Chapter 6: Chapter 6: The Coffee Table of Magical Knowledge, part 2

Chapter 6: The Coffee Table of Magical Knowledge, part 2

Demon Lord Barton:

Finally, I have the Hero of Ultimate Fate. My supposed vanquisher. He seems to have a broken leg. But, before I vanquish him, I must see what is so special about this table. I can sense that it has powerful beings in it, but they seem to be silent.

"Oh, spirits, talk to me. I am the demon lord, and I demand…"

"Who do you think you are, demanding shit? Go back to your mama," I blinked at the audacity of that voice. Why did it sound like a grumpy old man?

"Oh, spirits, please, tell me your names…"

"How rude! Asking us about our names, without giving his own!" The same grumpy grandpa says.

"My name is…"

"Lord pimple face," I don't like the snicker at the end. Not one bit.

"Demon Lord…"

"Look, we get it, you are a demon lord. What the fuck do you want, eh, you darn pygmy?"

Hm, I don't think the wizards want to learn my name. Do they know about my special ability, to take over minds, once they learn my name? I must treat with caution.

"Oh, spirits…"

"Quit calling us spirits. We are not dead. Now, feck off!" I narrow my eyes at the table. Well, if one wants to be a nail, then they will meet a hammer.

As I summoned a fireball in my hand, I also placed a barrier around the Ultimate Hero of Fate. He was polite enough, I suppose. Besides, he already has a broken leg. I can easily kidnap him, and make the king of Oceania pay ransom. Hehe.

I hit the table with the fireball and… nothing happens. There isn't even a burned mark on the table. My eyes widen.

Just what sort of artifact is this one?

"If you are keen to learn our names then… you must place an apple on the table," come a different voice, but no less old than the grumpy grandpa. I shrug. Well, fine. What is an apple, really?

Just one problem, I don't have any apples. And so, I go to the kitchen area of the hut, and rummage around.

Gold apples.

Red apples.

Crab apples.

Green apples.

Wait, Gold Apples? Just from where does the hero of fate have a golden apple from? I take it, and then sniff it. Yes, rich in mana. Immortality, here I come!

I eat the apple, and then feel a tug. Instead of me still standing in the kitchen, I feel as if I am standing to the side. I look down, and see my body in a heap. The half-eaten apple still in my hands.

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What the heck? Just what sort of apple is this one? I have been tricked! I turn around, to look at the table. Furthermore, I finally see them. Two wizards, old and gray, looking at me, and having chains around their legs.

"Heh, greed always wins," the calmer grandpa says, as he moves closer to me. "How did you like my special Kill Everything Apple, eh, demon lord?"

"You? You created it?" Just why was this wizard willing to risk the Hero of Ultimate Fate? Didn't he know that I would take over Oceania sooner, without him constantly blundering his way through stopping me?

I see that the hero is waking up, and wonder, just why didn't the potion put him under for longer?

"Ah, shit," the hero says, as he sees my body on the kitchen table. "Got to get my shovel."

What? What sort of hero is he? Shouldn't he check for vitals?

"Hey, hero. I am still alive, you twat!" I screamed at him, but he didn't seem to care. Instead, he dragged my body out in the back garden, where I see a lot of other familiar faces with chains tying them to lumps in the garden.

There is demon lord Baer, and demon lord MacCornak. Demon Lady Annalise is sitting and chatting with Demon Lady Dorthe. And these are just the ones I can recognize.

"What is happening here?" I asked them, wondering why the hero doesn't seem to hear me.

"Ah, you have been had by the wizards, Barton. Such a pity. I really liked the way to destroy all roads as the first thing you did, when you took up office," demon lord MacCornak told me.

"Just who are these wizards?" I asked him, wanting to know more.

"No idea. I just know they live in the coffee table. They produce golden apple fakes, every time one of us comes and tries to kill the hero. I like to call them the Demon Banes," MacCornak said, and I bow my head.

"I want to live in the coffee table too. I hear a rumor that if you live in the coffee table, you can speak with the hero," demon lady Dorthe said, and I get an idea. I go to the hero, just as he begins to dig my hole, and then push him into the ground.

At least, I try to. Because he seems to just stagger, and shiver.

"Darn it all, another ghost. As if it isn't enough, that there is a ghost in the darned coffee table. Just how am I going to kill a demon lord, if the table keeps on killing them first?"

I blinked at these words. So, the hero knew. Did he know all along? With determination in my eyes, I tug at the chain connecting me to my corpse, and then manage to rip it off.

The hero continues to dig, none the wiser. I went back inside the house, and then jumped in the coffee table. What greeted me were two old men, playing a card game. I furrow my sleeves, summon an iron baton, and let them get a piece of justice.

Nowadays, the coffee table is possessed by two wizards, and one demon lord. Neither of them are of any assistance to the hero. But, when Alek hears the baton dishing out justice after every time the two wizards get too noisy, he smiles.

The grave of Demon Lord Barton is the most tended to in the entire garden. And if the hero sometimes listens to the demon lord, well, at least the demon lord doesn't try to con him.

A few years later…

Oceania burned to a crisp, the hero went insane from the voices in his head, and became the next Demon Lord. Most of the people who see him could swear, that there is a shadow behind his back at all times…

And a coffee table right in the middle of his throne room.

The end of The Coffee Table of Magical Knowledge.

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