finally able to get everything sorted for school! Who would have thought that we’d be having a high school debut together!” she said with an infectious light in her eyes, her attitude completely changing upon the delivery of her news. “I explained everything to our new teachers and they are pretty much fine with it. Dad wrote a letter explaining things too. You’re even going to get a tutor to help you, you’ve missed a lot you know. Guess good old Aoi can also give you a helping hand now and again too,” she finished, comically looking down at me in an exaggerated pose with her hands settled in a false arrogance on her waist, one eye a small slit as she searched for my reaction.

“Wow, that’s great!” I feigned an enthusiasm I did not feel.

Highschool? It was not too great an experience my first time around, but this time apart from the gaping hole in my ‘native’ language I would hold a lot of aces. A tutor sounded like it would be a real help. A good-looking female tutor would be great, but I would take any bit of assistance at this juncture. I was smart, but I was no genius. Would the gods provide? I wondered.

“That’s wonderful. One other thing I don’t need to worry about. You really are a lifesaver Aoi!” I replied nodding my head enthusiastically. This time I really tried to layer it on thick.

“Er-herm! Aren’t I just!” she rejoined, visibly pleased with her brother's praise. “I even just ordered your uniform! One of the nurses took your sizes,” she blushed a little before hurriedly continuing, “You can see it when you get back home!”

“Home… but I can’t remember anything about… our place…” a false catch in my voice as I fished for sympathy.

She suddenly hugged me again and I was once again filled with her fresh warmth and scent. The smell of a young unsuspecting girl.

“I’m so sorry Arata… It was just that I was so happy that you would be coming back home soon,” her voice halting with sadness and complete surprise at my reaction as she continued to hug me. “You just seemed so different and I… and I… please forgive me. I put my foot in it again,” she finished hugging me a little more strongly before pulling away. A wry smile was written across her face, but the melancholy could be seen.

“It’s alright Aoi. I’m just so unsure. Everything except you feels so strange,” I encouraged her lamely with my own impression of a sardonic smile.

“No, it's me. I really need to be more sensitive about how I deal with others. I guess that’s a part of growing up!” she said as she slapped me playfully across the shoulder, a little too hard causing me to wince slightly. Had I been at my best I would have caught her by the wrist and then pushed her down… Damn this weakened body! From Aoi I learned that even before my ‘transition’ Arata had not exactly been sportiest, being more on an indoor type. Being behind bars had also made me an indoor type, but my circumstance had forced me to really focus on my physical condition.

“Yeah, the doctors also said that my memories might come back soon…” I brought up frustratedly and allowed my real emotions to lend credence to my voice. Gah! I really wanted her to go and call Mizuki over. Damnit, she would not be available until the day after tomorrow and it would be strange if she visited only me on her day off. Perhaps I could still make her do something humiliating over the phone? No, no, no that would lead me to masturbate in my currently sexually heightened state. I needed all of my strength before my next conquest and I decided that I would no longer pleasure myself in this new world. It would give my predatory behavior an edge, like the hunters of old that stalked the primal forests. Also, a man needed rules to live by after all to give some semblance of order to his life.

This actually seemed to worry Aoi, who bit her lip in nervousness. She was having a sympathetic reaction to my own worry and frustration, the sibling bond at work. Was the earlier seed I planted about Reiko when I kissed her finally taking root? That would be delightful.

“It’s alright. You don’t need to worry. Just take things nice and slow. It’s just you and me bro. Even if your memories never come back we’ll just get to know another once again!” she said, deciding to be the strong one, her fist thumping against her small chest.

“Thanks, sis,” I replied trying to mirror her emotions, “I’m glad I have you. I guess it’s just the two of us,” I finished with a mock long-drawn sigh.

“What’s that supposed to mean!” she rejoined playfully, the fire fully returning to her eyes.

However, Instead of physically assaulting she simply reached into her school bag and drew out a small knife. A flood of adrenaline filled me as I saw the glinting blade, the flight or fight response triggering my blame to immediately start planning for various imaginary scenarios. This had not been the first time a girl had threatened me with a knife.

My overimaginative mind returned from its leave of good sense as her other hand continued to quest in her large bag, finally withdrawing a small plate and a large red, pink, and yellow apple from its depths. My sister smiled at me as she began to peel the fruit. Once she finished she cut up the apple into small pieces and tried to jokingly feed me one of them.

I did not refuse her which brought on another round of blushing, my lips lightly brushing across her fingers, causing her to look a little way and hold the offending digits to her chest. After I had finished eating we talked about the little things. The poor dear was actively trying to hide her surprise when I revealed gaps in my knowledge. She really was trying to help me along with the memories I never had possessed. Finally, after a few hours, the world grew dark and she took her left my hospital room promising to see me again soon. She wanted to see me tomorrow immediately after school, but I waived her off telling her that she should be practicing her swimming and helping out with her graduation preparation from junior high.

As her steps faded down the hallway and the background sounds of the hospital came to the fore I finally licked my lips as I pictured her trembling naked body. How long would I wait before the time was right to finally pluck this spring flower?

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