Church, Tucker, Bell, and Caboose are standing on top of Blue Base.
Church turns to Caboose. "Let me get this straight. You gave this guy our flag?"
"Is that bad?" Caboose asks.
"Bad? Oh no, that's not bad! Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?"
"Church, we don't need the sarcasm." Bell says.
"Oh, grow up Bell."
"Sorry."
"There!" Tucker yells. "There he is!"
Church pulls his sniper rifle out and looks down the scope. "Where?" He spots Donut. "Oh! Yeah! Oh, I got him! He's sneakin' around back behind the cliffs."
"He must be one smart son of a bitch." Tucker says.
Cut to Donut looking around the canyon.
Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?
Cut to Church, Tucker, Bell, and Caboose.
"Hey, his armor is standard issue red." Bell says.
"Aw man!" Tucker whines. "That means it's their sergeant."
"Well, that makes sense." Church says. "At least now we know how he got by our defenses."
"Uh, you know, he came in the back door where you guys were standing." Caboose states.
"I tried to tell Church, but he wouldn't listen." Bell says to Caboose.
"Why wouldn't he listen to you, you are a very nice person."
"I know, right."
Tucker speaks up. "Yeah, okay, well, let's take him out, then."
"Roger that." Church says. "Okay, say goodnight, Sarge."
Cut to Donut as Church shoots four times but misses.
Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!
Cut to Church, Bell, and Tucker.
Church lowers the sniper rifle. "Aw, crap." Bell and Tucker stare at Church and he notices. "What?"
"You're really not very good with that thing, are you?" Tucker asks.
"I don't using my gun, yet I have much better aim then you." Bell says.
Cut to Donut.
Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?
Cut to Tucker.
"Oh, great. Now he's taunting us." Tucker complains.
"That's not very nice." Bell says.
"And it's embarrassing."
"Alright, that's it!" Church raises his voice. "I've had it!" He looks to Caboose. "Rookie, you stay here! Me, Bell and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass!"
"Right!" Caboose says.
"Tucker, Bell, you two ready?" Church asks. "Let's go!"
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"There is no way I'm going through that thing." Tucker says.
"I-I agree." Bell timidly says.
"Tucker, Bell, we don't have time for this!" Church states. "Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?"
"I don't know!" Tucker raises his voice. "Why would they give is a tank that no one can drive?"
"We already tested the teleporter, remember?"
"But we just threw rocks through it." Bell says.
"Yeah, and? So what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?"
"Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff." Tucker says.
"Oh, so I guess that's what all this is all about, then?" Church asks. "You're afraid of a little black stuff?"
"NO!" Bell yells.
"Yes! I am!" Tucker says. "I am afraid of black stuff."
Church raises an assault rifle and points it at the two. "Tucker, Bell, I almost hate to do this to you."
"You wouldn't."
"Please don't." Bell whimpers.
"You know, I look at it this way." Church says. "Either A, we go through there and get the flag, or, B, we stay here, and I get to kill you two. Either way, I win."
"For the record, I want you to know rocks aren't people." Tucker says.
"And this isn't how you should treat your teammates." Bell states.
"Duly noted." Church says and he motions to the teleporter. "Now get in there."
"Crap. Alright." Tucker says and he lines up to the teleporter with Bell behind him. "One! Two!"
Bell and Tucker run through the teleporter and they don't appear on the other side.
Caboose: ...Huh, they didn't come out the other side...
Church: Yeeaahhh, I've uh- I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
Church runs off the base to chase Donut.
Church: Okay, rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!
Cut to Simmons and Grif.
Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
Grif: (sighs) I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.
Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.
Grif: Bam. (sees Church through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got a Blue guy on the move out there.
Simmons: Where's he headed?
Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)...Simmons, get the Warthog.
Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?
(Grif says this in the Earlier Version)
Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.
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01-21-2023
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