Chapter 16: [Chapter sixteen] Comfort is king

Despite the infinite depths of my social ineptitude, resolving my little misunderstanding with Yahanaseara took a lot less time than I expected.

...though on second thought, I may have her awareness of said infinite depths to thank for that quick resolution.

I can't say this doesn't hurt my ego a little bit.

Or a lot.

And while my concerns about our little not-really-a-spat potentially drawing the attention of the rest of the caravan was another possible source of damage to my fragile psyche, that issue was resolved even quicker than the previous one.

Why might that be?

Well apparently, all the workers out here are way too busy loading carts and counting heads to be paying any mind to whatever the hell the two of us might be up to.

Hooray for being ignored.

So with all that crap out of the way, I once again don my Serious Adventurer persona and motion for Yahanaseara to follow me.

"...I think this is it..."

The two of us stop in front of what I'm assuming will be the front of the caravan once it gets moving- a cart considerably larger than most of the others I've seen around here, drawn by a pair of sturdy-looking draft llamas.

"Hey."

I call out to a man who's in the middle of stacking cargo onto it.

"Hm?" He glances back at us. "Uh, can I help you?"

"We're the-"

"Oh!"

He cuts me off with a loud clap of his bearlike hands.

"You're the adventurer escorts, right?" he asks, pointing at both of us. "Nils just told me that we finally got a taker on the guild request."

"Yeah, that's us," I reply. "I was assuming that you guys'd want us to sit somewhere near the front of the caravan, and this one-"

"Right on both accounts," the man says, cutting me off once again. "This's the lead cart, and I was just in the middle of moving the cargo around so you'll have somewhere to sit."

"Hm," I nod.

Despite the fact that its size would indicate that it's a fair bit more expensive than the others in this caravan, this cart lacks any sort of coverings.

...though now that I think about it, that's probably to keep from interfering with the driver's field of vision.

And while its maximum capacity is most definitely massive, it seems to only be loaded about halfway, with a bit more open space around the front and rear.

"The driver seat's obviously occupied," the man says, but you're free to sit behind me if you want.

He points to the space in question, which has a few less crates than the surrounding area.

"I'll assume you'd prefer the back, though?"

"If it at all possible," I respond.

"Eh, it was worth a try," he shrugs. "So much for pleasant conversation on the way..."

Sorry, man. You seem nice enough, but there's no way in Hell I'm about to subject myself to the mental torture that is attempting smalltalk with a total stranger for the better part of two days.

My nerves can barely handle this much verbal interaction as it is.

"Well then..."

Cracking his knuckles, he circles around to the back of the cart and resumes his shuffling of cargo.

"...pardon me while I move this stuff around so you ladies won't have to face backwards the entire way."

"??"

A sudden tug on my sleeve.

"What is wrong with facing backwards?" Yahanaseara asks, an adorable look of adorable confusion on her adorable face.

"Anything to decrease the likelihood of people puking in my cart," the man replies without even looking back.

"Vomit?" She tilts her head. "Why would that happen?"

"Motion sickness," both me and the owner(?) of the cart say in unison.

"Eh?"

"If you don't know, consider yourself lucky," the man replies.

"Mm," I nod in agreement.

I have to admit, this guy stacks cargo like some kind of master. It only takes a couple of minutes for him to rearrange all this stuff into a makeshift seating area along one side of the cart- a row of chair-level crates for us to sit on, with a longer, flatter crate behind them that serves as a backrest.

And considering that our positions are elevated just enough to give a decent enough view around the entire cart, it's clear that he even took field of vision into account.

Cart guy whose name I have no intention of asking, you have earned my respect.

"Lemme know if you need anything adjusted," he says, dusting his hands off as he admires his handiwork. "I'll be in front checking the hitching on the llamas."

"Alright, thanks," I reply.

As he walks off, I give the place we're going to be sitting another once-over before reaching into my sleeve and pulling out an empty bag.

"You are getting more food?" Yahanaseara asks, a look of...

...is that anticipation?

God damn this girl likes to eat.

"Nope," I reply as I finish flapping the bag full of air.

 

Though I cross the endless expanse
My claim yet remains unbroken
Though I wade through a sea of countless impostors
I shall never lose sight of what is mine
I cast away this shell of falsehoods
So that my loyal servant may return to me

To my hand, "Comfy Bag #1!"

 

Script flickers in and out of existence, and an empty bag is replaced with one with considerably more heft to it.

