Chapter 238: Along Came a Spider

Fade into Armonia with multiple soldiers running around. Cut to Kimball approaching two Feds.

Kimball: Alright men, let's get this hog lined up with the others.

Fed Soldier 1: Uh, have you filled out the vehicle request forms?

Kimball: What are you talking about?

Fed Soldier 2: The Federal Army follows a very strict regimen when it comes to requesting weapons and vehicles.

Kimball: Well, this isn't the Federal Army.

Fed Soldier 1: Tell me about it.

Kimball: Listen you little-

Washington walks in.

Washington: You two. Why isn't this warthog over with the rest of the vehicles?

Fed Soldier 2: Oh, Agent Washington!

Fed Soldier 1: We will get right on that sir.

Washington: Good.

The two Feds hop into the warthog and look towards Kimball and Washington.

Washington: Now, is there anything you feel like you should say to General Kimball?

The two Feds stare at Kimball.

Fed Soldier 1: ... Bitch.

The Feds drive off.

Washington: Hey! (running after the warthog)

Kimball: Remind me to put those two on the front line.

Washington: Don't you start too.

Kimball: I told you they won't listen! They're just a bunch of mindless drones that do whatever Doyle tells them to do.

Washington: And you're the leader of the cave-dwelling savages that blow things up to get what they want.

Kimball: You know that's not true.

Washington: Well, you haven't done anything to prove them wrong yet, have you?

Kimball: Agent Washington, I'd appreciate it if you didn't lecture me on how to make friends with the enemy.

Washington: The enemy?

Kimball: You know what I mean.

Washington: We're all on the same side here, Kimball. Have some faith. If you start believing in them, maybe they'll start believing in you.

Kimball: Yeah. ...Maybe.

A warthog passes by in the background, with Jensen at the wheel.

Jensen: Excuse me, vehicle coming through.

Washington: Please tell me that wasn't Jensen.

A crash is heard off screen.

Simmons: (off screen) GOD DAMN IT!

Jensen: (off screen) Sorry!

Cut to show Grif and Simmons looking at a crashed warthog with Jensen at the wheel. Kimball and Washington run towards them.

Simmons: How?! How was that possible?! You were going like 5 miles an hour!

Jensen: Uh, I'm sorry, sir. Just bad luck, I guess?

Palomo runs out from behind a warthog.

Palomo: Yeah uh, just so you know, I'm fine.

Palomo is hit by a warthog driven by Bitters.

Bitters: This where we parkin' the cars? (under the warthog, Palomo groans)

Axel pops out from behind a Warthog. "I LIIIIIIIIIVE!"

Cut to Church staring aimlessly. Carolina, Ash, Dr. Grey, Tucker, and Caboose are seen on warthogs.

Carolina: Epsilon?

Church does not respond.

Carolina: Hey Church!

Church: Huh? What? What?

Carolina: I said, is this where we're parking?

Church: Oh yeah, this is it.

CHORUS • UNSETTLED TERRITORY

Tucker hops out and Ash gets off the gunner spot.

"Sweet! We're here?" Tucker asks.

Church appears next to Tucker. "Nah... just a pit stop. We need to refill the jeeps while we have some cover. There should be some gas cans in the back..."

Ash walks off to the side with Xi on his shoulder.

"You told me those were lemonade cans." Caboose says.

"What? When?" Church asks.

"The first week we met." 

Church: (chuckling uneasily) Oh. Caboose, have you been drinking-?

Caboose: The first gulp was pretty rough, but you know, I didn't want you guys to think you made bad lemonade.

Tucker: Well that explains the fuck out of your birthday candles.

Caboose: Yeah I wished I was a dragon. It was the best birthday ever.

Ash walks over to Dr. Grey.

Carolina: Hey Epsilon.

Church: What's up C?

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Carolina: Wanna run some more equipment training?

Church: What? Right now?

Carolina: Might as well while we're stopped. It's good knowing the bubble shield works, but I still feel like my deployment time could be better.

Church: Carolina, you're fine. Just relax, alright?

Carolina: But-

Church: Hey, hey. Carolina, come on. You know how you used to be, okay? You start pushing yourself too far, you're gonna get hurt. And the last thing we need right now is another stupid injury. So come on, take it easy, loosen up.

Carolina: Loosen up. Right.

Church: Hey, are you doing okay?

Tucker: Okay, we're ready to go.

Church: Oh, badass. You filled up our car too?

Tucker: Yeah, I gave it to both of them. Bow-chicka-bow-

Carolina: Bow-chicka-bow...? What? That's the joke, right?

Tucker: Did she just say my thing?

Caboose: Um, no. Uh Tucker, that's Hey-chicka-bump-bump. Awkward.

"This is the most awkward thing I've ever heard you say, Carolina." Ash says.

Carolina: (to Church) You said to loosen up!

Church: That's a little too loose. Just tighten that back up a little bit.

Tucker: (off screen) I feel violated.

