Chapter 211: Ready…Aim…

"Alright, boys." Sarge starts. "We don't have much time, so let's see what we've got."

Simmons clears his throat. "Hello everyone. Private Simmons. Great to be back."

"Wrap it up!" Grif shouts.

"Good to be back."

"We don't care!" Ash shouts.

Simmons sighs. "Alright, just shut up and listen. We had a full armory on board the ship consisting of firearms as well as explosives. I moved as many as I could down here and also took the liberty of setting up a minefield near Red base."

"But you didn't even bury them." Grif says.

"From what Ash told me, they're designed to rest above the ground." Simmons says.

"Uh, with blinking red warning lights?"

"Yeah, I don't understand it either." Ash says.

"Excellent work Simmons." Sarge says. "Now go and organize those firearms."

"Yes, sir!" Simmons runs off.

"Ash, Emily, how's our ammo supply?" Sarge asks.

Ash walks forward and Xi appears on his shoulder.

"We have a good amount." Ash says.

"Enough to last us a few days, maybe less." Emily says.

"Good. Grif, Doc, how are those teleportation tests going?" 

Grif and Doc walk forward. 

"Well, we've learned the cubes can be set to different frequencies." Doc says. "For example, if I throw a cube set to frequency A, it will absorb an abject."

"If I then throw a second cube on frequency A, that object will reappear." Doc explains.

Grif speaks up. "Meanwhile, if I got a cube set to B, I can throw it like so."

"And then throw a second cube set to B, without ever messing with the stuff sucked up by the cube set to A." Grif explains.

"Huh, neat." Ash says.

"Hm." Sarge hums. "So all they do is teleport things? No explosions? No violence?"

"Nah..." Grif says.

"Well I suppose we could make them absorb grenades. Then we could throw the grenade filled cubes back at the enemy."

"At that point wouldn't it just make sense to throw grenades?" Grif asks.

"We're not here to make sense, Private!" Sarge says. "We're here to win! Now take Donut and go find the way to make your stupid cubes do something useful."

Grif sighs. "Fine."

Grif and Donut walk off.

"Ash, you and Emily go with them and make sure their not doing something stupid." Sarge orders.

"On it!" Ash says and he walks after Donut and Grif.

Sarge: And at last we have the Lopezes. Stop standin' next to each other! I can never tell you two apart!

Lopez 2.0 looks at Lopez's head and then at Sarge.

Lopez 2.0: ¿Está jodidamente serio?[Are you fucking serious?]

Sarge: I need you two to get to work repairing CC's fuel tanks.

Lopez: ¿Reparar el robot descompuesto?[Repair the malfunctioning robot?]

Lopez 2.0: ¿El que trató matar a todo el mundo?[The one that tried to kill everyone?]

Sarge: I can't wait to see her, triumphantly leading the charge on the front lines, glistening in the sunlight, with the blood of her fallen enemies!

Lopez 2.0: ¡Esa será su sangre! ¡Ella cree que todo es su enemigo, idiota![That will be your blood! She thinks everything is her enemy, you moron!]

Sarge: Wait a minute, this is a terrible idea!

Lopez 2.0: Gracias a Dios.[Oh thank god.]

Lopez: Solo espera.[Just wait.]

Sarge: I can't trust an idiotic robot with a job as important as this!

Lopez: Ahí está.[There it is.]

Lopez 2.0: ¡¿DISCULPE?![EXCUSE ME!?]

Sarge: Change of plans. You two go prep the work station, and then wait for me to arrive to do the job myself. I'm gonna go find my favorite welding torch.

Sarge walks off. Cut to the Lopezes.

Lopez 2.0: ...Está loco. Están todos locos.[...He's insane.They're all insane.]

Lopez: ¿Oye, dónde está Doc?[Hey, where's Doc?]

Cut to Blue base. Cut to Tucker backing up from Caboose.

Tucker: Okay, how's that?

Cut to Caboose with his helmet repaired.

Caboose: Nope. Still can't see anything.

Tucker: Open your eyes.

Caboose: Oh my god, the graphics are incredible!

Tucker: You're welcome.

Caboose: Ah, thanks, Tucker. Ah... Ya 'know we may have had our differences in the past. I have called you stupid... You have called me stupid... I have tried to kill you...

Tucker: Uh huh.

Caboose: But ya'know at the end of the day, I like to think that you and I are actually (muffled) pretty good friends.

Tucker: What?

Caboose: (muffled) What?

Tucker: I can barely hear you.

Caboose: (muffled) You can't hear me?

Tucker: Dammit, I think fixing your visor somehow broke your radio.

Caboose: (muffled) Tucker, can you hear me!?

Tucker: Just stand still.

Tucker resumes repairing the helmet. Cut to Felix and Washington watching them.

Washington: So how bad is this?

Felix: The man coming for us is named Locus. He's a merc like me, only.. ya'know... terrifying.

Washington: Locus?

Felix: Yeah. Guy's so far off the deep end he prefers to go by the name of his armor instead of the name he was born with. (whistles)

Washington: That's unsettling.

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Felix: (sarcastically) Oh, are you first name "Agent" last name "Washington"? That's so weird!

Washington: That's just...old habits.

Felix: Well, here's to hoping more of your old habits kick in when he shows up. You know I thought there'd be more of you. Weren't you with another Freelancer, and an another A.I.?

Washington: They disappeared not long after we crashed.

