Chapter 68: Chapter 68 – Natalie: Livid

Because Hugh overall had been so good to me and for me in so many ways, I sometimes forgot he was totally a guy. I seethed as he was telling me that he didn’t want me to fight alongside him. I nearly erupted when he said he was going to pick up three new girls instead. I was livid.

“So I’m like your admin assistant, now?” I asked. “Do you need me to pick up your dry cleaning, too?”

“Uh…” That was all that came out of his mouth. His eyes looked like a deer caught in the middle of the road by a speeding car at night.

“You don’t think I can fight just as well as any other girl you pick up?” I demanded. “You don’t trust me to watch your back?”

“I just didn’t think it was right for me to ask you to do that.”

“No, you didn’t think! It’s alright to ask me to parade my body naked in front of you and in public and show off to anyone you want me to. It’s alright to ask me to trust you enough to have naked pictures and videos of me. It’s alright for you to ask me to have sex with you, to give you my virginity. But, when the fate of the entire world might be at stake, it might not be alright for you to ask me to help you fight for it? What the crap, Hugh? What the crap?”

He met Julia’s eyes, imploring her to step in on his behalf.

“No,” she said. “Don’t look at me. This is your problem.”

“You know, Julia, you’re right. This is my problem. This is my responsibility. The system, for whatever reason, chose me, and, from the very beginning, I suspected that something like this was coming. It’s all on me. Do I want to fight and probably die? No. But I don’t think I have a choice. I have to do this. You don’t.”

“I am your girlfriend all the time, not just when we’re having sex or on a date. All the time. If you only want me to be there for the good stuff, then what am I really to you?”

“That’s why I’m talking to you now. I need your help. I need a full party, and I can’t do that by myself.”

I was about to respond to that, but Julia stepped in.

“Nat, I get that you’re upset, but can I offer some advice?”

I fixed her with a glare for a moment before nodding. Given all that she’d been through and how happy I was to have her back in my life, she deserved to have her say.

“My parents are smothering me,” she said. “Watching my every move. Checking on me constantly. Their incessant nannying is almost as bad as the cancer. And, at first, I was so, so mad at them. I yelled at them. There were tears, many tears, from both me and them. I’d never seen my dad cry before. It took me a while to realize how much losing me is going to hurt them. If either of them could put themselves in my place, they’d gladly do it, and smothering me is the only way for them to deal. Even though it’s insufferable, I have to suffer it for their sakes because I love them.”

Her voice started to get heavy and she cleared her throat. “They’re not being overprotective because they don’t trust me. They’re doing it because the thought of me dying is just that painful and there’s nothing else that they can do.”

I wanted to be mad. I didn’t want to see reason.

“I don’t think Hugh didn’t ask you to fight alongside him because he doesn’t value you enough,” she said. “I think it’s that he values you too much.”

I turned to him. “Is that right?”

He wouldn’t look at me, and I was pretty sure his eyes were moist. “I can’t bear to see you hurt.”

“And I really, really don’t want to get hurt,” I said. “Nor do I want to die. I don’t think I can sit around my apartment, though, knowing that you’re risking your life. I’ve read books about army wives waiting for their deployed husbands to come home from a war zone. As absolutely terrifying as it is, I’d rather be with you where I can help.”

“Nat, I have no idea what we’re going to face. It might be a breeze. We get our subclass and get loads and loads of skills and attributes and equipment, waltz up to a mob, and kick its butt. But I doubt that will be what happens. Instead, we might face something that we have no shot of killing. A dragon. A lich. Something that could one shot us with no difficulty. Or it may not be mobs at all. We might have to fight other humans. Or other intelligent creatures. How do you feel about having to kill someone?”

“Not good. Not good at all. But it’s better than the alternative. Waiting to hear that you’re dead. Or never even finding out for sure. One day you go out and just never come back. What then?”

He tensed, clearly ready to continue arguing about it, but then he just deflated like a balloon. “If I’m not strong enough to protect you and something happens to you, I will not be able to live with myself. I don’t have the willpower to stop you if this is what you really want, but please understand what it could mean to both me and you.”

“If you can’t protect me, then I’m going to just have to become strong enough to protect both of us.”

There my mouth went again, writing checks that my body was going to have to cash.

“I’m in, too,” Julia said.

We both turned to her.

“That makes no sense,” Hugh said. “Why?”

“Because I owe both of you.”

“For saving your life,” he said. “Putting it in danger again would negate the saving it in the first place, so that’s kind of stupid.”

I could tell he was getting frustrated at our reactions not being at all what he had expected. He wouldn’t normally refer to anything someone did as “stupid.”

“Hugh, dying of cancer sucks. There’s no meaning in it. You just get sick and wither away from the inside as you watch your loved ones suffer at seeing you like that. Risking my life to help my best friend and someone I hope becomes my friend try to save the world? That’s different. And, no offense, but I’d feel a whole lot better about the world’s chances if I was there with you.”

