Chapter 24: Chapter 24: Trying to Be a Good Person

PART 5: The Sowing Tomorrow Gala Job – The Rope

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Wynn and I escort Becca home the following day. The two of them were opposites during the trip; Becca adored me with affection and cuddled up against me while Wynn remained distant and stoic. It was only after Becca parted did Wynn speak.

“It’s good to see you’re retiring from being The Grandmaster.”

“I’m not retiring yet.”

“…Are you using Rebecca?”

“She’s essential to my scheme, but I’m not running a sweetheart swindle if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“…Fill me in already.”

“I’m executing a double bluff,” I said. “I wish for the investigation team to probe Becca while she’s in the dark.”

“While?”

“I’ll inform her of the truth soon—”

“What happened to giving me time to study her?” Wynn asked with a restrained voice.

“Gale happened.” I casted a glare. “Besides, this isn’t all that different from your actions in Sokkinhveim.”

“How is this anything like that?! I was—”

“Ignoring my wishes!”

“Sorry, I’m not into supporting death wishes. It’s part of why I’m a bodyguard.”

“I don’t harbor a death wish,” I hissed.

“Fooled me. Guess you’re better at this con game than I’ve given you credit for.”

“I’m trying to be a good person!”

“You don’t need to do all this to be good! Cass, you’re rich! Go donate money to charity or whatever! Honestly, sometimes I think all this ‘justice’ talk is an excuse to get some thrill your normal life doesn’t provide.”

I stiffened. “If you believe that, why follow me?”

“Damn it, not this again…”

“Wynn, why—”

“Because this is all my fault. You wouldn’t have got a taste for this if I didn’t get wrapped up in Marius’ shit.”

“Explain.”

“What’s there to explain? If Marius didn’t dupe me, I wouldn’t have got involved in his scheme. If I didn’t get involved, you wouldn’t have realized something was up and got involved.”

“If I hadn’t gotten involved—” I began.

“If you hadn’t gotten involved, you wouldn’t have ever experienced the rush of being on the other side of the law. That’s what drives you. I’ve seen how much you love the challenge. Hell, I’m sure that’s one reason you come up with the most absurd schemes: to prove that you can! None of that would’ve ever awakened if I didn’t screw up. I don’t screw up, you don’t rescue me, and we never end up...here.”

My eyes bulged while my insides churned. “…Was what you said before a lie?”

“What I said before?”

“Regarding your reasons for working with me. About how you did feel you were doing some good from this. Were you lying?”

“First, I said that I believe it sometimes. Second, I wasn’t lying. But can you honestly say you’ve done all you have purely because it’s the ‘right’ thing?”

I began to gnash my teeth, but a part of me recognized how wrathful I had grown. I cannot control others if I cannot control myself, replayed once more through my head.

I sealed my eyes and pulled in a lungful before easing it out.

“Take Sokkinhveim,” Wynn continued. “Aren’t you just angry you didn’t get to do things your way? That you didn’t get to prove yourself up against Wyatt?”

Ten… I counted as I took in a gulp. Then I counted nine and exhaled. The same happened with eight and seven and six and five.

The world slowed again as I counted. My frustration dissipated. My tactical mind reclaimed control. “I wasn’t angry for that reason. …Or, I suppose I should say I wasn’t angry solely because of you vetoing my scheme. You jeopardized an asset. Need I remind you how much I loathe collateral damage?”

“Wyatt was a threat.”

“Which is why you should’ve left me where I was,” I said with a hint of venom. “If Wyatt was the threat you suspected, we should’ve been the ones handling it.”

“A good thief knows when to walk away!”

You are reading story The Confessions of Cassidy Cain (Grandmaster of Theft #1) at novel35.com

“And a noble thief takes the heat to protect innocents. We’re heroes who use crime as a tool, not criminals masquerading as heroes.”

“Again, how can you call yourself the hero when you’re in it for the rush.”

The side of my forehead throbbed. Sablin! I thought. Wynn seemed intent on questioning my motives. If I was going to make any progress with him, I had to address his concerns. However, I suspected denying his assertions wouldn’t help, what with him reaching the conclusion on his own. I had to strike from another angle.

“Let’s assume my motives are impure,” I said. “So what? Why must we operate on a binary of ‘pure motives equal good’ and ‘impure motives negate any goodness’?”

