Chapter 23: [Bonus ] The Villain I Chose

(From Blue's Perspective)

If I told him to hurt them, he would do that, I knew he would not bother thinking about it again. Perhaps I should have told him that. But for some reason, I did not want to do that. All I wanted was to let them see and suffer from within. 

"Don't you come here?" I asked.

"No. It has been a long time since I've come here last."

"When did you come here last?"

"Probably eleven or twelve years ago," he replied normally.

"..."

"???????????????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????? ???????????????????? ????????????? ???????? ???????????????????? ???????????????? ????????'???? ???????????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???????? ????????????. ???????????? ???????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????????? ???????????????????? ???????????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???????????? ???????????????????????? ?????????????????????"

"Perhaps because the person is me."

Every time he read my thoughts and answered me, I had to remind myself again and again that he could read thoughts and I needed to be careful while thinking about something. What if I offended him somehow? He was going to punish me for sure. 

The wind was chilly. For some reason, his company made me feel strange, not in a bad way though. He was a king, someone very busy, but still, here he was, sitting with me on the roof, enjoying the cool breeze of the night. His hair was as black as coal, slightly gazed. His eyes matched the color of the night, or perhaps the night was not as darker. He was dangerous, the type of person I would keep myself away from, yet with him, I felt at ease, I felt protected. It was like he could save me from anything and for some reason, I wanted to be with him, not in his shade, but beside him as an equal. I admitted he was scary, but he did not hurt me and if I was right, he did not have any intention of hurting me either. He was right- in this world, the villain could be the savior and perhaps, I could accept a villain as my savior as well. 

As I glanced at him, I found him smiling at me. Did he read my bizarre thoughts again? But I decided not to care about it anymore and try to act normal, just like the way I would if he could not read thoughts. There was no point in trying not to think about weird stuff anymore. No matter how hard I was going to try, I would end up thinking about them again. So it was better if I did not try, rather I should behave normally. It would be better for both me and him. 

"That's a good choice that you made," he said. 

"I know." 

"You're not afraid of me anymore then?"

"I am."

"I see. What can I do to make that fear go away?"

"You can't do anything. I just have to get used to it," I replied. "You don't mind me flinching a bit, do you?"

"Honestly, I do. But I will try not to pay attention to it much."

"You know that you're scary, don't you? Then why do you be like that?"

"There is one thing that I cannot do. No matter how much I try, I cannot hide my true self completely. After meeting you, I wanted to be like others, impress you the way other men do, but then I realized I cannot do that. It would make you fear me even more if I tried. Rather, I decided to be my exact self with you and let you choose- fear me or like me, because either way, you have to be with me."

"????????????????????????????????????????."

"I just know what I want and if I want something," he said, "I make it mine." 

"Even if it something you should not have?"

"Yes, even if it is something I should not have, even if it's forbidden."

"???????????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????????, ????????????????????????????????????????????, ????????????????????'???? ???????????????? ???????????????????? ????????????????????????, ????????????????????????????????????, ????????????????????'???? ???????????????? ????????, ????????????????????'???? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????????? ???????? ????????????????????????, ???????????????? ???????? ???????????????? ???? ????????????????????????????????????????."

"The things that you're thinking about, do you know that I can get angry?"

"But you're not angry. It is human nature to think about anything and it's you who is reading my mind. I haven't asked you to do so. So, you have to bear the consequences as well," I replied. 

He laughed, shaking his head. He looked even more handsome when he laughed which he did not do often. I watched as if I was bewitched and felt that I could watch him like this forever. 

"You have a point there, my bride," he said, still laughing. "You amaze me. Sometimes you're like a little girl who fears me, and other times you're like a fierce lioness that shoots words like sharp claws. Exactly who are you?"

"I thought you know me. That's why you want to marry me, don't you?"

"I thought... I thought I know you enough, but now I know that I don't. There are more things about you that I need to find out."

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"And I thought I was the one in the dark about you."

"Trust me, among others, you're the one who understands me the most even if you know me for a very short time," he said and kissed the side of my head gently. "We will become a great couple."

I felt my cheeks heating up at his words. How could he talk so shamelessly? Did he even think of what he was saying?

"Oh, is my bride shy?" he teased. "I can't talk shamelessly, I can be shameless as well. But you have to wait till tomorrow to see what I can be. Tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow, and the day next- it will keep going on like that."

"????????????! ???????????????? ???????? ???????????????? ???????????????????????? ?????????????"

"I don't mean just that," he said. "Having sex is a simple task. You can do it with anyone. But I don't want to do that with you."

"Huh?"

"I don't want to have just sex with you. I want to taste every part of you, every single place_ I want to mark as mine. I want to make love to you, make you love me. All night long, I will..."

I quickly put my palm on his mouth to stop him. I was sure my face was flushed because of embarrassment. 

"Don't."

"Don't what?" he asked, taking my palm in his hand, moving from his mouth. 

"Don't_ talk like that. Those words_ are too embarrassing."

"Don't be embarrassed around me. After all, we are going to be together until death does us apart. We need to get used to each other."

"There is time for that."

"So you're admitting that after some time you will get used to it and I'll be able to talk dirty to you."

"No! I'm just saying... Never mind."

We sat in complete silence for a while. It was not uncomfortable. We both seem to enjoy the silence along with the cold wind in the peaceful atmosphere. Suddenly he touched my hand and kissed my knuckles. I was surprised by the action. 

"Happy birthday, my bride," he said with a smile that was so dashing that I did not care about what he said, rather I was more focused on the smile. 

"Do you know how long I waited for this day? Since the first time I met you, I've been waiting... waiting for you to turn eighteen so I can marry you. I always wanted to make you mine forever. And now just some more hours, and you will be mine."

"Have you waited a very long time?"

"Yes," he said, laughing. "For you, I can always wait."

"Even if I'm not ready for something, will you wait for me until I'm ready?" I asked. 

"Do you mean... You're not thinking about anything as you asked."

"I'm just saying," I mumbled. Truly, I did not think about anything as I asked this. It just came to my mind and I thought of asking. 

"Even if it's that, I guess I have to wait. It will be hard, but I will try," he said. 

"What are you talking about?" I asked. This time, I truly did not have any idea what he meant. 

"You'll know, my bride."

"Okay," I mumbled. "So_ we're getting married tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Um... are there any kinds of rituals or something like that I need to know about?"

"There are.. You'll know soon enough," he said, in his usual mysterious tone and I could not help but wonder what he meant.

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