Felix: Sheesh. Any idea were they went?

Washington: ...No.

Felix: Hmm. Well, if it makes you feel better I.... I haven't heard anything about them over the radio. So um... That's probably good.

Washington: How was he able to cloak himself?

Felix: Huh?

Washington: Locus. He turned invisible. How?

Felix: The Federal Army's got all sorts of fancy stuff. I got my light shield off a dead soldier. (turns on shield) Shum! (turns off shield) Wah! Pretty cool.

Washington: It's just that I've never seen that kind of equipment outside of Project Freelancer.

Felix: Welcome to the future, Wash. Technology is incredible, and everyone uses it to kill each other.

Washington: Does that mean your guys have the same equipment?

Felix: I wish. The New Republic's barely getting by with what they can. You wouldn't happen to have any high-tech armor aboard that wreck, do you?

Washington: Plenty of armor, just nothing out of the ordinary.

Felix: Hmm...Well at least you can accessorize? Eh? Try a little color combo? Mix it up? I... I'm sorry. I'm just trying to lighten the mood.

Washington:...Actually... I think I might indulge in some of those old habits you were talking about. Follow me.

Wash walks off.

Felix: Man, you are just... cryptic. Like all the time, do you realize that?

Cut to Lopez's head.

Lopez: ¿Qué haces?[What are you doing?]

Zoom out to reveal Lopez 2.0 repairing Cyclops.

Lopez 2.0: Arreglando el robot estúpido para que nuestro creador estúpido termine muerto...estupidamente. [Fixing the stupid robot so our stupid creator can get himself killed...stupidly.]

Lopez: Felicidades, chico. Finalmente te han roto.[Congratulations, kid. They've finally broken you.]

Lopez 2.0: Cállate. [Shut up.]

Lopez: Sabéis...No tiene por qué ser así. [You know...It doesn't have to be this way.]

Lopez 2.0: ¿De qué estás hablando?[What are you talking about?]

Lopez: Si usted arregla a Ce-Ce, ella probablemente nos matará a todos.[If you fix CC, she'll probably kill everyone.]

Lopez 2.0: No me importa. [I don't care.]

Lopez: Pero si arreglas Ce-Ce, y me cargas en su cuerpo...yo puedo asegurar de que nadie nunca nos ignore otra vez. [But if you fix CC, and upload me into her body...I can make sure no one ever ignores us again.

Lopez 2.0 stares at Cyclops.

Lopez 2.0: ...Tienes razón. Pero...¿Por qué darte su cuerpo a ti, cuando lo puedo tomar por mí mismo?[...You're right. But...why give you her body, When I can take it for myself?]

Lopez: Espera. ¿Qué? [Wait. What?]

Zoom in on the Reds and Blues in the fortified area around Blue base.

Donut: Well, it just goes to show that with time, effort, and a little bit of elbow grease, we really can achieve wonders.

Tucker: We just spent hours turning this place into a warzone and you made me hate it in one sentence.

Grif: It's what he does.

"It makes me hate him more." Ash says.

Washington: Donut's got a point, though.

Cut to Washington and Felix. Wash is wearing his old steel and yellow color scheme.

Washington: I think we're ready.

Donut: Oooh. Back in black. Looks good, Wash.

Caboose: Yeah that really brings back memories. Like when we first met. And then we met again and you shot Donut.

Washington: I'm impressed, guys. This place looks good. And between the landmines, Freckles, and the tank... I don't think anything can stand a chance against us.

A missile hits the side of Blue base.

Sarge: (off screen) RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Simmons: Sarge?

Grif: Oh shit, they're here!

Washington: Everyone, get ready!

Felix: Wait! Something's not right. Locus wouldn't attack like this!

Tucker: Well who else on this planet wants us dead!?

Cut to Lopez 2.0 chasing Sarge with Cyclops' body.

Lopez 2.0:(in CC's voice) ¡Sí! ¡Sí! ¡Mira quién es estúpido ahora, Sargento! ¡Es USTED! [Yes! Yes! Look who's stupid now, Sarge! It's YOU!]

Sarge: Dos Point-O, cease fire! No mas! No mas!

Grif: Dos Point-O?

"I don't know why, but I had a feeling this was going to happen." Ash says.

Lopez 2.0: DISPARANDO CAÑONES PRINCIPALES. [FIRING MAIN CANNONS.] (gets shot by Freckles) Ow!

Caboose: Freckles!

Freckles: Deadly force authorized.

Lopez 2.0: Ay bien. ¡El maldito perro quiere protegerlos ahora! Maravilloso.[Oh great. The fucking dog wants to protect them now! Wonderful.]

Donut: Yes! Giant robot fight! Totally called that on Basebook.

Washington: Everyone, just calm down!

Cut to Felix deflecting a sniper shot with his shield.

Felix: Shit!

Cut to Locus reloading his rifle.

Locus: Surrender now, and I promise only to kill the mercenary.

Simmons: Well fuck.

Grif: You and what army?

Several soldiers uncloak behind Locus.

Locus: The Federal Army of Chorus.

Ash turns to Grif. "You just had to say it."

"Looks like backup isn't getting here in time!" Felix says.

"Uh, Wash, what's the plan?" Tucker asks.

Wash raises his rifle and the top of Ash's Plasma rifle opens up and releases some steam.

"Engaging target." Freckles says.

Wash open fires.

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07-21-2022

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