“Because you could just be rationalizing everything. The clients, the choice of marks, the scores – all of this could be one big rationalization to make yourself feel better about the fact you enjoy this. How is that heroic?”

“Isn’t the fact I concern myself with such factors sufficient evidence of my authenticity? In fact, isn’t the fact I’m risking everything with these jobs evidence enough?”

“It doesn’t count if—”

“It counts to our clients! At the end of the day, they praise the results. So why does a lack of motive purity matter? Why does impure motives negate a positive outcome?! Did it matter when I forgave you for assisting Marius when he returned?”

Wynn winced – as expected. I had brought out the heavy ammunition.

“I didn’t act purely out of compassion,” I said. “Some of it was a simple desire to not see you leave. You’re a stellar right-hand and my family invested a great deal into you. Regardless, do you care that my motives were mixed? Did my self-interest negate from what I did? From what I risked?”

Wynn thumped his forehead against the steering wheel and rest it against it.

I did my utmost to remain composed, but my leg trembled. Please let this go, I thought. I wasn’t certain I could make everything work without him.

“I’m not sure if it’s the best thing ever,” Wynn said as he rose his head back up, “but it’s something. It’s more than some do.”

I slumped back into the exterior and smiled.

“Besides,” he continued, “it’s not like my reasons aren’t mixed as well. That’s part of why I didn’t want to answer when you last asked. What I said about how this all helps me wasn’t a lie, but I also just don’t want to see anything happen to you because of me.”

“Don’t blame yourself for my choices. I’m The Grandmaster of Theft because I choose to be The Grandmaster of Theft. What occurred with Marius was but a single thread in something long weaved. Furthermore, you needn’t force yourself to protect me if you don’t wish to remain in this life. I can carry out my scheme on my own.”

I'd have to discard the element of disinformation, but I had no intention of telling him that then and there. I figured he’d feel compelled to stay on if he knew. If his heart wasn’t in it, I wished to know.

Wynn locked his jaw and his brow knotted together. “I’ll quit when you quit.”

“If this is a matter of obligation, you needn’t fret. You’ve saved me a dozen times over since The Lost Heir Job. You’ve repaid any imagined debt.”

“I’m not imagining any debt.” He twisted the car key and the engine roared to life. “And I’ll save you a dozen times more if I must. So let’s get going.”

I arched my brow. “Why assist an ‘arrogant, thrill-seeking loon’?”

“Because said arrogant, thrill-seeking loon is my best friend. Plus you reminded me that what we do matters to those we help, not why we do it. So, what’s the plan?”

I brought him up to speed on my double bluff scheme as we cruised back to Cain Manor. When I finished, he let out one of his sighs. “This one’s a solid eight on the crazy meter.”

“I’d argue Becca reduces it at least to seven, perhaps even a six.”

“She’s part of what makes it an eight – and I’m being generous. I’m still not big into bringing her in on this.”

“Will it remain an issue if I retire?”

“You can’t be serious. What about that stuff about how all of this matters to those we help?”

The walls of my throat thickened as the question of what mattered more, personal satisfaction or devotion to others, arose once more. I swallowed before speaking.

“What we discussed before, about how thieves live on borrowed time, is likewise valid. I need time to sort through my thoughts and emotion. What’s more, I need to discuss it with Becca and you.”

“I mean, we could always now—” Wynn dropped his head. “No, we can’t because we need to clear the air first with The Crawfords and your gramps. Which means keeping Rebecca in the dark.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Yeah, yeah… Before we move on, I’ve one last thing to say: sorry for Sokkinhveim.”

I blinked and tilted my head.

“I don’t know if leaving you in would’ve avoided this mess,” he said, “but it’s clear it didn’t help.”

I blinked again and again. I even thought I hallucinated the apology for a moment. Then a sense of… peace washed over me. My chest swelled with each breath as his words forced my lips wide. If I had any lingering doubts about our partnership, Wynn eradicated them.

“The past is the past,” I said. “Let’s focus on not repeating its mistakes.”

If you’re wondering why I never apologized for proceeding with Becca despite our agreement, the answer is simple: I wasn’t sorry. Why apologize if I didn’t regret my decision? Wynn didn’t deserve an insincere apology and I was confident in my choices with Becca. Or at least I was at the time.

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