"...comfy bag?"

c'mon quit looking at me like that I wanna smoosh your cheeks so bad

"A wise man once said," I say, stowing those embarrassing sentiments, "comfort is king."

"I do not follow?"

"Eheh..."

With my nonexistent chest swelling with pride, I rest the bag onto the cart...

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...reach inside...

...and pull out a large cushion.

"Comfortable... sleep?"

dammit that adorable look of confusion on her face I wanna tease herrr

"Nah," I shake my head, "comfortable seating."

I then give the cushion a good couple of fluffs to get some volume back into it.

"The carriages we have back home are another issue entirely," I say, "but carts like these don't exactly give the smoothest riding experience."

This one looks admittedly expensive, but that expense seems to be focused on durability rather than comfort.

"Short rides'll leave you with a sore ass, longer ones with a bruised tailbone, and if you really overdo it you'll end up with certain issues that a innocent maiden such as myself shan't speak of aloud."

"Oh," Yahanaseara's eyes widen. "Oh my."

"Which is why I had the brilliant idea of procuring the most comfy cushions I could find. And then, in another stroke of even more brilliant brilliance, I was inspired to enchant this baby here to absorb sudden shocks and all but the most violent impacts!"

A familiar heat is swelling up in my chest...

"And I'm proud to inform you that the enchantment itself was personally performed by yours truly!"

It almost feels nostalgic...

"While it did use up the entirety of my magical reserves to do so, the personal satisfaction of not having relied on any other mage for such a vital task will never fade for as long as this cushion is in my possession!"

Whoops, I got carried away and forgot to breathe again. That was close, it wouldn'tve been a good look to pass out before the job even starts...

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Steady, Brigitte.

"And here you go!"

Holding out the pillow with both hands, I thrust it towards my lovely assistant.

"Eh-"

Ah, that look... it's the same one as when Ciel-

"B..." Yahanaseara gingerly accepts the cushion, which seems almost comically massive when compared to her petite frame. "...but did you not prepare this for yourself?"

"Oh don't you worry your pretty little head," I say with a beaming smile. "Because a true mage..."

Once again, I reach into the bag.

"...is always prepared."

And with that, I triumphantly pull out a second cushion of the exact same material, size and design.

"When raw materials are readily available, only a fool would neglect to prepare a backup," I say triumphantly.

"I... see."

blink

blink blink

Her long, fluttering eyelashes hold me entranced for a precious few seconds...

...but then I finally fucking realize that I totally lost my cool and started ranting about how amazing I am in this clearing full of total strangers what the fuck is wrong with meeeeeeeeeee

"A- anyways, let's get seated."

Temporarily ignoring my immense embarrassment to be properly suffered through later, I hop up onto the cart and then turn around to help Yahanaseara up.

"......"

Just in time to catch a repeat performance of last night's acrobatics, as she tosses the cushion onto the crates where we'll be sitting, launches herself into the freaking air with a single push of her slender arm onto the cart and does a full 360-degree flip in the air before finally landing as gracefully as a cat atop her chosen seat.

Truly a treat for the eyes.

"Ooh!"

A sudden squeal of surprise, just as I'm sitting down.

"This cushion thing feels absolutely lovely!"

As she rocks back and forth in every direction, Yahanaseara's glittering eyes are filled with wonder.

"I daresay that it is the most comfortable thing I have ever sat upon!"

"Uh-" I can't help but stammer. "Well I'm glad you like it?"

"I do, very much!"

Her beaming smile fills me with the warm fuzzies, and I'm actually starting t-

"Er, pardon me..."

Aaaaaaaand there they go.

Gone.

Having been jolted back into my usual crappy mood, I glare in the direction of the voice who just called out...

...and find a certain guy who's paying us to be here.

"Eheh, sorry to bother you ladies again," Nils says, clasping his hands together in an apologetic gesture.

Yes. Yes you are bothering me.

"Did you need something?" I ask, stowing my annoyance.

"Well..." he laughs nervously. "...I happened to catch your sales pitch just now, and I must admit that it was quite convincing.  So I was wondering if you might possibly have a third one of those cushions for sale?"

"........."

Silence.

"Sorry, I only brought the two," I reply once my brain starts working again.

"Damn, I should've figured," he grumbles. "And here I thought I'd finally found a way to avoid these constant hemorrhoids..."

With another apology, he walks back to do whatever Nilses do.

While I do what Brigittes do.

Namely, attempt to resist the urge to dig a hole and hide in there forever out of embarrassment because god damn it they heard me I want to die

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