Chapter 31: Room for Rent

The blues are standing around each other.

"Well, Tex, that was a great story." Tucker says. "I especially liked the part about Church getting pansted in high school."

"I found that part to be entirely out of context." Church states.

"But she made it fit so well into the story." Bell says.

"But I still don't get how we're supposed to stop the A.I." Tucker says.

"I don't remember much from the implantation process." Tex claims. "I do remember that the A.I. can be transmitted from host to host, by way of the helmet radios. Before I learned anything else, the A.I. took over and we escaped. If we can kill the A.I. and not give it a place to jump, we'll beat it."

"And then I can have my body back. Deal?" Church asks.

"Deal."

"Alright. Tex and I will possess Caboose, then." He turns to Tucker and Bell. "Tucker, Bell, we need you two to work on the Reds. Get them to turn off their helmet radios so that O'Malley won't have anywhere to go once we get him out of there."

"Right."

"What?!" Tucker questions. "How the hell are we gonna do that?"

"I don't know. Come up with a plan." Church says.

"Come on, you know how I feel about plans."

"This seems like a really hard task." Bell points out.

"You're not gonna have much time once we get in there, so move fast." Tex says.

"Oh, I see." Tucker starts. "You have no idea what I should do or how I should do it, but whatever I do, I should do it fast?"

"Yeah, that's right." Church confirims.

"Yup." Tex agrees.

"Wow, you guys are a lot of help." Tucker says sarcastically. 

Church: Try shifting your paradigm. Think outside the box.

Tucker: Hey, the box is there for a reason. I like thinking inside of it. I feel safe in there.

Church: Okay, Tex, ladies first.

Tex: Yeah right! You think I'm gonna leave you alone out here with your body?

Church: (mumbling) Bitch...

Tex: Nice try, Leonard.

Church: Hey, Caboose!

Caboose: (stands up and turns around) Huh?

Church: Heads up!

Church runs into Caboose to possess him. Tex leaves Lopez and does the same.

O'Malley: Noooo...!

Zooms in on Caboose's visor and flashes to white. Fades in to reveal a large, gray room with walkways and large pylons coming out of the ground. Cut to Church in white armor and Tex in black armor, both are no longer transparent.

Church: Where are we?

Tex: We're inside Caboose's mind. Now we just have to find O'Malley and kill him.

Church: Man, this is kinda weird.

Tex: It's hard to get used to, I know.

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Church: No, it's not that. (fades to outside of Caboose's mind) It's just that this place is a whole lot bigger than I thought it was gonna be.

Tucker: (walks up to Caboose) Caboose, are you okay, buddy?

Caboose: (repeating what Church said) This place is a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

Tucker: O-kay. I'm gonna take Sheila, Bell, and Lopez and figure out some way to get the Reds to shut off their radios.

Caboose: Where should we start, Tex?

Tucker: What?

"This is weird." Bell says.

Fades back to inside Caboose's head.

Church: I said where should we start, Tex?

Tex: Just keep your eyes peeled. (Tucker comes up behind Tex) I guarantee (Church spots Tucker) O'Malley will come looking for us.

Church: Hey, Tucker! Is that you?

Tucker: No. What're you? Stupid? Oh, wait. Yes, I am me. I guess I'm stupid.

Church: What're you doing in here? You're supposed to be out there working on your part of the plan!

Tucker: Do you have any food? I love to eat all the food.

Church: What the hell? What's the matter with you?

Tex: This isn't really Tucker. We're in Caboose's head. This is Caboose's mental image of Tucker.

Tucker: Man, I am so unbelievably stupid!

Church: Well, that's great, everyone we meet in here is bound to be as brain dead as Caboose, then.

Caboose approaches from behind.

Caboose: I would not be so sure about that, Mister Church.

Cut to the Reds.

Grif: Great idea, sir. I finally agree with you.

Donut: (walks up to Sarge and Grif) Hey, guys. We might have a problem here. Somebody, and I'm not gonna say who, might've thought that one of the cyborg parts we need for Simmons' surgery was a cupholder. And somebody, not naming any names here, might've left it, along with their favorite smooth jazz compilation CD, in the Warthog. I just don't know who would do such a thing.

Grif: Was it you?

Donut: Yeah.. uh, no! (clears throat) I mean, NO. ...Dammit.

Sarge: Grif, you and Easy Listening stroll on down and retrieve that part from the Warthog. Post Haste!

Grif: Sir, do you think it's safe to be outside the base right now? For all we know the Blues could've already fixed their tank. They could be advancing on us as we speak.

Sarge: Ahh, corny dogs! Even with Lopez helping 'em, it'll take them months to get that tank online, much less to get it movin' again.

Donut: I hope you're right, because if I see that tank headed towards me, I'm totally gonna freak out.

Camera zooms across the canyon to Tucker, Bell, Sheila, and Lopez.

Tucker: Man, I sure hope they don't totally freak out when they see us coming.

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02-06-2023

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