Chương 76: But he’s such a cute dinosaur!

“My name is NANAYA, and my rank is Oni!!”

Upon hearing those words, everybody takes a step back.

No way, a yakuza was already in the restaurant! And this dude seems even stronger than the guys on the boat!

Before we even have time to discuss a plan to take him down, the Japanese man jumps on his table and kicks the bowl he emptied a few seconds ago into a Chinese boy’s face sending him to the ground.

He then jumps onto another one’s shoulder and slices his throat cleanly before landing back on the floor, a metre away from XIAO SHUI.

The boy whose throat got sliced open brings a hand to his neck and staggers for a second before falling down, giving this NANAYA a body count of three trained martial artists in less than a minute.

Before he does something stupid, I pull XIAO SHUI by the collar. “QUICK, GET TIAN HUO TO COME HERE!” I shout, certain that we have no chance to take him down with just the seven of us.

XIAO SHUI gives his comrades a worried look, but turns around and runs back to where the kitchen is. “I’LL BE RIGHT BACK!”

The yakuza, still smirking, juggles with his knife again and seems to be assessing who he’s going to kill next.

“Retreat!” I tell the boys around me, who nod and take a few steps back.

Maybe I can gain some time, so I raise my hands, which seems to catch the Japanese’s attention. “Don’t fight!” I say in Mandarin, but I remember he doesn’t understand, so I try to pronounce some random Japanese words I learned in anime, which only makes him widen his eyes.

Fuck! This dumb sister of mine couldn’t teach me Japanese as a part of my training too?!

He is staring at me for some reason, so I strike a stupid idol pose I saw in a manga and continue my ridiculous show. “Aren’t I cute? Aren’t I pretty? But sorry~ I’m taken already~!”

“Shut up.” At least I more or less understand what he says! Still smirking, he points at me with the tip of his knife and chuckles: “You won’t fool me, Glasses. You and I are alike. Take out your knife and let’s fight.”

Of course, he has seen through me the same way I saw through him. I’m also not going to point out the fact that he wears glasses too…

I swiftly pull my knife out of my pocket and get in a defensive stance.

My opponent’s smirk widens and he leaps over to me in the blink of an eye.

I dodge by ducking, so he rolls and lands behind me, then jumps back on his feet. He’s swift like a predator.

But I’m swift too, and I may be able to beat him quickly with my usual technique!

Deciding to end this as fast as possible, I dash towards him and slide between his legs… But he hops over my body with a front flip and slices the back of the arm which I was protecting my head with.

Fuck… I slide further away so I’m not too close to him when I get back on my feet and lick my bloodied arm.

I don’t need to win, just to stall for a minute, for enough time for TIAN HUO to arrive!

I bend over to lower my centre of gravity and squat. I can count on my legs’ elasticity to keep him a fair distance from me… Or so I thought, before his blade got close enough to reach my face.

He leaps forward once again, so I bend my upper body backward and make a bridge to dodge the attack, making my back crack painfully.

God, I wish I was flexible like Boobies and able to do some ninja backflips to get back on my feet while kicking him in the process!

Unfortunately, my opponent notices that I am in a painful position and sweeps my legs out effortlessly, so I fall on the floor with all my weight.

“Ouch…!” Lying down, I massage the back of my head, but NANAYA gets on top of me and prepares to stab my chest.

“Weak.” He pronounces, disappointed.

His knife is a few centimetres away from penetrating my skin, when TIAN HUO saves me in the nick of time by shoving the Japanese away with the sheer strength of his palms.

NANAYA flies across half the room and crashes into the wall, his breaths short.

“Are you okay?” TIAN HUO helps me to stand up.

“Yeah.” I nod. “Thanks for saving me.”

“Of course.” He assesses the situation, then approaches the yakuza while the Chinese boys warn him to be careful. “We’re very lucky that there was one of them already in the restaurant, so we don’t have to wait for others to come. XIAO SHUI, ask the manager where the backdoor is.”

“Yes!” XIAO SHUI obeys and runs to the kitchen again while TIAN HUO squats to check if the yakuza is still conscious.

NANAYA grabs the occasion to slash him, but TIAN HUO expects it and dodges easily. He grabs him by the collar and throws him back to the middle of the room.

NANAYA coughs and tries to get back on his feet, but TIAN HUO doesn’t let him and throws him in the air, where his body slams against the ceiling and falls back onto the floor.

What the hell is this fighting style?! That’s super violent, even for me!!

“Birds, as well as many other animals, noticed early on that gravity was their best ally in order to hunt and kill. Did you know that some eagles fly up in the air to drop their prey onto the ground?” TIAN HUO ruthlessly explains. “In my birthplace, this is how we kill stray dogs. They are quite sturdy, you know? If you aren’t strong enough, they will kill you even if you’re armed, but grabbing them by the legs, like this, then smashing them onto the ground is quite an efficient method.”

TIAN HUO applies what he just said by grabbing NANAYA by the legs and smashing his body on the restaurant’s floor, making quite a mess of a scene.

“You’ve been having lots of fun killing our comrades, haven’t you? At every crime scene, we found out they were killed with knives. It must have been you, right? Nine out of ten were in a restaurant too, so I’m convinced it’s you, even if you can’t respond right now.” TIAN HUO continues until the yakuza’s splattered blood paints a large portion of the floor.