Cut to Locus at a jungle, standing beside a computer terminal. Felix approaches him.

Felix: I can't stand this prick.

Locus: He's our employer.

Felix: Still a prick.

Locus: Felix.

Felix: Whatever, let's just get this over with.

Cut to the Staff of Charon drifting in space amongst what appears to be an asteroid field filled with debris.

Locus: Control, this is Chorus transmitting on a secure feed, over.

STAFF OF CHARON

Cut to the Chairman's trophy room. A row of items are seen: Epsilon-Tex's shattered helmet, the Monitor shell, Meta's Brute Shot, Carolina's Magnum and the Capture Unit.  Along with a certain Plasma Rifle with a Katana.

The Chairman is speaking with the mercs on a holo-screen. Holograms detailing news and a stock market can be seen.

Chairman: Locus and Felix, I was beginning to wonder if you were purposefully neglecting my transmissions.

Felix: Wha, neglect you? (chuckles) Chairman, please! Never in a million years! We're just... kind of in the middle of something.

Chairman: (sarcastically) Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Felix. I know exactly how frustrating it is to be interrupted. Just this morning I met with a client, who's very interested in our new Suppressor submachine gun (picks up a broken Suppressor, showing it to the mercs) UNTIL THE BLOODY THING BLEW UP IN HIS HANDS!!

Felix: Gosh, you know, we are so sorry to hear that, sir. But it kinda sounds like you should take that up with your science team.

Chairman: Oh, I did. (tosses away the rifle) In fact, I spoke with the members stationed with you on Chorus. They seem to believe that the colonists and their... "heroes"... are responsible for the incident. Last I checked, you, are responsible for them.

Locus: We're taking care of the situation.

Chairman: Are you? When I hired you, I was promised perfection. I was told that you were the best! Everything we had on your backgrounds and previous missions, told me: You were the right choice! But, here we are...

Locus: Sir-

Chairman: (interrupts) Is it lack of resources? Are the ships I've redirected to your front door not helpful?! What about the armor enhancements?! Stopping bullets in their tracks! Vanishing into thin air! Are these gifts not good enough for you?!!

Felix: It's complicated.

Chairman: No, it isn't! In fact, it's remarkably simple! ...Everything I've built... Everything I've worked towards, rests upon a strong foundation. An intricate web of partners, politicians and clients each supporting one another and right now... your thread is straining to support the rest. I think I know what the problem is. I think... it's your motivation. Clearly your monetary compensation isn't enough. So... I'd like to try something different. F.I.L.S.S.?

F.I.L.S.S.: Yes, Chairman.

A panel in the room slides off showing a pod, which is raised up.

Chairman: (smiling) Do you have... any idea what this is?

Cut to the reveal of the content: the Meta's armor.

Locus: The armor of Freelancer Agent Maine.

Felix: The Meta.

Chairman: Not anymore. This is the future of modern warfare. Active camouflage, enhanced strength, light shields. Dr. Church paired each of his Freelancers with specialized equipment, but with our modifications, this suit contains all of them.

Felix: I thought that was impossible.

Chairman: Not initially. The armor enhancements had to be removed and studied in secret, so that we could create the modified versions you both carry now. The variations reduced power consumption significantly, solving a large portion of the puzzle.

Locus: But it's still not ready.

Chairman: No, not yet. Individually our new equipment can be activated without AI assistance, but tests have shown that running multiple enhancements proves to be far more taxing on the mind than we anticipated.

Felix: So, what? You want us to capture the Epsilon A.I. or the Xi A.I.?

Chairman: Recovering Freelancer equipment is always a priority, Felix, but the Epsilon and Xi unit are far too old to run this suit properly. I'm doing my best to secure an AI through legitimate means, but, even with my political influence, the acts of a late Dr. Church have made AI acquisition... an extremely difficult process. (lays hand on armor and strokes with his thumb) But it's only a matter of time. (turns to the mercs) Which brings me back to my point. If the two of you can successfully complete your mission before this suit is ready, Charon Industries is willing to "lend" you the completed model, for your own use, as a form of... "field testing".

Felix: (excited) Oh-ho ho, become a one-man walking weapon? I like the sound of that.

Chairman: However, if you fail to eliminate the remaining stragglers on Chorus, then we will find another candidate to test the suit. And their first task will be finishing what you started, as well as tying up any-loose-ends. (Cut to mercs) Do I make myself clear...?

Felix: (simultaneously) Crystal.

Locus: (simultaneously) Yes sir.

Chairman: Good. (Transmission ends.)

Felix: What'd I tell ya? Fucking prick.

Felix walks off-screen, Locus is silent.

Felix: Hey! (Locus turns to Felix) Let's see what this map led us to.

Locus: Right.

The mercs walk up on a ramp to reveal a big alien temple deeply forested. A wide energy beam is emitted upwards. Several Space Pirates are on-site.

JUNGLE TEMPLE

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07-26-2022

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