Chapter 28: Chapter 28: Ravanos

Chapter 28: Ravanos

Life is good, for little Allyn. He now has his house, and doesn't have to go back to the orphanage.

 All it took, was a bit of deceit, to get him to adopt himself. Now, even though the fizzy potion ran its course, the government officials can't do a thing. And so, Allyn lives by himself, until, one day…

So, what if I am five? I can still punch the vultures and the air heads of this world somewhere that counts. Like, the throat? What, you want a hug? I'll give you a hug, alright…

Now, many have asked me, Allyn, you are a rich boy now. Why are you still bitter? And I have a simple answer to that…

Inflation, you sugar fairies! I had to buy a house, which would be fit enough to house an orphan. That doesn't come cheap, got it? I am almost out of the money from the sea witch, which turned into sea witch cream.

Now I really wish I conned her a couple of more times. What if she pulled out a chest full of gold? Hey, I can be wistful, ok? I am just five years of age!

Anyway, I am broke, and prime to go back to the shelf. Except, this house, and everything I bought, won't be coming back with me to the orphanage. No, the government officials are going to keep it in trust. Which means only one thing…

Daylight robbery of an orphan toddler! If I could spit in the face of the person who keeps on coming up with such laws, I would spit like a snowball cannon. I swear to Harika, one day, I will do to that greedy son of a hag the same, as he did to me.

What? Was I supposed to say I'd hurt him, or kill him, or shit? I am just five, people. How am I bleeping supposed to do that? Anyway, today is a normal day.

I had to go to the bakery, and buy some of yesterday's bread. Do you know how much that vulture, the baker, charged me? One silver coin. That is 100 copper coins. That is… 1/10th of what I have now. In my piggy bank.

But the sun is shining, there are no clouds, and people are screaming. So, I have this going for me, which is… wait. People are screaming?

I run to the window, and open the curtains. Everyone is running away like headless chickens. And there is this big ass satyr like creature towering over the town. Except, it has a goat's head, and has smoke rising from its nostrils.

"Bring me my scepter back!" The giant demon yells, as people keep on screaming, pushing, and running.

Oh, this is not good. I don't have the cheat ability of the fizzy potion, to have a quicker mind. And, with how small I am, how do I outsmart this thing? I mean, what if it steps on me?

I look around in my house, which has gotten really bare these days. Furthermore, I had to sell so many things. Is this what I want from life? I shake my head.

With a sure step, and grim resolve, I get out of the house. I cup my hands over my mouth, and then yell:

"Hey, sir, do you need any help?" What? I got to play to my strengths. And my greatest strength is looking like a cherub. The demon turns to me, and barks a laugh.

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"Little boy, what help can you offer?" I put the thing in the category of those I do not snark against. It is a rare category. Not even the matron in the orphanage managed to make the cut. Or, that hag, Astrid.

"I am an adventurer, sir. I vanquished the Great Witch of the Sea: Astrid. Perhaps, I can help you reclaim your rightful property?" I ask the demon. Then, I focus on his brain.

What an amusing little ant. He probably believes that someone really stole my scepter. Hehe.

My eyes narrow. So, this piece of dung wants to mess with my hometown? Well, not on my watch. I need to get close to it. As close as possible.

"My scepter was stolen from me, young boy. Help me find the thief, and I will reward you," the dung says, and I pretend not to have heard him.

"Sir, can you repeat it? I can't hear you over all that screaming," I say, and the goat thing narrows its eyes at me. Then, it smirks, and shows off fangs.

"What if I pick you up, and bring you really close to my mouth, little boy? Will you hear me then?" He asks, and I resist the urge to smirk.

Well, this is a calculated risk, but it is better than what I had planned. After all, there is a slight chance, that he won't bite down on me. Rather, that he would gulp me whole.

As luck would have it, after I manage to be cut from the corpse of a very purified demon, I find a scepter inside his stomach. It is a bit eaten up, seeing as it swum in stomach acids for a while, but, hey, gold is gold.

As I skip away, much to the bewildered people, who are probably going to end up eating the demon, or, sell his offal to the potion's black market, I think about life in general.

I seem to have a knack for pulling the leg of the brain-dead. Yet, even I know that my cuteness won't save me for the rest of my life. I need to train. Like, do push-ups, sit-ups, drink smoothies, and buy a kick-ass magical sword, which can blast fireballs.

Hm, why do I need the exercises if I can blast fireballs? Occasionally, I pull my own leg…

People were so shocked that little Allyn managed to bring Harika's wrath on the demon Ravanos, that they didn't think to take away his find.

As luck would have it, the little boy had made just about enough from the sale of the golden rod, to cover his expenses for the next three years. Plus, to buy a sword that used to belong to the Ultimate Hero of Fate, Joe.

Well, even smart ass snarky little boys end up scammed, from time to time.

To be continued…

 

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