She paused but continued again before either Hugh or I could speak. “Look, I don’t want this to sound boastful, but I’m good at things. Sports. School. I’ve excelled at everything I’ve ever tried. Except, you know, fighting cancer.” She chuckles. “Well, with your help, I guess I even somehow managed that.”

I shared a smile with her.

“Trust me,” she said. “I will be an asset to your team. In fact, if you can find someone to replace me that you two agree would be better than me, I’ll bow out without a word.”

Hugh turned to me.

“She’s right. Julia is truly good at everything. As much as I hate the thought of my best friend risking her life in combat, I can’t think of someone I’d more want to have on my side when it counts.”

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“Okay,” he said, defeated, “I guess we have three of our four party members, then.”

Clap!

Julia had brought her hands together and was rubbing them against one another excitedly. “Yes. Time to pick out a new girl. We can help with that, right Nat? How about the waitress? She’s kind of cute.”

“Uh…” Hugh began, “I don’t think that cuteness is the primary attribute we’re looking for.”

“Of course it is,” Julia said. “Considering the things we need to do to gain levels, we need for her to be attractive. Besides, think of it from her perspective, she’s stepping into a situation where she’s going to be naked alongside two total hotties.”

Hugh glared at her, obviously becoming very irritated.

“Julia,” I said. “I think we need to hear him out right now.”

“Okay. Fine.”

“First of all,” he said, “I’ve identified a candidate.”

“Oh!” Julia exclaimed. “She’s cute, right?”

Hugh glared at her again. “She’s knowledgeable about litrpg, is an actual gamer, and has a lot of experience with archery. So she’s a guaranteed asset when it comes to combat. She’s also highly compatible with the system.”

“I’m getting worried,” Julia said. “This is sounding more and more like when someone sets a guy up with a girl and describes her as having a good personality.”

Hugh’s lips got tight.

“Julia!” I said.

She deflated. “I’m sorry. I really am. I know intellectually that this is serious, but it’s just really hard for me to accept on an instinctual level. Plus, I’m still just so … giddy about my prognosis. After going from facing guaranteed death to being told I’m going to live, it’s hard for me to be down about anything.”

Some of the tension in Hugh’s body drained.

“How do you know this girl is compatible with the system?” I asked, turning the topic back to the point.

“A new skill,” he said.

He told us about Candidate Appraisal and what it had revealed about a girl named Amy.

“Okay,” Julia said when he’d finished, “I get that she’ll be a huge … uh, a good asset in combat, but we’re talking about a girl with serious body issues because of her weight. Do you really think she’s going to fit in with our group?”

He glared at her again.

“I think that’s a legitimate concern,” I said. “I mean, I don’t feel right excluding someone based on appearance, but I think we should at least discuss it.”

Selfishly, I didn’t know if I wanted another girl on the team who was experiencing so much doubt about her body. I already had the market on that cornered, and I didn’t know if seeing my own issues reflected in someone else would make things harder or easier for me.

On the other hand, not having to compete with another girl as beautiful as Julia was a good thing. Hmm.

He caught my eye, clearly unhappy with me. I tried to think if I’d ever seen him truly displeased with me, but I couldn’t remember a time. I began to wonder if I was maybe on the wrong side of this one. This point was obviously important to him.

“How about we use your skill on a few more girls, like the waitress?” Julia said. “Maybe we’ll find someone who is an even better match.”

“No problem,” he said, his lips tight. “Just get their permission for me to access deep personal aspects of their psyche that they’ve probably never shared with anyone, and I’ll do it.”

“Now you’re just being silly,” she said.

“Really? Let’s see how you feel about it.” He looked at her and his eyes glazed.

Her eyes went wide. “Hugh! No!”

“Invalid target,” he said. “You’re already a system user so not a candidate.”

She let out a breath. “Okay. Point taken. Massive invasion of privacy. I’m sorry I asked.” She paused. “But the sex question is still relevant. Nat and I have had sex. You and Nat have had sex. It only makes sense for you and me to complete that circle so that we can all have fun together. And, if we’re all doing that, it doesn’t make sense to not bring the new girl in on the fun.”

Hugh looked at me, and I shrugged. The system was clearly pushing us toward this. Though I had more than a little trepidation over the idea, avoiding it was just delaying the inevitable.

“I don’t like that idea,” Hugh said. “I don’t like you feeling like you have to have sex with-”

“You have got that part so totally wrong,” Julia said, interrupting. “I get that you and Nat were virgins when you first got together and you’re really into having feelings for each other before doing the deed, but most people don’t feel that way anymore. My sexual encounters usually begin with me meeting a guy’s eyes across a room at a party. I find him attractive. He finds me attractive. We go to a room, clothes come off, tab A is inserted in slot B, and we’re done. I don’t even have to know his name. I don’t expect him to know mine.”

“Julia,” Hugh said, “I don’t feel like you’re listening to what I’m trying to say, so let me just be as blunt as possible. Frankly, I have absolutely no desire to have sex with you.”

Well, that just happened.

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