“Sh-shixiong…” One of the Chinese boys tries to interfere in the gruesome display of violence, while another one vomits his breakfast.

I must admit this is shocking even for me. I know TIAN HUO has good reasons to be mad, but wasn’t the goal to take the yakuza as a hostage to trade him with TIAN SHUI?!

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I should also mention that the fact that this guy resembles me a bit makes it even more disturbing. I pray that I’ll never anger someone like TIAN HUO in this life or the next…

“SHIXIONG!” XIAO SHUI’s voice sounds from the door.

TIAN HUO stops his ‘dog slaying’ when he hears the boy’s voice and listens to what he has to say.

“Shixiong! We have a problem! Chinatown is blocked by a super big truck! All the traffic is stopped!”

TIAN HUO seizes the yakuza’s smashed face and lays three fingers on his neck. “You’re still alive? Good job piece of shit, I didn’t expect any less from you.” He raises his head, and gives orders to two of the remaining Chinese boys. “Bu Shuai and Bu Keai, you two carry him. XIAO SHUI, show us the backdoor. We must leave before his backup gets here.”

The boys carry the bloodied yakuza, who is thankfully not very heavy and we all start running to the back way, where the manager is keeping the door open for us, and makes a panicked expression.

I finally notice the ruckus of the street, and actually wonder how I didn’t register it before. The remaining boys who aren’t busy carrying the yakuza open the umbrellas we came in with and lift them over TIAN HUO and the other’s’ heads. I squeeze my way to the middle of the group. I don’t want to get wet either…

As seven Chinese boys, one unconscious Japanese and pretty me rush out of the restaurant, only protected by four umbrellas at our cardinal points, the hubbub of honking cars can be heard from the other side of the building.

Thankfully, we only have to take three or four small alleys to get back to the HQ.

Halfway through one of them, the group suddenly stops walking.

With the rain loudly pouring on the umbrellas, it’s difficult to hear anything else, so I try to see what’s blocking our way, but these guys are too tall, so I just whisper. “What’s going on?”

TIAN HUO pulls his pointy hat up to his head and advances alone. “Move aside.” He says.

I finally squeeze my way to the front and see someone who looks like the cliché of a delinquent in shoujo manga, which almost makes me laugh until I remember that she could be a yakuza too, even though she’s blonde.

“I don’t have a minute to lose with you fuckers.” I hear her speak. “You’re from the Triads, I only have to look at your clothes to know it. What the fuck are you doing with that truck?!”

What truck? Wait, if it’s not the yakuza’s, then whose truck is it?!

TIAN HUO gazes back at us, then turns to the girl and responds. “It’s bombed, you’d better run away.”

“AS IF YOU’D BOMB YOUR OWN DISTRICT!” The girl yells. “Tell the truth, now!”

But TIAN HUO raises his palm and strikes her as fast as a bullet. “We have no time to lose either, but taking a second hostage isn’t a bad idea. Hey, airhead.”

Why do I feel like he’s calling me?

“I’m not an airhead!”

“You recognized yourself.” He points out. “Make yourself useful and help me beat that woman without killing her.”

“I didn’t want to get wet!” I complain, but I walk away from the umbrellas.

I pull my knife out for the second time today and approach the girl who slowly stands up after being thrown onto the ground.

She proudly opens her leather biker jacket and reveals a super long iaito that must bend space-time in order to stay hidden under such a small coat.

“Hm… Gege… I don’t think I can beat her… She’s got one of the four katanas of legend…!”

“NO WAY!” The woman exclaims. “You recognized my Muramaria of the Cross?! You have good eyes, kiddo! What’s your name?”

I didn’t really recognize it, but going by that name, this girl must be a huge manga nerd and a wannabe.

“Uh…. Just call me DIANA.”

“Cool name, cool name! Is it from Saint Seiya?”

“Not at all… Saint Seiya has Greek references anyway…”

“You really do know your stuff!” Her eyes widen. “Ah, but I didn’t present myself, I AM GON! Get ready to cross my blade with your small and pathetic knife, DIANA of the Triads!”

Oh no…

I am probably making the most disgusted expression I am able of right now.

Of course, I don’t feel that good being titled as a member of the Triads, considering I think these guys are all absolute dumbasses, but… Worst of all…

Her name… It reminds me of some of my worst memories… Some memories of my sister, who claimed it was the best in the world. She always regarded it in such high esteem that I gathered all my strength to loathe it.

“Ew…” I pronounce uncontrollably. “I hate that manga!”

My words stun the woman for what feels like a whole minute until she screams of rage: “BUT HE’S SUCH A CUTE DINOSAUR!!!!”

What the hell is she talking about? I thought Gon was a character from Hunter x Hunter!!!

It’s only when the confusion reaches its peak that she seems to notice something and comments. “Wait, isn’t that NANAYA you guys are carrying? Damn, nice job beating that brat up. I wanted to do it so badly… But unfortunately, I have orders from Ohime-sama to bring him back, so…” She gets into a fighting stance and points her two and a half metres long iaito which almost already reaches my face and spits. “I won’t go easy on you.”

Damn, if only I knew what Gon was about, maybe we wouldn’t have to fight!

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