Chapter 33: Chapter Twelve: The Testament of Arela Hawks

I worried for Shana even more now, she was so cold, so sad when we had met with Kara and the prophet Vox. Not long after she left the throne room, I went looking for her. She wasn’t in her room, nor was she in the dining hall. I was afraid she had left and went to the city where it would be almost impossible for me to catch up. I ended up bumping into a Kydael while I ran about the manor searching for her.

“Oh dear, Miss Arela, what’s the matter hun?” The Kydael, who was named Lulu, helped me back to my feet after I had plummeted into them.

“I’m looking for Miss Shana, have you seen her?”

“I’d reckon that I saw her heading out the south door a while ago,” Lulu answered me.

“Okay, thank you miss Lulu!” I bowed my head, and ran off. They called out to me to be careful, and I slowed down just a little as I turned the corner.

“Reli, dear, perhaps we should let her be for now?” Miki suggested.

“I know, but...” I slowed down more, taking a few more steps before coming to a stop, “but I just want to help her. Even if I can’t actually do anything, I atleast want her to know that I’m here for her. I’m not some child who can’t handle the hard stuff. She can talk to me. I might not be able to give her advice, or even condolences. Still I can listen.” My eyes were streaming tears again. 

“I’m sure she knows this already, dear, you truly are sweet Reli. You care so much and so deeply, and everyone knows that.” She took shape beside me, and wrapped her arms around me. “You have such a big heart, for such a small girl, and I love that about you.” 

“I feel so useless though,” I cried into her, “all I can do is care, all I can do is stand there and listen. I want to help, and maybe that alone does help. But I just wish I were strong like Shana, or wise like lady Kara. Or confident like Josie.”

“You are loving, that is what you are. That is your biggest and brightest trait dear.” Miki lifted my chin with her finger, and wiped away my tears. “You are so, so loving, and that really does mean a lot, sweetie.” 

I sniffled, “you think so?”

“I know so.” She smiled at me, then kissed my forehead. “I love you my sweet little Reli.”

“I love you too Miki.” I hugged her tighter, while we stood there in the hall of the manor. Eventually others began to flood the hall, as the early hours of the day were soon to creep in. I returned to my room, embarrassed that someone may have seen my sniveling display. 

As I approached my room, I saw Josie leaning against the door. “Oh Josie!” I perked up when I saw her.

“Hey, mind if I come in?”

I shook my head, “No I don’t mind at all!” I was almost too eager.

She smirked, “awesome, lead the way.” She tilted her head to the door as she stood up. 

“Oh yeah, right.” I unlocked it, and we entered my room. My heart fluttered with a strange nervous tension. I was excited that Josie had come to me, though something felt off about her. I sat on the sofa, and she lingered by the door. Her posture was off, it was stiff yet also fierce, something I’d have expected more from Shana than her. Normally she moved with such cute and delicate mannerisms, to see her so rough confused me. “So, did you want to talk?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to open her recent mental wounds. 

“I don’t know,” She said running her hand along the door. She locked it, then began to slowly slunk over to me. “I’m not sure what it is I want.”

“Oh, well, whatever you need just let me know okay?” I smiled at her, bright, yet concerned.

She stepped closer, a strange stagger in her steps, and straddled herself on top of me. She brought her face close to mine, her breath smelling of a strong liquor, “I think, I think I need you.” She said with a flirtatious yet uncomfortable smile.

“I’m here for you Josie,” I said hesitantly, “anything you...” she silenced me with a kiss. Not the same kind of sweet and titillating kiss she normally gave me, but a sloppy forceful one. She placed her hand on my thigh, gripping it tightly, and continued her drunken kiss. I was torn, it was not pleasant, yet I didn’t want to stop, for her sake. I felt awful, I knew she was hurting, yet I didn’t like this, it felt wrong. Her hand migrated up from my thigh towards my belly, reaching underneath my vest. I began to squirm as she roughly pulled my vest up.

“Josie stop!” Miki appeared and tore the girl off of me. 

She fell to the floor with an angry scowl, before looking back at me. Her anger broke and turned to a deep sense of regret as she looked at my wet crying face, “Reli...I’m...” she hastily picked herself off the floor, and ran for the door. She struggled with the lock and cried, “I’m sorry Reli!” then ran out the door. 

A part of me wanted to call after her, but another part of me knew I should let her go. 

“How dare she!” Miki shouted.

“I don’t think...”

“No, I don’t care! She has no excuse for that sort of behavior!” Miki shut and locked the door. “She is lucky I can not harm an Ael without your permission.”

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“No, I wouldn’t want that.” I said, my voice weak. 

“What she did is unforgivable! If I wasn’t here to stop her, who knows how far she’d have gone?”

“I’m an adult Miki, isn’t that my choice?”

“Exactly, your choice, not the choice of a drunken whore!”

I stood up and yelled, “She isn’t a whore!” Miki’s eyes grew wide and wet, her posture turned timid. She almost looked small to me at that moment. “Yeah, I was uncomfortable. And yeah, she should feel bad. But...” I was on the verge of crying once more, but I held it in, “I love her and I do want to help her.” 

“That’s not going to help her,” Miki argued, “It will only place an even greater strain on you. And who does that help?”

“I know. But I’m not going to write her off like that.” I stamped my foot. “She made a mistake, and I am lucky that I have you here to protect me. But, I think she realizes that too. That she was wrong. She wasn’t afraid of you, she was afraid of hurting me.”

“I disagree.” Miki shook her head, her arms crossed. “If I hadn’t been here to stop her, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what she was going to do.”

“No, because I would have stopped her.”

“Oh would you? Then why didn’t you?”

“Because I... because I wanted to make her happy in any way I could, even if...”

“Even if it didn’t make you happy?”

I shook my head, “I know that’s wrong. And you are right, maybe I couldn’t have stopped her. But I believe she would have stopped if I asked her to.”

“I don’t have as much faith in her as you.” 

“So what, you want me to stop seeing her?” I asked, my tears leaking out like water through the cracks of a damn.

“No, I can not force you to stop seeing someone you wish to see. Though as your familiar, I’d ask you to reconsider.” She sighed.

“But I love her!” I said it, and not like I said it before. I meant it the same way I meant it with Miki. I loved Josie.

Shocked, maybe even hurt a little, Miki stared at me, her mouth agape. “But I am your lover?”

“Can I not love two people? Look at Shana and Kara, they still love their familiars and each other!”

“And what do they have to do with it?” She asked, her brow line, if you could call it that, furrowed.

“What do you think?”

“They are roommates, nothing more.” She huffed.

I almost wanted to laugh, she always called me innocent, yet even I could see there was more than that, “You’re joking right? They’re lovers and everyone knows it!” 

“Reli, what has gotten into you? I’ve never seen you this worked up sweetie.” She sounded concerned, though I was too fiery to care.

“What isn’t wrong? My friends were hurt but won’t talk to me about it! The woman I love forced herself on me, and the other woman I love is aaaaaargggg!” I threw my face into a throw pillow on the sofa and screamed. 

She sat beside me, placed her hand over my head, and stroked my hair. I cried into the pillow as she sat there with me, till eventually I fell to sleep.

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