Chapter 29: Chapter Eleven: The Testament of Shana MacArthur

Reli had left Kara and I alone, and admittedly I had felt just a bit bad for her. She was so worried about us, that much was pretty obvious, and we kind of brushed her off. What could you do though right? It’s not like telling her what happened would make her feel better, nah it would probably have made things worse. 

“She really is precious,” Kara said, placing her hands on my shoulders to give me a massage.

“Yeah,” I sighed and leaned back into Kara as she worked her magic into my aching back. “Ever feel guilty about getting her involved in all this?”

“Oh? Do you think it irresponsible of me to recruit her?”

“No, sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” I quickly corrected myself, “I mean just, you know she’s so young, maybe too young to get involved in this kind of stuff.”

“I was quite young myself you know, though admittedly I would never want another to be subjected to the things I had been when I was her age.” She moved her hands to my lower back, and pressed her fingers firmly into me, rubbing into my tense muscles.

“How old were you when you started the brothel?”

“By then I was nearly twenty, though I had to work for it. I didn’t start out on my own but had to work for others first.” she sighed, “my experiences underneath a more overbearing and controlling system of leaders is what helped shape the way I run the Manor. I try to give liberties and freedom to my wonderful family here, ones that I never experienced.”

“So you were a part of some shitty brothel before this huh?” I wriggled as she sent the tingly sensations that radiated throughout my body.

“Not a brothel, a much bigger organization than that.” She leaned forward, placing her chin on my shoulder. “But that is all the life I left behind, that is the past, and this here, this is our present. If living through the pain, the harsh punishments, the lack of control, and the pressure of expectations were the price I had to pay for this life now then I would do it all over again.” She kissed my cheek, then wrapped her arms around my neck. “So I have healed your physical pain, but it is up to you to heal the emotional pain.”

“Hah, emotional pain? Nah I’m fine.” I laughed a dry sarcastic laugh.

“It is a dramatic thing that you’ve experienced, you don’t have to hold it in dear.”

“Josie’s hurting way more than me. I’m not the one who... you know.” I couldn’t say it, wouldn’t say it. It was horrible, and I couldn’t help her.

“Yes, and that is an emotional pain she will bear, one that she will heal from with time. Though scars will always remain.” She ran her finger along my cheek as she spoke, “you and her are a lot alike, there is so much baggage you carry, and you refuse to allow others to help carry it.” 

“I...” I wanted to object, but what was the point? She was right. Gabby has said the same thing, time and time again. “I’ve done my share of crying for the night.” is all I ended up saying.

“Perhaps that may be so, you have certainly shed tears for your friend, but what of your own tears?”

I shook my head, and pulled away slightly, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I see it in you, in that empty smile, hiding behind your sunny eyes. a burden you’ve carried for a long time.” She grabbed my hand, and squeezed it tightly. “The silver revolver you carry, is your focus correct? The one Gabby manifested for you to use her magic.” She squeezed my hand tighter, “tell me love, to what familiar does the black one belong?”

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